Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs
Sunday, January 03, 2010

Harold Camping lets out a hearty chuckle when he considers the people who believe the world will end in 2012. "That date has not one stitch of biblical authority," Camping says from the Oakland office where he runs Family Radio, an evangelical station that reaches listeners around the world. "It's like a fairy tale." The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011.

Liberal Blog Advertising Network

Menu

Subscriptions

Author Info

skizziks

MORE STORIES

Special Features

Comments

Admin's note: Participants in the discussion of this weblog entry should note the site's moderation policy.

......Nanc is going to put her house up for sale...

What if God divides instead of multiplies?

And anyway, doesn't the Bible say no one shall know the time of his return? (Matthew 24:43-44)

Maybe this Bible "scholar" missed that verse.

Isn't that Obama's birthdate?

Here are some more fools too.

2008-MAR-21: After a lengthy calculation based on the Bible, a British group, The Lord's Witnesses, has concluded that the start of Armageddon will happen on this day.

2008-APR-6: Philip B. Brown incorrectly predicted that the Great Tribulation would start on 2001-APR-7, with the appearance of the the two witnesses described in Revelation. He also predicted that the start of Jesus' millennial reign would be on 2008-APR-6

2008-Apr-17: "Everyone else who dies will be resurrected at the end of the first 1,000 years of Christ's rule in a physical body to learn the truths of God. God has not been trying to save anyone. If he has been, he is doing a lousy job. My words are true and you will see for yourself very soon, starting, 2008-APR-17th the 7th seal of revelation will be taking effect.

2008-MAY: Pyotr Kuznetsov is the leader of a Russian doomsday sect called the True Orthodox Church. They reject processed food and regard bar codes as Satanic symbols. He predicted that the world would end in 2008-MAY.

2009-SEP-19: El Shaddai Ministries predicts that Jesus will return to Earth in 2015, and that the tribulation could start during the fall of 2008 at the Feast of Trumpets: September 19.

2008-OCT-31: Michael Travesser's group of 45 adult followers survived his failed 2007 prediction. It is fairly common among such groups to experience an increase in group cohesion after a failed prophecy, as they desperately search for a new prediction in which to believe. Travesser and some of his followers started one-week fast during which they ate no food, followed by another one-week fast when they consuming neither food nor water. This was to protest the criminal charges against their leader based on allegations of his sexual conduct involving underage girls -- a charge he denies. Their plan was to continue this until they receive their "deliverance promised by heaven" at the end of their "Year of Jubilee."

www.religioustolerance.org

And anyway, doesn't the Bible say no one shall know the time of his return? (Matthew 24:43-44)
Maybe this Bible "scholar" missed that verse.
#2 | Posted by silver_ironist

......Jesus said his return would be within the lifetime of some of his followers......

........he missed it too.......

""No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father."

Mat 24:36

"......Jesus said his return would be within the lifetime of some of his followers"

Skizz, where exactly does it say that His followers whom He walked the earth with, will see His second coming...gotta Book, Chapter and Verse?

Some of His followers saw Him after His reserection. More than 500 of them.

"Harold Camping lets out a hearty chuckle when he considers the people who believe the world will end in 2012."That date has not one stitch of biblical authority," Camping says from the Oakland office where he runs Family Radio, an evangelical station that reaches listeners around the world. "It's like a fairy tale."The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011."

Lisa let's out a hearty chuckle when anyone claims to know the date!

LOL

Too funny!

Jesus' disciples died waiting. Christians have not lost patience.

Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.
But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into.
Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect. (Mat. 24-42-44)

I am sure old Harold and all* his conservative buddies will be giving everything they own to charities on May 20, 2011.

After all, they won't be needing it any more, will they?

* Except for the 20% or so that are gay. They won't be raptured, obviously. That is how we will all know exactly who the gay bible thumpers are. They will be the ones with money on May 21, 2011.

Skizz, where exactly does it say that His followers whom He walked the earth with, will see His second coming...gotta Book, Chapter and Verse?

Some of His followers saw Him after His reserection. More than 500 of them.

#6 | Posted by Lisa

....aww Lisa.....now you're going to make me work...ok....back in a while.....but this is stuff you should know......

Matthew 16:27-28 (King James Version)

27For the Son of man shall come in the glory of his Father with his angels; and then he shall reward every man according to his works.

28Verily I say unto you, There be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of man coming in his kingdom.

.....which also begs the question of why there needed to be a second coming ??........

.....I guess because the first one, did not work out.......

.....but according to the old testament, the Massiah was only supposed to come once .........

Except for the 20% or so that are gay. They won't be raptured, obviously.
#9 | Posted by axe

.....do cross-dressers get a 50% deal ?.......

#11

That's what I thought.

You need to read the versus before and after, at the very least in order to have that in context as well as

In that SECTION of Scripture, Jesus is predicting His death for the first time as well as His resurrection and transfiguration.

In the verse you are refering to, Jesus was talking about His final judgement, His followers eternal destiny and telling them it is secure and that their final judgement will be when He returns.

He is not speaking about their bodily death.

".....which also begs the question of why there needed to be a second coming ??.............I guess because the first one, did not work out............but according to the old testament, the Massiah was only supposed to come once ........."

Sigh

Skizz....why not get a good Bible and just study it before you throw things out there without fulling knowing Jesus, His purpose or God's plan.

I realize that you don't believe, but it would be beneficial for you just on discussion alone and that way, it saves you time from having to type what I had quoted.

If you seriously want a response to your post, I can give you one but it will have to wait till later. Dinner is almost done and I need to get things ready for church in the morning.

BTW... Happy New Year!

He is not speaking about their bodily death.
#14 | Posted by Lisa

.....of course......every contradiction and inconsistancy has the explanation that: this time he meant it, that time he did'nt mean it......this time the bible meant it, that time the bible only meant it for the old testament, that time the bible said it, but did not mean it........

