Welcome to hell Oral.

His brother Rectal Roberts is already there...

Another praise the lord and pass the money plate bites the dust...

Smirky tele-evangelists make me suspicious.

Actually, any evangelist makes me suspicious.

Dead tele-evangelists less so...

Faith Healer

If your body's feelin' bad
And it's the only one you have
You want to take away the pain
Go out walkin' in the rain
You watch the flowers go to bed
Ask the man inside yah head
Your spirit never has to grieve
All yah got to do's believe

The faith healer
The faith healer

All yah got to do is feel
Your body's going to start to heal
Fingertips and holy fire
Everlasting sweet desire
It don't matter what the doctor said
The healer man will sail away
Immortality for two
The miracles, can come to you -The Sensational Alex Harvey Band

Good fucking riddance.

I should bookmark this thread for later when the republicans are giving their "best wishes" for a liberal icon that they despise and the democrats, here, get their panties in a bunch.

*yawn*

He had zero impact or effect on my life. I won't notice any difference in my world

Back in 1987, Roberts told his audience that if he didn't raise $8 million by March God would "call him home." He raised $9.1 million. Then he went on to use a bunch of his school's endowment money to buy himself a new home in Beverly Hills. Totally shameless.

*yawn*

He had zero impact or effect on my life. I won't notice any difference in my world

#7 | Posted by goatman

I don't understand the hatred expressed to this gentleman by some of the posters but then again, maybe, I come from a different perspective--I guess Goatman's response would pretty much summarize my feelings.

Isn't this the same turd who claimed that if he didn't get 10 Million dollars in donations, God would kill him?

This scumbag financed his extravagant lifestyle preying on the desperate, who would gladly hand over their last dollar for a chance to walk/see/hear .....etc.

Fuck you Oral Roberts.

Separating little old ladies from their social security checks is such a godly calling.

Shout it louder. The guy is fucking dead and can't hear you idiots.

This is horrible news. I watched him every Sunday, and dutifully sent my Christian brother any spare cash we had on hand.
May your soul rest in God's eternal grace. May you have the power to descend from heaven, and brutally dismember those that have wished you ill will. In this we pray in God's name.
Amen

Back in 1987, Roberts told his audience that if he didn't raise $8 million by March God would "call him home." He raised $9.1 million. Then he went on to use a bunch of his school's endowment money to buy himself a new home in Beverly Hills. Totally shameless.

#8 | Posted by rcade

Interesting information---if true, then he was just a con and another individual passing through life that should not be respected but actually should be an example of what the rest of us should avoid in our own lives.

i find it funny that his name is Oral Roberts.

Oral Roberts -> Oral Bob -> Oral B. -> FLOURIDE!!??

hmm i smell a conspiracy here haha

"Interesting information---if true,"

It was very well reported and is common knowledge.

Bear in mind that the owner of Hobby Lobby was almost single-handedly responsible for bailing out Oral Roberts University in Tulsa. He helped smooth things over when the school was finally forced to confront the fact that Oral's son (who was running the school) was using school funds to furnish his family's lavish lifestyle.

I haven't shopped at Hobby Lobby since I learned that. It makes me ill to think that I've inadvertendly spent money in the past that's gone to benefit Oral Robert's legacy.

If Roberts hadn't repented I pity him right now.

Listen To Oral Roberts Talk About Sex

#8 | Posted by rcade

Isn't that when he locked himself in the prayer tower?

Why do the bat-shit crazy ones always live so damn long?

Why do the bat-shit crazy ones always live so damn long?

Because only the good die young

Billy Joel

#19 | Posted by Corky at 2009-12-15 04:41 PM

LOL Gee, thanks.

Back in 1987, Roberts told his audience that if he didn't raise $8 million by March God would "call him home." He raised $9.1 million. Then he went on to use a bunch of his school's endowment money to buy himself a new home in Beverly Hills. Totally shameless.

#8 | Posted by rcade

I remember when he went into his "prayer tower" to wait for the devout to send him money, wishing his God would strike his ass with lightning.

