Plucky pluckers plucked for plucking planks.

What the fuck???

Its guitars fer fucksake!

South American forests are being decimated for Ipe wood that they represent is legally harvested. But if you run the numbers there is no way that the amount of available wood could ever keep up with the demand. All a nod and a wink.

But the incremental amount of wood Gibson uses results in a bust????

Me thinks these agents want to do a mega jam of sorts.

Crisis

#1: Excellent. Perfect example of how to translate a genre of Japanese puns into an English example.

Strng 'em up!

Make 'em face the music!

I'll bet they fret over this!

They'll be strumming a different tune now!

I'll bet that hit a sour note with them!

Maybe they'll pick a different type of wood now...

That's what they get for sticking their neck out...

This could be called "The Great Wood Capo"

They should be careful to not burn a bridge behind them...

I'd tell 'em to shove it up their f-hole....

HAHAHAHA...

Guitar..BRIDGE!

You are very punny!

Goat made me do it! Gotta run!

Some of you people deserve a big KABONNNGGG over the head with a git-box for your terrible puns -- ahem, but not with a Gibson ......

Some of you people deserve a big KABONNNGGG over the head with a git-box for your terrible puns -- ahem, but not with a Gibson ......

A Stradivarius, maybe?

.....the Gibson people must be all strung out over the raid....

.....you have to wonder why the feds orchestrated it......

From the Timber Trades Journal:

Rosewood is prized among guitar makers as a prime tonewood (used primarily in back and sides of guitars) and is sourced from many countries, including India, Brazil, Madagascar and Honduras.

Gibson is part of Greenpeace's MusicWood Coalition, along with rival guitar makers Taylor and Martin, which seeks to increase the availability of traditional woods used by instrument makers that can be FSC-certified.

I'll bet they...woodn't be doing this anymore!

-Frank55

with all the bad guitar players in the world i think plywood should get about the same sound.

If the wood is from protected forests they need to be punished.
I read an interesting article a while back about some work they are doing at Purdue. They believe that the genetically desirable trees are being harvested (particularly Oak, Walnut & Cherry). The trees that grow straight and tall are harvested leaving the tree less desirable trees to re-populate the forest. So they are looking into developing better genetic strains of these trees. It would be interesting to learn whether some of the other countries like Brazil are doing the same thing with regard to the hardwoods native to their countries.

If the wood is from protected forests they need to be punished.
I read an interesting article a while back about some work they are doing at Purdue. They believe that the genetically desirable trees are being harvested (particularly Oak, Walnut & Cherry). The trees that grow straight and tall are harvested leaving the tree less desirable trees to re-populate the forest. So they are looking into developing better genetic strains of these trees. It would be interesting to learn whether some of the other countries like Brazil are doing the same thing with regard to the hardwoods native to their countries.
#23 | Posted by sawdust at 2009-11-20 07:39 PM

Genetic profiling of this type somehow reminds me of how railroads and their insurers find reasons to fire employees with genetic predisposition for carpal-tunnel disease. Some technology has been abused, but the real problem is corporate access and it's entirely self-serving nature. If there were better job opportunities and government protection and management of resources this ugly situation would not involve an American company representing a cultural touchstone.

Goat - I hope this diminishes the progression of deforestation! Would this be good for Norwegian wood?:]

I find it hard to believe that a company like Gibson with its ties to Greenpeace among other eco-nazi groups would be buying up illegal wood... there's something quite strange with this whole deal.

Or maybe they are just hypocrites. I hope the king doesn't tell Lucille, she'd be upset. Either way I'm keeping my Epi 535...

#17

You Mean El Kabong

QuickDraw Mcgraw

boojiboy,

what is Ipe?

Walnut, Maple, Ash, these Northeastern hardwoods can recover from clearcutting in 30 years. Some Western woods take 200 years. Not sure about Tropicals. Madagascar certainly isn't very big and loaded with unique species.

Did the raid include Norwegian Wood?

Gibson made a lot of fine American made instruments. Too bad they sold their soul to the devil. The markers are due.