.....not to worry though...have a Happy New Year Lisa.......

Lisa - the issue is when Jesus said he'll return.

Jesus was an apocalyptic prophet who believed his followers would see the end. His Sermon on the Mount in Mathew 24 is very clear about that.

Skizz....why not get a good Bible and just study it before you throw things out there without fulling knowing Jesus, His purpose or God's plan.

BTW... Happy New Year!

#15 | Posted by Lisa

.....I read it cover to cover......I was taught by Catholic friars in grade school....and Jesuits at university......

.....and my conclusion is that Christianity, like all religions, is a crock......

.....but have a happy New Year, kiss your kids one from me....they are real.....and deserve your love and attention more than some delusion....no matter how comforting.....

Jesus' disciples died waiting. Christians have not lost patience.

Watch therefore, for you do not know on what day your Lord is coming.
But know this, that if the householder had known in what part of the night the thief was coming, he would have watched and would not have let his house be broken into.
Therefore you also must be ready; for the Son of man is coming at an hour you do not expect. (Mat. 24-42-44)

^^^

Does that mean the coming of the "Lord" is compared to a thief and we should be ready to stop him?

Loh

Does that mean the coming of the "Lord" is compared to a thief and we should be ready to stop him?
#19 | Posted by Lohocla

....it means don't hold your breath......

"Christians have lost patience...."

I'm sure you can find some. None I know or have met in a decade, though. As always, you just need to get out more.

Is it my imagination, or have you stopped seeing Jesus as a metaphor for the sun? You quote the man like He were real. How does this affect your website?

Since you're crediting Jesus with being real and saying real things, and appear to credit the Sermon on the Mount, do you also credit He correctly prophesied the destruction of the Temple, which occured some thirty-seven years later?

I seem to be confounding LOCHOLA with RAY---No matter, they were likely spearated at birth.

"Which they shall not taste death, till they see the Kingdom of Heaven come...."

For bonus points, and using what is currently known about physical science, what mechanism could Jesus use to arrange the Second Coming on 01/5/2010 AND that same date in January, A.D. 34?

It's not a small unviverse, it's a big one.

If only the pure are to be raptured, that would mean fetuses only---unless of course God doesn't count fetuses as people. If you were pregnant and raptured, would your fetus just plop on the ground? If only fetuses are raptured, who decides the good fetuses and the evil fetuses.

Another story on someone who is pimping the end of the world and getting paid.

"Would your fetus just plop on the ground....?"

Well, BOB---If I credited the doctrine of rapture, which I don't, I'd say God has the resources to sort that out.

LOCHOLA with RAY---No matter, they were likely spearated at birth.

#24 | Posted by Zed

.....we should be so lucky......

Is it my imagination, or have you stopped seeing Jesus as a metaphor for the sun? You quote the man like He were real. How does this affect your website?

Jesus still personifies the sun. The gospels are about the sun passing from the Age of Aries to the Age of Pisces. Son of Man personifies Orion. The cloud personifies the Milky Way. The gospels are written in allegory, not history. There is no point in pushing it on this crowd anymore. Even when I quote the Bible, they/you go into denial.

do you also credit He correctly prophesied the destruction of the Temple, which occured some thirty-seven years later?

The gospels were written after the temple was destroyed. Paul did not know of a corporeal Jesus.

who decides the good fetuses and the evil fetuses.
#26 | Posted by Buffalo_Bob

......Santa Claus.......he's keeping a list......

I'd say God has the resources to sort that out.

#28 | Posted by Zed at 2010-01-02 08:26 PM | Reply | Flag:

So does the flying sphagetti monster.

"The Gospels were written after the Temple was destroyed...."

Some were written before and some after. But I understand how you feel need to hold firm to the post hoc nature of Gospel.

"So doesn the Flying Spaghetti Monster...."

Well, so there you go. And you were worried.

"Paul didn't know of a corporeal Jesus...."

You mean to say he never met the Man before He was crucified. That seems to be true, though it also seems likely Paul had seen Jesus from a distance at some point. Paul met Christ eventually nonetheless, however, in a Big Universe sort of way.

"There's no point pushing it on this crowd any more...."

Brave words by a man whose ideas on religion are shared by---How many serious researchers? Few, given you won't do the hard, dirty, risky work of preparing your ideas properly and offering them for scholarly review.

Some were written before and some after.

Only in your wildest imagination. The gospels were written in Greek, probably in Rome. The disciples were all illiterate. The gospel names were assigned hundreds of years later by one of the church fathers, I can't recall the name right now. The Book of John is in a class by itself.

What is YOUR reasoning?

"From now until the latter part of 2008, many prophecies are going to begin to be fulfilled, especially the Seven Thunders of the Book of Revelation, which the apostle John saw but was restricted from recording. Those thunders are revealed in this book, as well as detailed accounts of the final three and one-half years of man's self-rule on earth, which are recorded in the account of the Seventh Seal of Revelation.

Some of these prophecies concern the demise of the United States over the next year, which will be followed by man's final world war. This last war will be the result of clashing religions and the governments they sway.

Billions will die!"

the-end.com

"The year 2008 marked the last of God's warnings to mankind and the beginning in a countdown of the final three and one-half years of man's self-rule that will end by May 27, 2012."

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"Only in your wildest imagination...."

You see, RAY---The problem is that anyone can go look and make up their own minds. The answers are in the Journals you eschew in favor of the internet.

"The Disciples were all illiterate...."

I'm not familar with that text, RAY---Can you quote it? One thing's for sure, Jesus is described as reading several times.

But I'll go with you up to a point. It's likely several or more WERE illiterate.