No matter the wishes here, he will get what is coming to him by his true master. As will all of us.

He stirred controversy when Time reported in 1987 that his son, Richard Roberts, claimed that he had seen his father raise a child from the dead

No matter the wishes here, he will get what is coming to him by his true master. As will all of us.

woo-hoo

What do you call 2 guys named Bob who like to give head?

It pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. I Corinthians 1:21.

Oral Roberts was exemplary of Christianity Gone South, a rural, anti-intellectual, superstitious form of believe that relies on "magic" to spread it's message.

Unfortunately, it is the basis of much current popular culture Christianity and so-called TV evangelism, which as a perception to outsiders equates with the real thing.

Oral would have done much better to study Reinhold Niebuhr, as did many of his contemporaries, and just stick with the Gospel message.

Now, I know not many here will read the following 1 or 2 pages so that they might have an understanding of the difference, but hey, it's easier that way.

We give up.

What do you usually call them?

I remember my great uncle (who was a staunch baptist, btw) ask, "Have you ever found any money - so much as a dollar - in your bible?" Of course, he was chiding his three sisters who were Roberts' fans. I hope he accepted fully the Lord before he breathed his last.

Who was it not too long ago, here I believe, who said his wife told him not to say anything about a dead person if it wasn't nice? So he said, "So and So is dead, isn't that nice?!?"

Oral Roberts tells of talking to 900-foot Jesus

Oral Roberts tells of talking to 900-foot Jesus

And to think I was content with the Jesus on the 10" high wooden crucifix hanging on my bedroom wall.

Back in 1987, Roberts told his audience that if he didn't raise $8 million by March God would "call him home." He raised $9.1 million. Then he went on to use a bunch of his school's endowment money to buy himself a new home in Beverly Hills. Totally shameless.

#8 | Posted by rcade

"Send me a Private Jet or god will strike me dead"

-Oral Asshole

God; 'Welcome, welcome, I've been waiting for you for a long time. (God reaches over and gives Oral a little noogie). Before we get to the judgement, I just have to ask you one question, 'What was up with that business where if you didn't raise 8 million, I would bring you home'?

Oral; 'Well, my lord, I needed money for a medical school I was trying to start'.

God; 'Ahh Haa Haa, A pentacostal faith healer trying to start a medical school. (God pokes jesus who immediately joins god in laughing)'.

God; 'Ya know Oral, you have given me some good laughs over the years, so I'm not gonna fuck with you too bad. Go over there with everyone else in heaven.

Oral; 'Thank you lord, Praise your holy name.

God; 'Enough of that, off you go'. Oh Oral...uhmmm... one more little thing. If I was the God you preached I was, I would have sent you to hell'. Ahhh HAAHHHH HHHAAAA.....

Back in the early 80's I dated a girl who worked as a receptionist at his office on La Cienega. She was a rather hot hottie with little in the way of evangelical devotion.

The office itself was over the top opulent. The finishes were vaguely Egyptian. There was nothing in the room that hinted this was the office of a good and holy believer. Really quite secular. The bronze sculpted cats would make you think he was a cat worshipper. Not a crucifix anywhere.

You people miss the point. It is not the messanger, it is the message.

It is not the messanger, it is the message.

Both are full of shit. Your point?

And who is the party of hate? I don't like this guy either but what a bunch of hateful assholes

I always wondered why a guy name Oral always was famous for a hand job.

www.bestsermons.net

#28 | Posted by Corky at 2009-12-15 05:28 PM

The guy is fucking dead and can't hear you idiots.

We libs are so much closer to hell, it's not that hard.

Rcade, for you to call someone else shameless just takes the cake. The kind of crap you have done and allowed here is truly shameless.

We can start with you stealing someone else's name to start a website. Then allowing the kind of hate speech liberals and some republican on this site practice to fester and grow.

#42 - speaking from a strictly Christian POV, I will say the same thing about Roberts and agree with rcade on this issue. There are too many evangelists out there raping their congregations in order to live the high life. Christians are not called to this sort of nonsense at the expense of other Christians. Roberts and many other evangelists are shameless.

