So...who, or what, actually has dominion over your allegedly "free will"?

Your philosophically-tenuous sense of "Self"? No.
Wall Street Bankers? No.
Freemasons? No.
Reptoids and their chemtrails? No.

...turns out it's Mr. Bookums - that little guy who's alternately scratching on your leg and visiting the litter box - who really pulls the strings!!!

That is just not true!
Our cats DON'T control us...and I have their permission to say that.....

I'd like to offer my opinion, but Punkin is about to kick my ass.I'm not kidding call 911

Cats, I'm not so sure.

I've seen insurmountable evidence of pussy being controlling...

Cats control humans?

Well, DUH!!!

A buddy of mine owns a cat who dictates the course of his day. I always ask him, "who owns whom?"

Maybe regarding assisted suicide...

What? Other people's cats have to make a distressing meow sound to gain control?

My two are so much smarter...

I had a cat that controlled me right into stuffing her into a pillowcase with a brick.

I had a cat that controlled me right into stuffing her into a pillowcase with a brick.

#8 | Posted by vernon at 2009-07-15 09:44 AM

Leave it to "Bangkok Vern" tp interject his sick fetishes.

This is not news to anyone who lives with a cat...it is their house and they allow us space.

Study: Cats are for Gheys and Lonely Old Women

And the lazy.

In college, we had a cat that would shit in your shoes at night if you pissed him off.

One day we came home and the cash, the stash, and the cat were gone. Damn cat.

Study: Cats are for Gheys and Lonely Old Women

Posted by 101Chairborne at 2009-07-15 11:34 AM | Reply | Flag Has 14 cats

Posted by 101Chairborne at 2009-07-15 11:34 AM | Reply | Flag Has 14 cats

#14 | Posted by Corky at 2009-07-15 11:38 AM

No, everyone knows 101 has no interest in pussies.

Funny, K!

But then, he does return your posts....

Oh, nice Corky!

No, everyone knows 101 has no interest in pussies.

#15 | Posted by kanrei

Bullshit. Have you ever seen him go after Itsy?

Just keeping you awake, lol.

Bullshit. Have you ever seen him go after Itsy?

#18 | Posted by wisgod at 2009-07-15 11:43 AM

Yes, but his sexual escapades do not concern me.

First night I slept at my gfriend's place, her cat pissed on all of my clothes...went home with a borrowed t-shirt, sweatpants and a bag full of piss-smelling clothes...ended up marrying her, the gfriend that is.

I had a cat in college that used to piss in my bookbag when it was pissed at me. It never once pissed on anything else of mine, nor on any of my room mates' things, but my backpack got it like 7 times.

Cats suck

My landlady when I was 21 had a cat that used to sneak into my apartment (basement w/small busted window) because before I moved in, the apt was essentially his. I used to come home and find him sleeping in my bed which was set up sort of loft like having converted the bar to a platform. Usually I'd have to go up to their kitchen, grab some food and bribe him to get down. ONe day I came home late and partied out to find him in his usual position. I lost my cool and pulled the entire mattress down.

The next day I found a big dump in my basket of recently cleaned laundry.

The best story I have is my two current cats. When one wants to go outside and I won't open the door, he goes over the other, smacks her until she hisses, and then goes to wait by the door. If I don't get up within five minutes to let him out, he does it again. HE has turned her into his doorbell.

All I want from cats is mutual indifference.

I will simply quote the oft-repeated saying of people and their pets:
"Dogs have owners. Cats have staff."

Carlin explains which is superior between a baby, puppy and kitten.

my only other cat story

I was moving from the Silicon Valley to Austin in the fall of 1983, driving a rental truck and towing my Alpha Romeo Spyder, with Smudge the cat by my side.

We stopped in La Hoya at a motel for the night and I snuck Smudge into the room. Later I went for a walk on the beach, came back and went to bed. In the morning, Smudge was nowhere to be found.

I looked and looked for hours, informed the motel, called that animal shelter, even went into a posh California-y pet shop nearby, all to no avail.

I figured the cat must have gotten out the door without my notice when I went to the beach, and I was on a schedule, so I finally left my info with everyone and took off for Austin.

About a month later I got a phone call from the posh pet shop.

Seems that the motel had contacted them a day or so after I left because the next occupant of the room I had used complained about noise and they had subsequently found Smudge in the ventilation system.

They said he was kinda poorly, so they had taken him in and given him a great spot in he shop, that everyone loved him and that he had gained weight.

They flew him to me in Austin (no charge!?) and when I got him off the plane, not only was he groggy from the drugs and weighed about twice what he used to, but he was really pissed at me, apparently for taking him away from the pet shop, and didn't forgive me for months.