You mean to say he never met the Man before He was crucified. That seems to be true, though it also seems likely Paul had seen Jesus from a distance at some point. Paul met Christ eventually nonetheless, however, in a Big Universe sort of way.

Paul didn't know about: (1) virgin birth (2) place of birth (3) time of birth (4) parents names (5) childhood (6) John the Baptist (7) Jesus' baptism (8) the devil's temptation (9) moral teachings (10) miracles (11) apocalyptic views (12) transfiguration (13) Judas (14) Peter's denial (15) his arrest and trial (16) twelve disciples (17) the women who came to his tomb (18) Son of Man (19) travels (20) parables. I may have left something out, but that covers most of the gospels.

What Paul did know about Jesus came from OT prophecies. I documented every one. www.usbible.com

Paul was emphatic that he learned about Jesus through grace, not flesh and blood.

15But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and had called me through his grace,
16was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not confer with flesh and blood,
17nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me, but I went away into Arabia; and again I returned to Damascus. (Gal. 1:15-17)

It's all here: http://www.usbible.com/Paul/ pauls_confessions.htm

RAY---Is it not true we haven't all the letters Paul wrote?

Paul didn't know about Christ's arrest and trial? But you have to concede he knew about the Resurrection. Perhaps you posit Christ died by natural causes, such that no one considered it important or elected to speak of it? Makes you wonder why Peter, et. al., decided to go into hiding.

The Time Before Death

Friend, hope for the Guest while you are alive.
Jump into experience while you are alive.
Think... and think...while you alive.
What you call 'salvation' belongs to the time before death.

If you don't break your ropes while you are alive,
do you think
ghosts will do it after?

The idea that the soul will join with the ecstatic
just because the body is rotten--
that is all fantasy.
What is found now is found then.
If you find nothing now,
you will simply end up with an apartment in the City
of Death.
If you make love with the divine now, in the next life
you will have the face of satisfied desire.

Kabir

Someone Should Start Laughing

I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:

How are you?

I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:

What is God?

If you think that Truth can be known
From words,

If you think that the Sun and the Ocean

Can pass through that tiny opening
Called the mouth,

O someone should start laughing!
Someone should start wildly
Laughing Now!

Kabir

Oops: that last poem was by Hafiz.

I'm not familar with that text, RAY---Can you quote it?

There's a verse in Acts that spells it out. I can't recall what to look for.

Hi Gal!

But at my back I always hear
Time's winged chariot hurrying near;
And yonder all before us lie
Deserts of vast eternity.
Thy beauty shall no more be found,
Nor, in thy marble vault, shall sound
My echoing song; then worms shall try
That long preserv'd virginity,
And your quaint honour turn to dust,
And into ashes all my lust.
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.

~Andrew Marvell

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~ William Ernest Henley

Paul didn't know about Christ's arrest and trial?
Correct.

But you have to concede he knew about the Resurrection.
Through prophecy. Paul's sources were either OT prophecy or himself. It's on the pages I linked.

A nasty surprise in a sandwich,
A drawing-pin caught in your sock,
The limpest of shakes from a hand which
You'd thought would be firm as a rock,

A serious mistake in a nightie,
A grave disappointment all round
Is all that you'll get from th'Almighty,
Is all that you'll get underground.

Oh he said: 'If you lay off the crumpet
I'll see you alright in the end.
Just hang on until the last trumpet.
Have faith in me, chum-I'm your friend.'

But if you remind him, he'll tell you:
'I'm sorry, I must have been pissed-
Though your name rings a sort of a bell. You
Should have guessed that I do not exist.

'I didn't exist at Creation,
I didn't exist at the Flood,
And I won't be around for Salvation
To sort out the sheep from the cud-

'Or whatever the phrase is. The fact is
In soteriological terms
I'm a crude existential malpractice
And you are a diet of worms.

'You're a nasty surprise in a sandwich.
You're a drawing-pin caught in my sock.
You're the limpest of shakes from a hand which
I'd have thought would be firm as a rock,

'You're a serious mistake in a nightie,
You're a grave disappointment all round-
That's all you are, ' says th'Almighty,
'And that's all that you'll be underground.'

1983

James Fenton

Happy New Year, Zat, to you and yours!

If you think that Truth can be known
From words,
If you think that the Sun and the Ocean
Can pass through that tiny opening
Called the mouth,
O someone should start laughing!
Someone should start wildly
Laughing Now!

......bad poetry doesn't seem to be doing the trick either.....

LOL, Skizz. Maybe something go lost in translation.

RAY---Is it not true we haven't all the letters Paul wrote?

True. Some are forgeries too.

go=got

......Jesus said his return would be within the lifetime of some of his followers......

........he missed it too.......

McCain ain't dead yet. He used to hang out with mary magdalene.

Same to you, Gal.
My daughter's on a round-the-world trip (She's with a college buddy in Bangcock now.) and I had dinner with my son and his new bride a couple of hours ago. The Goddess is sick with a cold and has banished me to the country so I'm blogging and listening to ham radio.

---------------

The other day upon the stair
I saw a man who wasn't there

He wasn't there again today
I wish that he would go away

"Jesus said His return would be in the lifetime of his followers...."

Jesus said, repeatedly, that He had no idea when it would happen. The time and date was only known to the Father.

Jesus also said, repeatedly, not to worry about it.

Paul said that his sources were the Disciples themselves, RAY.

Jesus said, repeatedly, that He had no idea when it would happen. The time and date was only known to the Father.

But he taught his disciples what signs to look for.

Paul said that his sources were the Disciples themselves, RAY.