And another one bites the dust.

Thank you God.

Now, . . . I've been meaning to talk to you about Pat Robertson.

The only other person that I can recall pronouncing anus "a-nuss" is Rocco Siffredi during his amateur bondage porn 'Whipped Cream'. I also believe they may have gone "or-all".

Oral Roberts tells of talking to 900-foot Jesus

Which inspired the band called "MC 900 Foot Jesus"

This one's going out to Oral B...

Now, . . . I've been meaning to talk to you about Pat Robertson.

I imagine the conversation going something like this.

God: *Sigh* You know, Robertson is getting pretty old.

Jesus: Yeah, it might be time to bring him in.

God: But he's so (hands waving above his head) *BLEEEECH*.

Jesus: Send him to hell, just for a little while.

God: Oh, I can't do that. He has been teaching the word, although he's perverted it a bit. Then there's that little thing of predicting disasters that I told him about. I haven't talked to him in years! Still, his intentions are good and his ministry does bring in a lot of converts and help many people.

Jesus: I guess the only thing to do is to leave him there for a few more decades. Maybe he'll loose some crazy.

God: Have you seen what aging does to humans? They don't get LESS crazy as they get older.

#47 | Posted by Axiom

Very Nice! I'm a Christian, but not his kind of Christian.

AXIOM

I imagine the conversation would go more like this:

God: Pat who?

He claimed that Jesus would soon return and would rule along with himself. Obviously he was well into senility then. The world is a better place today. RIP
in hell, Oral.

From 101chairborn...This is horrible news. I watched him every Sunday, and dutifully sent my Christian brother any spare cash we had on hand.

Is that where you learned all your racist hate, foul mouth language and sicko responses?

Oral was a classic example of how to bilk the poor and humor the ill. He did it with such style the average Joe plumber left thanking him for the disservice. A true American icon right up there with Bernie Madhof and Ken Lay.

Buzkil -there's a huge difference between allowing free speech on a website and using religion to play on the fears and hopes of the weak and infirm. Rcade's got nothing to be ashamed of here.

If you want to light into him, take him to task for promoting Java. That's his sin.

Rcade, for you to call someone else shameless just takes the cake. The kind of crap you have done and allowed here is truly shameless. We can start with you stealing someone else's name to start a website. Then allowing the kind of hate speech liberals and some republican on this site practice to fester and grow.

Matt Drudge is a public figure. This site has been running for 11 years and is entirely legal. But if you think otherwise, and the Retort is "truly shameless," why have you been here 13 months?

You have an interesting value system if you think publishing a discussion site for thousands of people is worse than using religion to bilk grannies out of millions to personally enrich yourself. Evangelists like Oral Roberts, Robert Tilton and Jim Bakker are crooks. I'm a web publisher who had a cool domain fall in my lap.

"Oral Roberts, Robert Tilton and Jim Bakker" plus Pat Robertson, Billy Graham, every Pope, Constantine, King James, Mohammad, Akhenaten, the Maya priests ... and the list goes on.

"Religion is all bunk."
~Edison

That was a seriously good read.

#40 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

I've been a Niebuhr fan for a long time, and it happens that Pres Obama is one also.

All of which begs the question why does Jesus hate amputees.

Oral was the FIRST in a long line of multimillionaire, hypocritical tv evangelists.

He showed them all the way to riches.

I remember well seeing him on our black and white tv in the 50's, rolling his white shirt sleeves up and telling his viewers to place their hands on their tv's and pray with him.

What always bothered me the most about all these fellas is how they seldom, if ever preach the actual words attributed to Jesus, and instead spew hate and judgment for others, hellfire and brimstone from the Old Testament, and their pathetic, shameless moneygrubbing.

These pukes have done more to denigrate religion and Christianity than any atheists/agnostics/satanists could ever hope to accomplish.

What would the repug party be without the hairbrained evangelical/fundies?