Which is my story about the cat that got off in La Hoya.

We once had a Cat under our Deck. It's Dead. End of story.

Which is my story about the cat that got off in La Hoya.

Where is La Hoya?

Did you mean 'La Jolla', Corky?

Where is La Hoya?

Is it near Oscarville?

Yeah, I musta been thinking of Oscar. The cat spoke Spanish, not me.

I for one,welcome our new feline overlords.

"I for one,welcome our new feline overlords."

You just got a treat for posting that, didn't you....

Cats are easy to control. A laser pointer is all it takes. Scotch tape on their paws is very amusing too.

Yeah, I musta been thinking of Oscar. The cat spoke Spanish, not me.

#35 | Posted by Corky

Who must not be confused with Toonces, the cat who could drive a car.

Yeah, I musta been thinking of Oscar. The cat spoke Spanish, not me.

#35 | Posted by Corky

Who must not be confused with Toonces, the cat who could drive a car.

Sorry if the joke was as bad as it appears. La Hoya? Oscarville? I knew Corky meant La Jolla and will refrain from making bad jokes in the future.

The only cat I ever liked was Felix. I loved that show as a kid -- Felix, the Professor, Master Cylinder (didn't get the joke back then) Poindexter, Rock Bottom, etc.

The only cat I ever liked was Felix.

You don't remember Courageous Cat and the Peter Gunn theme?

Cats control us? My foil helmet is useless to me now.

They lose all control after a corn cob and turpentine treatment.

"My foil helmet is useless to me now."

Fruit on the other hand ...

You know why cats leave their victims on your doorstep? Because they want to show that although you are bigger than them they can do something that you can't do.

My favorite cat was one that just showed up at Granddad's farm. My brother said he had been seeing him out in the fields for a month before he finally came up to the barn one day (I guess he desired loyal subjects). He was a very rare breed, a full blooded Birman. When he felt like lounging around he would stick out his dick like a dog does, even though he had apparently been neutered long before - he was still macho even without balls. One time when I hit a rabbit while driving I could tell that it had jumped and hit his head on the bumper of my 1975 LTD and I knew he would not be all squashed in the guts. I stopped and picked up the rabbit and brought it to the farm to give to Big Kitty. I slit its belly and let him have it. Not long after that the only thing left was a piece of intestine. That bad mofo had probably killed rabbits on his own in the fields. You could tap on the roof of a pickup and he would jump all the way up there from standing flatfooted. He would run and leap off this small cliff to see how far he could go across the road below. Too bad he got hit by a car, but I buried him with a nice piece of a broken headstone over the site so the hound dogs would not dig him up.

#45 | Posted by Zatoichi

The plastic lids for CD/DVD spindles work well as protective headcover, too:

We're not allowed to have dogs in my building. We're allowed to have cats. My friend's like, 'Why don't you get a cat?' I'm like, 'Why don't I just start kissing dudes, too, alright? Why don't I do that? Just go all the way with that one.' You can't be a single guy with a cat, alright? It just looks bad: you're either gay or you're a villain.

~ John Caparulo

.. That bad mofo had probably killed rabbits on his own in the fields. You could tap on the roof of a pickup and he would jump all the way up there from standing flatfooted. He would run and leap off this small cliff to see how far he could go across the road below. Too bad he got hit by a car, but I buried him with a nice piece of a broken headstone over the site so the hound dogs would not dig him up.
#47 | Posted by grumpy_too at 2009-07-15 03:05 PM

Very touching. Cats are probably my favorite co-habitational pet. They crap in a small box and bury it, eat relatively little and require a relatively normal amount of attention. Plus, they eliminate pests - a mouse hole is a kitty playstation.

One of my favorite memories is when I was in my early teens grandmother made a rare summer visit. We've always had extensive gardens and the cats enjoy prowling for insects and birds. While my grandmother and mom were enjoying coffee on the patio I was weeding the iris bed until I heard a blood-curdling scream - so I raced around the house to the back patio. One of the cats had brought a live snake and presented it to grandmother - she's was a no-nonsense person who couldn't be rattled, but in this case had become so freaked out by a harmless garter snake, coffee splattered about and mom was laughing hysterically. I snickered invisibly as I released the reptile into a neighbors yard. The cat immediately set about bringing more tributes to her. This same cat would hunt squirrels and leave only their heads at the door.

My current big guy is incredibly vocal - I've got to get video of him talking to moths and mosquito hawks. It's adorable, unless the translation actually is "I will eventually kill you horribly."