What's your source. It doesn't reconcile with:
15But when he who had set me apart before I was born, and had called me through his grace,
16was pleased to reveal his Son to me, in order that I might preach him among the Gentiles, I did not confer with flesh and blood,
17nor did I go up to Jerusalem to those who were apostles before me, but I went away into Arabia; and again I returned to Damascus. (Gal. 1:15-17)

"But He taught his Disciples what signs to look for...."

And there's been thousands of years of debate about what, exactly, He meant by what He said. It's among the most fascinating parts of the Bible.

It would be interesting to think that Christ was actually describing the demise of the Third, as yet unbuilt, Jewish Temple as a prelude to the End of Days---if in fact End of Days was what He was speaking about at all.

Paul spoke with Peter, and others.

Paul spoke with Peter, and others.

I think Peter is the only one of the named disciples. Peter represented a Jewish sect who would not compromise on Jewish law. Paul split with him. Paul was the founder of Christianity, not Peter.

Does this mean the worst of the Babble-thumpers are gonna go away?

I found the illiteracy verse.

Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they wondered; and they recognized that they had been with Jesus. (Acts 4:13)

It's hard to argue that any of the disciples were educated, much less understood Greek. Anyway, the gospels were written anonymously.

"The disciples were all illiterate."

Golly! We have at least one physician in the inner circle, a tax collector (who had to maintain two sets of books) several successful business owners, and at least one lawyer.

(People like this tend to associate with others who are equally trained.)

All lead by a guy (a general contractor) who was conversant in at least four languages and well-studied in the law.

Sure sounds like a bunch of illiterates.

Doomsday delayed again?

Didn't REM write a song about these idiots?

....I was taught by Catholic friars in grade school....and Jesuits at university...........and my conclusion is that Christianity, like all religions, is a crock.....
#18 | Posted by skizziks at 2010-01-02 07:29 PM | Reply |

Hey skizziks! (Btw, I LOVE palindromes)
Why is the Catholic church so good at producing people like that?!?! I see it all the time, and it's almost always Catholic schooled students....hmmmmm

Golly! We have at least one physician in the inner circle, a tax collector (who had to maintain two sets of books) several successful business owners, and at least one lawyer.
Sure sounds like a bunch of illiterates.
#68 | POSTED BY VERNON

Vern is Bible illiterate. The gospels were written anonymously and in Greek, a language none of the disciples understood. They contain errors in geography and custom which would have been known by locals. Some were Hebrew translation errors that came from the Greek Bible, the Septuagint. The gospel names were assigned about two hundred years after the events supposedly took place. Orthodox Christianity was one of many Christian sects at the time. Those particular gospels were selected out of many, for their adherence to the Orthodox tradition. Even there, the Book of John is entirely incompatible with the synoptics.

Hey skizziks! (Btw, I LOVE palindromes)
Why is the Catholic church so good at producing people like that?!?! I see it all the time, and it's almost always Catholic schooled students....hmmmmm
#70 | Posted by kirk

.....because they provide a very rigorous education.....

....the students turn out brighter, and figure out that religion is a crock before those dumb protestants do.......

Jesus said, repeatedly, that He had no idea when it would happen. The time and date was only known to the Father.
#59 | Posted by Zed

....not much of a god, was he ?.....

Since Camping's apparently so good with numbers, maybe BHO can enlist him to help balance the federal budget.

Jesus said, repeatedly, that He had no idea when it would happen. The time and date was only known to the Father.
#59 | Posted by Zed

That blows a hole in the Trinity.

What this guy seems to not realize is that you can find an infinite amount of relations between an infinite amount of numbers if you try to make them fit with any kind of mathematical equation: there's bound to be some kind of fit.

Harold Camping lets out a hearty chuckle when he considers the people who believe the world will end in 2012. "That date has not one stitch of biblical authority," Camping says from the Oakland office where he runs Family Radio, an evangelical station that reaches listeners around the world. "It's like a fairy tale." The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011.

Is Camping going to show up for his DR Funny Flag, or will Rogers mail it to him?

"The real date for the end of times, he says, is in 2011."

Hah! Only Zatoitchy knows the REAL date.

"That blows a hole in the Trinity...."

You model God on, oh, I don't know---The guy that sells you beer at the convenience store? I wouldn't do that. That guy likely doesn't like you very much when you aren't spending money.

But thanks for conceding Paul had a source for information among the disciples. Anything Peter knew, at the very least, Paul would have known. Unless you want to posit Peter didn't know about the arrest and trial of Christ either?

That would put you back where you so often are---Using the Gospels as authority only when you can bend them to make your point.

"It's hard to argue any of the disciplies were educated...."

Actually, we were arguing about literacy. The practice of the Jews at the time of Christ was to take turns reading and commenting upon Scripture on the Sabbatth.

We know Jesus did that. The Gospels don't say, as far as I know, but it would strain credulity that out of a group of twelve other believing Jews one other hadn't done that.

I'll take this further---Levi (Matthew), as a tax collector, can be assumed to be a keeper of records. That would have to make him literate, at least to a degree.

But thanks for conceding Paul had a source for information among the disciples. Anything Peter knew, at the very least, Paul would have known. Unless you want to posit Peter didn't know about the arrest and trial of Christ either?

I did not say that. The disciples were a fiction too. I said Paul knew Jesus by Scripture and "grace" before he knew Peter. Peter knew no more than Paul knew; their source was OT prophecies as I alluded to and quoted.

You model God on, oh, I don't know
Jesus treated God as a separate being. The Bible does not support the Trinity.

That would put you back where you so often are---Using the Gospels as authority only when you can bend them to make your point.

No. You've twisted around everything I've said. It puts as believing the same fiction as Paul.

I'll take this further---Levi (Matthew), as a tax collector, can be assumed to be a keeper of records. That would have to make him literate, at least to a degree.

Wrong again. See #71. The errors and the Greek language rule out the disciples.