"What would the repug party be without the hairbrained evangelical/fundies?"

In power.

yeah he did the thing about needing money or he would die...
but he did a lot of good stuff too and the man is dead...........

and now just like the athiestsa and others who have died

he NOW HAS ALL THE ANSWERS.......

thank you woke and mary...

more proof that I am correct in my faith.

Again?

Which faith is that AFK?

In neocon/repugs or evangelicals?

more proof that I am correct in my faith

How do you break the news to a brain-damaged lunatic that he shoved the icepick through his own goddamn eye socket?

#19 | POSTED BY CORKY

Corky, Corky, Corky....

I cannot thank you enough for that.

I thought you musta meant #28, lmao.... but, to each his own.

#13 | POSTED BY 101CHAIRBORNE
"May you have the power to descend from heaven, and brutally dismember those that have wished you ill will. In this we pray in God's name."

Go figure.
As if there's a way to non-brutally dismember someone.

By the way, Chair, you don't wish someone "ill will". You can wish them ill, or have ill will toward them, but you don't wish them ill will. But, given that I understand what you were trying to say, I have to wonder down which drain did "turning the other cheek" go?

I believe there is one time, and one time only, in scripture where Jesus became enraged: the money-changers in the Temple.

How else to describe Oral Roberts?

#42 | POSTED BY BUZKILLER
"Rcade, for you to call someone else shameless just takes the cake. The kind of crap you have done and allowed here is truly shameless.
We can start with you stealing someone else's name to start a website."

Man, Buz, you are REALLY reaching here.

May you have the power to descend from heaven, and brutally dismember those that have wished you ill will. In this we pray in God's name.

Sounds very Viking-like... though I don't see Oral doing much more than flapping his lips in the Halls of Valhalla.

It occurs to me that this may be God's own contribution to the stimulus package.

There are a lot of elderly folks (and others) who will now have a lot more disposable income on their hands.

May they flood the market with that money, purchasing many taxable goods and services.

Ff for THETOM

Good riddance to Bad rubbish

That's what the voters in California said when they crushed gay marriage with their vote.

So God does answer prayers.

Two things come to mind here...

First if you read the Gospels you will find that Jesus saved his greatest condemnation for religious hypcrites.

Second, there is an old joke. You know why Oral Roberts had to give up golf?... Because the holes kept healing over...

I believe there is one time, and one time only, in scripture where Jesus became enraged: the money-changers in the Temple.
Posted by TheTom

You forgot the time when Joesph asked him to finish the table for sale at the market and Jesus missed the nail and bounced the hammer off his left thumb. You fuckers are idiots when it comes to scripture.

Which faith is that AFK?

In neocon/repugs or evangelicals?

#63 | Posted by woke at 2009

nope

knowing that anything you two hate and I dont means that IM on the right track....

Good riddance to Bad rubbish

#72 | Posted by DUMPLING1 at

KEEP these comments and those like them the next time someone like TILLER THE BABY KILLER dies.
we will use them in the face of the sanctamonious bullshit assault when the shoe is on the other foot on a thread like this one.

KEEP these comments and those like them the next time someone like TILLER THE BABY KILLER dies.
we will use them in the face of the sanctamonious bullshit assault when the shoe is on the other foot on a thread like this one.

#78 | Posted by afkabl2

There is huge difference between murder and natural causes but thanks anyway. If you really believed in God you would be rejoicing his entry into heaven..right?

#76 | POSTED BY WISGOD
"You fuckers are idiots when it comes to scripture."

Can I get a side of fries with that irony?

Which "fuckers" are you referring to?

KEEP these comments and those like them the next time someone like TILLER THE BABY KILLER dies

Roberts was a bible-thumping fraud while Tiller provided a medical service. There is no comparison.

involuntary fetal euthanasia. valuable medical service. i'm not glad tiller's dead, no am i terribly sad the roberts is dead. all i can say for both of them, is RIP.

both lived as they believed, not sniping from the background - which is more than i can say for a lot of you who'd dance on their graves.