Or maybe they are just hypocrites. I hope the king doesn't tell Lucille, she'd be upset. Either way I'm keeping my Epi 535...

#25 | Posted by SHEEPLESHEPERD at 2009-11-20 08:50 PM | Reply | Flag: Flag: (Choose)
FunnyNewsworthyOffensiveAbusiv
e

I'm keeping my Elektra

The primary difference between a $800 factory guitar, and a $6000 one with a prestige head stock, is mostly the age of the hardwoods being used. Kiln-dried lumber is is being used faster than they can cure it, and is becoming uber-doober expensive. I can't blame Gibson for going outside of the normal channels to find quality raw material for their product line.

For a guitar--an acoustic guitar especially--tone is everything. The right combination of woods can make all the difference between an instument that either has a quality "voice," or winds up being $800 worth of firewood. If the Fed are going to persue this with a name guitar manufacturer like Gibson, then every private luthier in this country can expect a visit from the wood police.

This really strikes a sour note with me. Looks like the Feds are gonna amp up enforcement.

Whoever is complaining has evidently never played a Les Paul before. I don't care if it's made of ground up kittens. The tone and sustain are unparalleled, never mention the fact that it feels like butter.

...I don't care if it's made of ground up kittens...

"No 'Stairway to Heaven'".

"No 'Stairway to Heaven'".

www.youtube.com

Denied.

So unfair!

Morriss is a meanie.

Funneh with it but mean nonetheless.

Guess Spud aint allowed to Yodel either?

Man, peoples is always repressing Spud's raw, untrained (read that natural) talent!

Electric Kazoo solo?

No?

Dang.

Be Well.

One of the displays at the Rock-n-Roll HoF is (as I remember) the original Les Paul "electric" guitar. It is an accustic with record player pickups attached. Pretty cool.

Letter to Gibson,

Mexico is ready when you are.

Q. How do you make a guitar player stop playing?

A. Put sheet music in front of him.

Q. How do you get a guitar player off of your front porch?

A. Pay him for the pizza.

Q. What do you call a guitar player who just broke up with his girlfriend?

A. Homeless.

As a very small scale luthier I don't know what the hell I'd do if the wood police visited me. I have a few thousand board feet of American and Canadian curly maple and walnut aging in my shop but don't have documentation on most of it since I bought a lot of it over 20 years ago. I do have the receipts for the relatively small amount of cocobolo and rosewood I use for headstock overlays, though. I buy my ebony for fretboards from a guy in Washington state and I hope he has his paperwork in order since all I have are his receipts. I don't think there is much chance of an audit since builders doing less than 50 instruments a year are probably not on their radar.

Q. What do you say to a guitar player who is wearing a suit and tie?

A. The Defendant will rise.

I'm keeping my Elektra

#30 | Posted by lfthndthrds at 2009-11-21 12:13 AM | Reply | Flag: EASIER TO BLOW UP THAN MY PAM ANDERSON DOLL

Feds raid Gibson Guitar Co. . . .

Gibson lays off workers . . .

a tree is saved . . .

children go hungy . .

hope? - - NOPE

change? - - 2010/2012

Q. What do you call a guitar player who just broke up with his girlfriend?

A. Homeless.

As a guitar player I resent that.

That's a drummer joke.

Axe...you and I both know the government is a slow-witted beast and my concern is that when they finally tumble to the fact that Gibson's lumber aquisition policies aren't all that different from any other manufacturer or small luthier, much ado might be made and my concern is that buying a quality instument will then become like buying a new car. Any profit you now make on your instrument will go through a bank first because your buyer will have to finance his purchase with a loan. More rich assholes looking for another free revenue stream by stacking the deck with regulations and tariffs. It's the banks that are driving businesses out of California--the taxes are just the frosting on the cake.

My Goodall Standard that I bought in '95 for around $2200 currently garners in the $6000 range. If his wood supply becomes cost-prohibitive, it would not suprise me in the least if it would cost well over $10,000 to replace my little beauty with the Engleman top and koa back & sides.

You don't build baritones, do you? I'm haunting my local music stores and Ebay in search of that acoustic baritone Tacoma used to make. I don't have another $6000 laying around I can drop on another Goodall.