We know Jesus did that. The Gospels don't say, as far as I know, but it would strain credulity that out of a group of twelve other believing Jews one other hadn't done that.

That's an incredulous assumption. But as you have long proven, evidence contrary to what you want to believe carries no weight.

My dear RAY---If the Gospels are all fiction you can cease quoting them to me as if they proved anything.

"Greek language ruled out the Disciples...."

Judea was filthy with Greek speakers, and the Disciples grew up in proximity to them.

Whups---Sorry---Forgot Disciples are fictional.

"Jesus treated God as a separate being...."

But Jesus also referred to Himself as God, or made that inference, many times.

Damn--Sorry---Fiction again, what?

Zed
The sun god myth still stands. I quote the gospels because even THEY don't support your beliefs.

"I quote the Gospels...."

Poorly. You've called out for lack of completeness by others. And your understanding of life in 1st Century Judea is almost nil.

Ray, I'm curious. What benefit is there for you should you succeed in destorying ones faith?

Should you succeed, Ray, what would you replace it with?

Man?

But Jesus also referred to Himself as God, or made that inference, many times.

You probably mean Son of Man. Jesus refers to Son of Man in the third person. It is you who ASSUME Jesus refers to himself.

So, RAY---When Jesus remarks that the Son of Man has no place to lay His head---He's referring to someone else sleeping in afirled that night?

Whups---"Sleeping in a field that night...."

The fictional Jesus was quite poor.

"Before Adam, I AM...."

Doing this from memory, of course, but you know that verse. What did Jesus mean when He said He existed (and does exist, to give this a fascinating twist in relation to modern physical knowledge) before the creation?

Washboard

That same question applies to faith in government which I don't think you have much of. Anyway, nobody is forcing Zed and others to debate me. I advised Zed once that he doesn't have to, but he seems to relish it. I'm not going to change his mind. I see this site as a form of mental recreation.

Should you succeed, Ray, what would you replace it with?
Man?

Self. I believe honesty with reality should be one's highest priority.

"He seems to relish it...."

ZED has passed along more than one thing from these discussions to young people---Who aren't interested in atheism.

RAY serves God---Like it or not.

So, RAY---When Jesus remarks that the Son of Man has no place to lay His head---He's referring to someone else sleeping in afirled that night?

#93 | POSTED BY ZED

It all makes sense from the astrological viewpoint. Son of Man personifies Orion which disappears in the night sky late December and appears early in January. Orion is not one of the Zodiac constellations, hence has no place to sleep, or no place on the solar ecliptic. Orion was probably thought to be the sun's spirit.

BTW Orion is easily visible this time of the year. Look for a large hourglass pattern with three stars at the waistline The tree stars point towards the largest star, Sirius. That's the Star of Bethlehem and the three stars are the Magi.

RAY serves God---Like it or not.

You're entitled to your fantasy.

a bunch of crazies..

a bunch of crazies..

No kidding.

#90

True.

but that seems the norm around here.

They take a verse, try to fit it to what they want it to mean without knowing who it was written for, what issues the author of the particular book was addressing and without understanding the culture, struggles and situations of those times.

DAMN! And I thought it was the day Obama was elected!

They take a verse, try to fit it to what they want it to mean without knowing who it was written for, what issues the author of the particular book was addressing and without understanding the culture, struggles and situations of those times.

That's what you're doing Lisa. The gospels do not support the Jesus you believe in. Many times he threatened non-believers with suffering in a fiery hell. He was a hypocrite, vindictive and vicious. I can bring those quotes up any time, and you'll play play that same song.

if only all of these 'end of the world' imbeciles would agree to hold an 'improve the human gene pool' meeting at the grand canyon.... AND JUMP THE FUCK OFF!

I didn't read the 100+ posts above, but I assume it's been pointed out Harold Camping already predicted the "end of time" once before - in 1994.

"once before - in 1994"

Pat Robertson predicted it before that and he's a billionaire; Living proof millions of Americans are idiots.

May 21, 2011? Sarah Palin and her brood (but not Levi) will be floating naked up to the clouds before she amuses us with her presidential campaign?!?

What a disappointment!

But I remain hopeful that this preacher is right. I look forward to gleefully waving goodbye to America's sanctimonious republicans as they fly off bare-assed to their WalMart/Disneyworld/Golf Resort in the sky. And then it's PARTY TIME on this earthly paradise!

Here's a stock tip: Sell NewsCorporation and ClearChannel before they drop to 2 cents a share on May 22, 2011.

Living proof millions of Americans are idiots.

#107 | Posted by Zatoichi

Texas has over a million of them now?

Some of His followers saw Him after His reserection. More than 500 of them.

#6 | Posted by Lisa

At least 500 people have seen Elvis since he kicked too.

I'm just saying....

"His reserection(sic). More than 500 of them."

Bullshit. And learn to spell.

re"erections" are good for u!

"And learn to spell...."

You know, that may be the most concrete statement I've heard ZAT utter in two years.

Jesus is a myth for stupid people.

Hey Zed, Jesus has five seconds to suck my ass or you are a mentally retarded piece of shit with the IQ of lint.

'consecrat' works for me

I'd mention once more that it's silly and confusing to use Jesus as a real person one moment and an astrological fiction the next...Wait a moment, I just did.

Time's up!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

moron

Jesus is a myth for stupid people.

#114 | Posted by Zatoichi

like u to foam over in ignorance of ?

"IQ of lint...."

I refuse to be compared with something brought out of your nose. Matter of ordinary pride.

I'm still waiting Zed.

Ignorant shit.

time to hit the bourbon (sic:>) Zat

Still no tingle on my rectum fuckwit.

"Ignorant shit...."

Just waiting for you to teach me, ZAT....And waiting, and waiting....

I'll tell you what---Let's talk of the nature of Time---Does the past exist somewhere physically, ZAT?

