Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs
Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Deep frying a turkey is, for some, a new Thanksgiving tradition, and so you'll find many "How to Fry a Turkey" videos and PSAs online.

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mysterytoy

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Happy Thanksgiving Ya'all!

I was watching something on the Food Network the other day where a guy made this contraption with a ladder to drop in and lift out the turkey from a fryer.

I thought...too much involved in that.

I'll just make sure I have a fire extinguisher handy!

I'm not cooking this year.

The only thing I have to bring are 7 pies.

You apple pies, Lisa?

I'm a good pie maker. My grandmother taught me how to make the perfect crust. Low gluten flour, pinch of salt. Cut in Crisco (has to be Crisco!). Add ice cold water. Knead no more than 5 times, then roll out.

Guaranteed to be flaky and delicious.

I'm not AN apple pie, but everyone says I make the best.

I'm making three apple, three pumpkin and one mince meat pie.

I have a food saver so awhile ago I bought like 60 dollars worth of apples and make individual freezer bags with the filling in them.

All I have to do is make the crust, cut open a bag of filling, plop it in the crust and right into the oven.

I have about 12 bags left in the freezer.

lol

Hmmm...sounds like a very easy crust recipe.

Will you email me the exact recipe? Mine is good but I'm always willing to try others.

I'm a good pie maker.

What's your favorite? I'm a homemade pecan pie junkie, but people like my 4-berry the best. The filling has sugar, OJ, fresh berries, tapioca, almond extract, and cloves. I think. I should probably find that recipe... need to make it for the fam on thanksgiving.

4 Berry Pie?

That sounds great!!

Will you email me the exact recipe?

Damn, the retort needs a weekly cooking thread just to exchange recipes. Eating good food gets me sort of high. The taste must be tickling the dopaminergic reward pathway in my brain.

Well start one Zombie!

...when you take a vat of high-temperature oil, and drop something heavy into it...

It has nothing to do with how heavy turkey is. Its the moisture content that agitates the oil. The same thing would probably happen if you dropped a glass of water into the vat.

We deepfry one of our turkeys every Thanksgiving. Its really tasty and safe if you do it right. One key is to get a bird no larger than ten pounds.

I just picked up a quart of Apple-pie flavored moonshine from a very reliable source...MMMMM!

Well, maybe I should make some sort of Thursday Night Culinary Thread... I'll give you the recipe when I find it.

Thanksgiving has to be one of my favorite holidays. It's an excuse to make a bunch of food, relax, and be a glutton with the people who are closest to you.

I was watching the Food Network (yes, it drives my husband crazy) and they had this show called Challenge.

Four families had to make a full Thanksgiving dinner.

One was mediteranian I think, one was southern, one was traditional and one was vegetarian.

The mediteranian family won.

However, they and another family deep fried their turkeys and they burnt the crap out of their bird.

But it was so tender and moist on the inside....didn't look anything like that on the outside!! LOL

Who needs an excuse?

That would be great Zombie, thanks!

My favorite pie is one I've ever only had in the family. My grandmother made it. She called it "Cherry Dream Pie". It has cherries, bananas, pecans, and pineapple. I am on the rig and don't have the recipe, but I will try to remember to post the recipe when I get home (the day after thanksgiving). If I forget (and I probably will) email me. I am not on the computer very much when onshore, but I do check email a time or two a week.

I also love regular cherry pie and fresh peach pie with blueberries.

OMGOSH Goatman...I have to have that recipe!!!

We lived in Erie PA for awhile when I was a kid and we had a HUGE cherry tree in our back yard.

I LOVE CHERRIES!

"Thanksgiving has to be one of my favorite holidays. It's an excuse to make a bunch of food, relax, and be a glutton with the people who are closest to you."

What's really cool about it, it doesn't come with that loathsome obligatory consumerism and standardized gift-giving that defines Christmas. It's just a good, big serving of comfort food, as long as in-laws don't show up.

I don't have the recipe in my head, Lisa. Sorry. I think it is 2 c low gluten (< 12 grams gluten per cup) 1/2 t salt, cut in 1/2 c Crisco, stir in 1/3 c cold water, knead 5 times, roll out.

Secret is ice cold water and minimal kneading

That's ok Goatman.

When you get home will be fine.

OMGOSH Goatman...I have to have that recipe!!!

Email me after Thanksgiving. I'll forget otherwise.

Will do Goatman, thanks!

Thanksgiving and Independence day are my favorite holidays. I will be on the rig for Thanksgiving this year. But they do it right -- usually better than whereever I would end up on shore. Last year they had a whole roast pig, crab legs, lobster, four kinds of shrimp, prime rib, and of course the obligatory turkey and all the traditional accoutrements

The mediteranian family won.