On a related note, what is the difference between a Gibson banjo and a chainsaw?

The chainsaw has more dynamic range.

An amateur drummer died and went to heaven. He was waiting outside the pearly gates when he heard the most incredible fast and furious drumming coming from within. Immediately he recognized the playing and rushed to ask St. Peter if that was Buddy Rich playing drums inside the gates. St. Peter responded: "No, that's God. He just thinks he's Buddy Rich."

What's the difference between a bull and a blues band?

The bull has the horns in front and the asshole in the back.--From the wall of The Grand Emporium in KC

And I always heard the homeless joke in reference to bass players.

Jimi Hendrix's Gibson Flying V's

Gibson makes a lot of guitars. Also sells a brand of guitars made exclusively from "exotic woods."
hope they were auditing regularly.

I vote you stick with the Elektra too. I got a old elektra from 1980 something that still rocks.

Also play:
B.C. Rich Iron Bird (platnum series)

Black Fender Dreadnaught Acoustic.

Martin&Co cut-a-way neck Acoustic(Dads)

and a Gibson Delta BLues Electric hollow body.

Just bought a lightly used Line6 Tubeworks amphead with a fender half cab packing four 12" speakers. It is GREAT.

Gibson Delta BLues Electric hollow body

I love that guitar, one of my buddies has it. I think my next purchase is going to be a hollow body electric.

while I AM a Gibson man, FUCK GIBSON.. they ruined Opcode and Oberheim!

now where's my 335?

I also have a custom Telecaster that built from a kit but the pickups that came with are total junk. Need to save up get some decent pick ups for it.

Zombie...Ibanez makes a line of hollow bodies that are worth owning and won't kill your bank account.

I'll second the Ibz semihollow, real nice tone and playability for the price

I don't have a Gibson but I did buy a Ibanez roadmaster for $250 in Okinawa, Japan and had someone offer me $1,200 for it. LOL. Nope I ain't selling it so don't bother asking. It's a great guitar that did not cost me $5,000. I use a Zoom 505 pedal with it.

Lonnie

Re: Ibanez -- From Wiki: "Most Ibanez guitars were made for Hoshino Gakki by the FujiGen guitar factory in Japan up until the mid to late 1980s and from then on Ibanez guitars have also been made in other Asian countries such as Korea, China and Indonesia."

Okay and we just had a state visit to China. The next day the feds swoop on Gibson. Apparently the Chinese guitar makers wanted a number done on Gibson and so the WH sicced the wood police on them.

Am I conspiratizing well enough here ???

I don't care what inscrutable foreiner is making them, if it has good tone and intonation for an affordable price, then they're going to find a market for them. I have a laminated neck-through solid body Ibanez baritone (MMM1) that gets the job done. It was made in Korea according to the stamp on the back of the headstock. The only upgrading I thought it needed was a set of Gotohs, as the tuners it came with were unacceptably imprecise. I paid almost half as much for the tuners as I did for the guitar, but the result was exactly what the guitar required.

My simple road rig for that beast is a Boss ME-50 and a Boss EQ-20, pumped through two Fender B25 bass amps. When I crank it, it will vibrate the ribs in your chest.

Well, good for you, Dutch, but the thing is that the federal government for some reason went in and messed up the business of the most rockingest mutherfuckin' guitar company in America and they did not give much of an excuse for it.

While economy is hemorrhaging jobs, these dummies are worried about a few trees.

Hopey and Changey are disappointed.

Grumpy...if Gibson acquired those hardwoods through reputable dealers, then they have nothing to worry about. This story has yet to be completely told.

The crappiest guitar I've ever owned was a Gibson ES175. I couldn't get rid of it fast enough and replaced it with a Gretch Nashville Brian Setzer re-issue. It was everything the Gibson was not. It was the one guitar I sincerly wish I'd never sold, but I had to pay off a hospital bill and a Japanese exec made me an offer for it I couldn't refuse. He sent me a picture of it esconced in a glass case in the lobby of his company in Sapporo along with the 20 or so other beauties he's collected. It's a shame no one will ever play it again.