All ears here.

15 failed predictions of the
end of the world during 2006

www.religioustolerance.org

Fifteen prematurely aborted discussions of the basic nature of reality since 2006. The nature of the real, she can be very scary.

"The nature of the real, she can be very scary."

so can yugas

To borrow ZOMBIE'S schtick for a moment, I think there's a neuroanatomical structure that governs "withholding", and it may be overly developed in some people.

I love ya to pieces Zat but I fail to understand why you need to viciously insult someone because of their religious beliefs.

Zed is a good person, as are other Christians on this site.
Why not just agree to disagree without the insults?

If by "good person" you mean "pompous ass", then I agree.

"viciously insult"

has to do with that past life he had with Max

"Pompous ass...."

I have therfore risen far above lint. Hurrah.

Not to worry, LETUSPREY, if I find you, ZAT, or both together bleeding and unconscious in a ditch, this piece of pompous lint will still make sure you live to insult another day.

15 failed predictions of the
end of the world during 2006
www.religioustolerance.org
#126 | POSTED BY ZATOICHI

That's 16 if you count global warming.

The people laugh at each other claiming the other a fool for not knowing WHEN the end-times will happen, all wile forgetting that what they believe has as much basis in reality as Snow White or any other fairy tale.

Must suck to spend your life living in fear.

"Must suck to spend your life living in fear...."

Couldn't tell you.

Zed - does that mean you think you'll get to heaven and you won't have to suffer eternal torment in hell?

BuffaloBob

I saw the headline on here --

"Biblical Scholar's Date for Rapture: May 21, 2011"

So does this mean if you're no longer around 'cause you're among the raptured ones on May 21, 2011, then you'll have an excuse to squiggle out of our bet on whether or not the Mayan prophecy comes true on 12/21/2012 and you'll be off the hook having to buy me that (rare) prime rib dinner you'll owe me when I win? LOL

Nichts ... nada ... zip.

Oh well, another imbecilic myth for stupid superstitious losers shot down in flames.

Library of Date setters for end of the world!

www.bible.ca

44 Theudas declared himself the Messiah, taking 400 people with him into the desert. Beheaded by Roman soldiers. Josephus records this.

53 Even before all the books of the Bible were written, there was talk that Christ's return had already taken place. The Thessalonians panicked on Paul, when they heard a rumor that the day of the Lord was at hand, and they had missed the rapture.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

idiots

400 Hippolytus "calculated that 5,500 years separated Adam and Christ and that the life of the world was 6,000 six full 'days' of years until the seventh the day of rest." His calculations in 234 indicted there were still two centuries left. (from A History of the End of the World, Rubinsky and Wiseman, 1982)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

1994

After promising themselves they would not make any more end time predictions, the Jehovah's Witnesses fell off the wagon and proclaimed 1994 as the conclusion of an 80 year generation - the year 1914 was the starting point.

Jehovah's Witlesses is more like it.

And for a million laughs there are always these idiots: www.raptureready.com

Pat Robertson is always good for some bullshit:

* In 1980, Robertson predicted the start of World War III, telling his audience that God said the year would be full of "sorrow and bloodshed that will have no end soon, for the world is being torn apart, and my kingdom shall rise from the ruins of it." He also prophecied in the same year that the Soviet Union would invade the Middle East to seize its oil reserves.
* In 1988, Robertson claimed that God told him to run for president. He did not win the Republican primary.
* In his 1991 book The New World Order, Robertson forecast that U.S. Senator Jay Rockefeller would be elected president in 1996.
* In 1998, Robertson threatened that, as punishment for flying rainbow flags during Disney World's annual Gay Days event, the city of Orlando would be struck by "earthquakes, tornadoes and possibly a meteor".
* In 2004, Robertson predicted that George W. Bush would win reelection in "a blowout". Although Bush was reelected, it was by 50.7% to 48.3% - the closest ever margin for a sitting president.
* In January 2006, Robertson forecast that the U.S. midterm elections would leave the Republican party in control of Congress. He also predicted that the Iraq war would "come to a successful conclusion" that year and U.S. troops would begin withdrawing.
* Robertson also predicted in 2006 that devastating storms and hurricanes would lash the U.S. coast. He must have thought this a particularly safe guess, but in fact no hurricanes made landfall in the U.S. in that year.

www.daylightatheism.org

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

And that miserable shit is a billionaire! Idiots.

" As reported by Americans United, Pat Robertson has joined in the fun, predicting "mass killings" to occur on American soil due to a terrorist attack sometime this year. (Robertson said he expected this to come in the form of a nuclear attack, but emphasized that this was only his educated guess - as opposed to the rest of this prophecy, which was clearly straight from God's mouth and not at all just made up.) "

www.daylightatheism.org

HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHA

Y'all be sure and send ol' Pat some money now!

"Nuclear-powered vacuum cleaners will probably be a reality in 10 years." (Alex Lewyt, president of a vacuum cleaner company in 1955.)

"We stand on the threshold of rocket mail." (U.S. postmaster general Arthur Summerfield, in 1959.)

"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist-" (Last words of Gen. John Sedgwick, 1864.)

digg.com

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
Charles H. Duell, an official at the US patent office, 1899.

It will be gone by June.
Variety, passing judgement on rock 'n roll in 1955.

A short-lived satirical pulp.
TIME, writing off Mad magazine in 1956.

And for the tourist who really wants to get away from it all, safaris in Vietnam
Newsweek, predicting popular holidays for the late 1960s.

Four or five frigates will do the business without any military force. - British prime minister Lord North, on dealing with the rebellious American colonies, 1774.

In all likelihood world inflation is over.
International Monetary Fund Ceo, 1959.

This antitrust thing will blow over.
Bill Gates, founder of Microsoft.