Of course! When I was getting "the munchies" fairly regularly, I experimented with a lot of dishes. My buddies and I always enjoyed the Mediterranean ones the best. I blame the olive oil. After I discovered how good it can be if you don't torch it or buy crappy oil, I became a hopeless addict.

As far as Mediterranean dishes go, whoever invented the paella needs should be immortalized with a statue. And the Jews... shit I don't care if they control the world as long as I can eat their food. I must say, though, Persian food is pretty damn good too. Chelo kebab and tah cheen are more addictive than crack.

Thanksgiving and Independence day are my favorite holidays.

I'm with you on that. You get to hang out with your buddies and eat good food or blow shit up. Both are fun enough... In retrospect, it's a miracle I didn't lose any fingers while trying to alleviate my boredom in high school. My great-grandfather worked for a blasting company. I'd be dead if I had the same opportunities to be a moron as my grandfather did. Fortunately, he put those skills to use against the Nazis.

Thanksgiving is just an all-around great holiday when you think about it. It's a feast where people celebrate life with the people closest to them. Everybody needs one of those.

What's really cool about it, it doesn't come with that loathsome obligatory consumerism and standardized gift-giving that defines Christmas...

#19 | Posted by nullifidian

Too bad. Looks then like I'll have to cross you off my Christmas list since you don't like gift-giving.

And here I had planned on buying you a two special gifts this Christmas (besides Palin's book for $4.95). One was one of those Snuggies for men and a Chia Pet as camouflage for the marijuana plants in your house.

(PS -- I threw in the "Snuggie" as a joke 'cause every time I see the dumb commercial where they show that guy with a big grin on his face all cuddled up in his "Snuggie" it cracks me up. I don't know one guy in the world who would be caught dead wearing it.

Thanksgiving is just another day.

Thanksgiving my favorite long weekend of the year - we brine a turkey in equal parts kosher salt and brown sugar for several days beforehand (keeping it iced) and my husband puts it on the smoker the day before Thanksgiving while I tend to all the side dishes - those turkeys disappear before all others as they are soooooooooooooooooooo good!

When frying them, we inject them with garlic juice and a good hot sauce and sprinkle the cavities with hot spices - nothing better - We're extremely careful as peanut oil is very expensive and we like to get our money's worth!

This year we're having deer hunting company - hopefully all it entails is sitting on the front porch and setting our sights while having our morning coffee.

OYSTER STUFFING!

Nanc,

My dad and I want to smoke a turkey this year, but have never done it before. What measurements would you use, for the brine, for say, a 10 pound turkey?

My dad and I want to smoke a turkey this year, but have never done it before. What measurements would you use, for the brine, for say, a 10 pound turkey?
#31 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

Well, first things first. Do you have a backyard incinerator?

Is that a clue not to brine it or smoke it? haha

Joe is gonna be pissed that he won't be able to tell anyone to make sure the turkey is frozen when you drop it into the fryer.

(Hint: It explodes ;) )

It explodes...

#31 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE

www.bbqu.net

I always use these recipes as a baseline and modify as I feel.

That sounds good too Cowboy!

Lots of good recipes out there!

Looks good CowBoy. Thanks.

Here's another Thanksgivig Wish:

sendables.jibjab.com

#31 | Posted by LIVE_OR_DIE - one pound salt (kosher or sea) and one to two pounds brown sugar - cover the frozen bird in a VERY clean small ice chest with the mixture and as it defrosts between now and when you plan to smoke it - turn it a couple of times a day while adding a couple of trays of ice - don't forget to remove the innards before smoking - sometimes we'll put a couple of apples and an onion inside - it takes about 10-12 hours of smoking and then we put the heat (350-375 on the cue or in the oven) to it at the end to get the temp up to 180-200 degrees when the thermometer is put into the breast section. THROW OUT THE BRINE MIXTURE - DO NOT USE TO BASTE BIRD!

If you want it extra smoky, wet your wood chips beforehand.

Has anyone ever tried a Turducken?

I've heard of turduckens -- a turkey, chicken, and duck all cooked together -- but never had one.

Very, very greasy. Proceed with caution.

I pretty much just "cook" the turkey. I really like a good dressing. Pork Sausage, onions, celery, water chesnuts, pecans, regular herb seasoned stuffing (bread), chicken broth.

I am also working on my own chili powder. Trying roasting different dried peppers, cumin, garlic, etc and grinding them in a coffee grinder. Planning on trying some dried chipotle and smoked paprika. It will be interesting to see how all the smoke turns out.

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