And of course:

Read my lips: NO NEW TAXES.
George Bush, 1988.

www.2spare.com

Zat, you forgot to add:

Happy Extinction losers.

Zat those other people just got the wrong year right?

# Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.
Grover Cleveland, U.S. President, 1905.

# Man will not fly for 50 years.
Wilbur Wright, American aviation pioneer, to brother Orville, after a disappointing flying experiment, 1901 (their first successful flight was in 1903).

# I am tired of all this sort of thing called science here... We have spent millions in that sort of thing for the last few years, and it is time it should be stopped.
Simon Cameron, U.S. Senator, on the Smithsonian Institute, 1901.

# The Americans are good about making fancy cars and refrigerators, but that doesn't mean they are any good at making aircraft. They are bluffing. They are excellent at bluffing.
Hermann Goering, Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe, 1942.

# With over fifteen types of foreign cars already on sale here, the Japanese auto industry isn't likely to carve out a big share of the market for itself.
Business Week, August 2, 1968.

# The multitude of books is a great evil. There is no limit to this fever for writing; every one must be an author; some out of vanity, to acquire celebrity and raise up a name, others for the sake of mere gain.
Martin Luther, German Reformation leader, Table Talk, 1530s(?).

# Ours has been the first [expedition], and doubtless to be the last, to visit this profitless locality.
Lt. Joseph Ives, after visiting the Grand Canyon in 1861.

# There is no doubt that the regime of Saddam Hussein possesses weapons of mass destruction. As this operation continues, those weapons will be identified, found, along with the people who have produced them and who guard them.
General Tommy Franks, March 22nd, 2003.

Hey, this is fun!

www.2spare.com

www.2spare.com

www.2spare.com

www.2spare.com

And last but not least: www.2spare.com

"I am tired of all this sort of thing called science here... We have spent millions in that sort of thing for the last few years, and it is time it should be stopped."

Simon Cameron, U.S. Senator, on the Smithsonian Institute, 1901.

#151 | Posted by Zatoichi at 2010-01-03 05:51 PM


You had some great quotes listed, Zat, but that one was a classic! lol

Do people really believe this stuff?
Seriously?

"His reserection(sic). More than 500 of them."
Bullshit. And learn to spell.

#111 | POSTED BY ZATOICHI

a res-erection is what you call a dead mans boner..

jesus had a res-erection.. of course by day 3 when his body was stolen from the crypt his whole body was "stiff"

a res-erection is what you call a dead mans boner..

A Weekend at Fundie's...

The ice is melting.

Hey granpa,its a new year,why not think of something new to post?

The ice is melting

Get your freezer fixed

Life is not a journey to the grave
with the intention of arriving safely
in a pretty and well preserved body,
but, rather to skid in broadside,
thoroughly used up,
totally worn out,
and loudly proclaiming,
"WOW! What a ride!"'

I don't know about the Rapture, but I heard Jesus just left Chicago and was bound for New Orleans.

Amen to that, UPL8

----
Of course, IF Barry is the AntiChrist he is doing a pretty lousy job of being it..

Camping is such an, well, delusional. Relying on a book written over hundreds of years. Without regard to how various "books" in the bible were chosen for inclusion.

Not that the islamists are any better. Or any "organized groups of believers."

lets play "make up a date and profit off it"

"Without regard to how the various books of the Bible were chosen for inclusion...."

If you'd read the Apocrypha, it's actually not that hard to understand. Another fake issue raised from out of simple laziness.

Anti-intellectuals accusing others of being anti-intellectuals. Hope it's fun, because it sure isn't honest.

"Thoroughly used up...."

I assume Keith Richards is the model here? How attractive. For bonus points, how many times did Keith travel to Switzerland to have his entire blood supply changed out to side-step chemical addictions?

Of course, Keith had the advantage of being a rich idiot. "Used up" means something entirely different in relation to you.

lets play "make up a date and profit off it"

#163 | Posted by cmon at 2010-01-04 09:57 AM | Reply | Flag:

Cut from the ALGORE/L.RON playbook I am guessing?

This guy is a disgrace. He is preying on vulnerable people. We have a family friend that is a Vietnam war veteran with a large dose of mental problems. He listens to Camping on the radio and believes everything about 2011. He is stocking up on ammunition in order to protect himself when it all starts to come down. He's very paranoid. In fact, we think he has stopped his house payments because it's all going to end anyway. When 2011 comes and goes, Campy is rich, and our friend is homeless(we would help him of course). Plus, the VA is very stingy with the mental help he needs. What a shame all the way around.

I was driving home one day and flipping through the radio stations and hit on a religious station...

I listened for about 5 mins, the guy was talking about the end of the world and how all the "signs" were in place etc..

Then he preceded to say something like "oh and if the world is ending soon, you may want to call or mail in your gift now"

was funny as hell, sad thing is these assholes pray on the weak, don't know how they sleep at night...

Mark 13:32 "But of that day or hour no one knows, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but the Father alone

Oh, and Camping.

#170 "sad thing is these assholes pray on the weak, don't know how they sleep at night..."

#170 | Posted by cmon at 2010-01-04 10:45 AM | Reply | Flag: Flag: (Choose)
FunnyNewsworthyOffensiveAbusiv
e

..."pray" on the weak...

Pun intended? I agree BTW.

The rapture is yet another thing that isn't even in the Bible that has come to be believed by millions of people. It is ridiculous. They even have post and pre rapture camps.

#173

yea i don't understand how people take it as part of christianity when its not in the bible.

"Without regard to how the various books of the Bible were chosen for inclusion...."

If you'd read the Apocrypha, it's actually not that hard to understand. Another fake issue raised from out of simple laziness.

#164 | Posted by Zed

Zed, dude...that's what I was saying about Camping...he is a literalist and fundamentalist who sole sources the bible as authority for everything. Definitely "Hawthorne Effect" for research and coming to conclusions. Similar to loner terrorists.

Try taking my WHOLE post in context. Cherry picking not allowed...

And yes, I've read the A. and well as a bunch of other "religious writings" and historical information from the time.

Council of Nicea, anyone?

Council of Nicea

They were religious scholars that did a compilation of what they considered authentic documents, and they excluded much material, mostly texts written later than Paul and even the Gospels.

Much of what they discarded was written 200+ years after the facts, not the 20 to 50 to 70 years later material that they kept. All in all they did a pretty good job.

Except for the book of James, which Martin Luther said was, ".... a wispy little epistle without a word of Gospel in it."


Some of His followers saw Him after His reserection. More than 500 of them.

#6 | Posted by Lisa

Ahh, but how many saw him with an ACTUAL erection - probably far fewer than 500.

#173 Everlong> The rapture is yet another thing that isn't even in the Bible

Greek word "harpadzo" (I may have misspelled the word somewhat) is used to describe the "rapture". The word itself means a "taking away", a sudden event.

E> They even have post and pre rapture camps

Those have been around for something like 300 years (or more). The difference is based on how one interprets parts of the Book of Revelation. Paul's writing on the Rapture itself is the most evident proof from a theological standpoint.

Akat, I'm not sure if you are saying that you believe the rapture to actually be in the Bible, but I will say again that it is not. The belief comes from someone's interpretation of a certain scripture that says Jesus will appear in the clouds. Nowhere does it go into the great detail that these believers have come up with.

No where does it say that people will disappear from the earth to be taken into heaven. For one thing, it is not possible for a human body to enter the spirit world. One has to die first. These people have completely made up the entire concept of the rapture and it is ludicrous.

What if the Rapture actually occurred, and nobody noticed? In other words, what if the World we live in now, perceived warts and all, is the Heaven that various religions have always contemplated? What if THIS is as good as it ever can gets?

"#170 "sad thing is these assholes pray on the weak, don't know how they sleep at night..."
..."pray" on the weak...
Pun intended? I agree BTW."

guess I'll be shameless and take credit for the Pun (but it was originally a spelling mistake, should have been prey)...

What if THIS is as good as it ever can gets?

If the fundies ever became aware of it, they would lose the will to live. What a shame.

Harold Camping, a little wizened old creep who sat on a stool for 23 hours a day in a California TV station he owned and pontificated on matters scriptural, also predicted the end of the world on a given date in the last century.

He croaked before this could come true, but when a called asked if he could have Camping's car the day after the rapture, the old fart demurred mightily and went back to Praising The Guy Who Died For You. herm

"What if THIS is as good as it ever can gets?"

Life is what you make of it.

I wish more folks concentrated on making THIS a paradise instead of wasting their living days preparing for the afterlife they believe in.

I'm taking bets 1000/1 odds any takers?

"What if the Rapture actually occurred, and nobody noticed? In other words, what if the World we live in now, perceived warts and all, is the Heaven that various religions have always contemplated? What if THIS is as good as it ever can gets?"

Can't be that this is "Heaven."...None of these Muslims running around have 72 virgins and they're eating goats with their left hands.

Rapture Smapter! When will these fools wake up? Religion is the Opium of the masses. Constantine knew it way back when. Makes you think how far we have evolved. . . not much in the last 2009 years.

#179 Everlong> Akat, I'm not sure if you are saying that you believe the rapture to actually be in the Bible, but I will say again that it is not.

We will disagree, then.

E> The belief comes from someone's interpretation of a certain scripture that says Jesus will appear in the clouds.

Paul wrote that Jesus would appear in the clouds, would take His followers from the earth, and that they would be with Him forever. Some people in Paul's day were teaching that Jesus had already returned and they had all missed the boat, so to speak.

E> Nowhere does it go into the great detail that these believers have come up with.

I would agree that the New Testament gives few details. And yes, many who claim to be Bible scholars (some wear the mantle of 'Televangelist') pontificate long and loud on things that the Bible does not say. I have a strange suspicion that it involves money in the form of donor pledges, but then I can be somewhat skeptical at times. ;^)

Religious = Morons, as Zed, Lisa and their theocratic concubines have once again proven.

You cannot verily prove the bible by citing the bible. Reality doesn't work that way.

Good news: We won't have to wait until Dec. 21, 2012.

Bad news: another preacher will be out of a job on May 22, 2011.

Oh, wait. That's good news too. Sorry, don't see a downside here.

"Concubines...."

A past ambition of yours? Do tell---Owner or property?

Apologies to DAPROF for not understanding his post.

NP, Zed. That's one of the problems with forums/postings ;)

Now, if we could get everyone else....(roflol)

--------------------
And I heard that Nov 2, 2010 is another day of infamy...

January 5th 2010 is the day... please send me all your money and I might be able to change the date.. I some "pull" upstairs you know... The money is just so I know you are serious about wanting the date changed, I promise I wont spend it.

send the money in a SASE and I'll send you back a magic ball hair from my nut sac... it has healing powers...

(ps. gorbachov(sp.) is still satan cause of that birth mark he has)

"Bad news: another preacher will be out of a job on May 22, 2011."

Not hardly, Harold predicted September 1994 as the end of the world, yet he still garners a following. Making P.T. Barnum more of a prophet than John the Baptist.

CMON u have got to give us more than 4 hours notice, dude.

Sorry, I need the money fast... err I mean God did not give me much notice!

Comments are closed for this entry.


Drudge Retort

Home | News | Comments | User Blogs | Nooner | Back Page | RSS Feed | RSS Spec | DMCA Compliance | Copyright 2012 World Readable