As for the "control humans" idea - I saw the last ten minutes of an incredible interview on Charlie Rose last night regarding neurology, memory and neurological re-assignment after brain impairment. The elaborately named Indian doctor described "mirror neurons" which enable face recognition to couple with emotional memory and a backup parallel pathway, explaining a number of disorders and therapies that bypass the elaborate Freudian explanations. People surviving a stroke regaining 1/3 more of their motor functions on the debilitated half of their body, phantom limbs being massaged and autistic brains learning empathy.

Perhaps different animals have different ratios of hemispheric mirror neurons? Cats and dogs appear to rely on them for much of their human interactions.

#50 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2009-07-15 04:46 PM | Reply | Flag: Ghey

"killed rabbits on his own in the fields"

Max used to drag his rabbits into the house and then he'd leave a hind quarter in the pantry for me. He loved rabbits.

I guess if you are a pussy, cats will control you.

#50 | Posted by redlightrobot at 2009-07-15 04:46 PM | Reply | Flag: Ghey

#51 | Posted by 101Chairborne at 2009-07-15 04:47 PM

Wow. Obvious flag too difficult to finger on your own?

The elaborately named Indian doctor described "mirror neurons"...

The elaborately named Indian doctor described "mirror neurons"...

I believe you are referring to V.S. Ramachandran.

"Cats and dogs appear to rely on them for much of their human interactions."

Mirror neurons primarily help an animal interact with conspecifics, but since evolution tends to conserve structures which work particularly well, some of the function may be retained between species. Wouldn't surprise me a bit. A cat's mewling may be annoying, but it may also recruit at least some of the brain's population of mirror neurons, too...hence the sympathetic pet owner scurrying to go get food...
#55 | Posted by Zarathustra at 2009-07-15 05:53 PM

That's the man. Very interesting body language.

I instantly extrapolated a means to android a cat-shape for dangerous or delicate medical needs patient therapies using this data. Also, what I meant about different hemispheric concentrations of mirror neurons wasn't mentioned, I just assume that would be the case in all similar neural mechanisms of animals.

I'm fascinated with this being a possible means to "ESP for the common man". To extend the sympathetic sense directly from another body seems natural and socially obvious, and mirror neurons placed specifically for this purpose appears to be common anyhow. Perhaps this is what makes a better teacher - the concentrations and regular use of frontal cortex mirror neurons?

The most intriguing data was that certain blind people could subconsciously still "see" and perform complex tasks involving visual acuity. This implies that a hypnotized person could perform nearly anything without their consent or specific knowledge. Maybe this is an avenue of actionable programming and psychological therapy that has been exploited unknowingly as well?

I'll bet THC either greatly enhances or dramatically interferes with this process. I must download that interview.

Pussy has been controlling my mind since I can remember.

But really, it was fun as teenagers to put a cat in a bag and blow our bong hits into it.

Then let the cat come out and find its kibble.

Perhaps this is what makes a better teacher - the concentrations and regular use of frontal cortex mirror neurons?

Wider-ranging recruitment of frontal lobe neurons in general probably makes for a better teacher...but the degree to which one is "tuned in" to the function of their mirror neurons could only help, too (not all mirror neurons are located in the PFC).

The most intriguing data was that certain blind people could subconsciously still "see" and perform complex tasks involving visual acuity.

That's a phenomenon known as "cortical blindness" - the primary visual cortex is damaged, but the eyes (and much - if not all - of the input leading to the eyes) remain intact.

The person cannot "consciously" see a stimulus, but the sensory data is still being routed through "lower" structures in the brain (thalamus, etc).

Someone suffering from cortical blindness could not consciously report seeing you hold a ball if your hand is in their blind-spot...but if you act like you are going to throw said ball at the subject, he/she will probably dodge out of the way!

The sensory modality of sight is routed through various pathways (several of which are biologically ancient), but only one "destination" for said data results in consciousness of the image.

Now back to the subject of cats/pussy/your preferred nomenclature...

My cat Pele catches bats in mid air... he looks all lethargic then a bat will swoop too low and BAM its a flapping mouse burger. He caught a Brown and Black one so far this year.

My cat Pele catches bats in mid air..

Watch out for rabies

#59 - Sweet. Somehow I don't think you got that one from cuteoverload.

#52 - Zatoichi, I was hoping to hear if Max had killed his own rabbits. That was kind of him to give you a tasty treat. He might have felt like you were almost an equal! You were lucky to have your years of bondage under his rule. During the short 1-2 years that I was a part of Big Kitty's life he owned me but he was my friend also. I would ask him if he wanted to go for a walk and he and I and the blue tick would go hiking on the mountain together.

#60 - Damn, that is awesome. Never heard of that before. I hope Pele will not try for hummingbirds next.

"I was hoping to hear if Max had killed his own rabbits."

One night The Goddess was out at my place. We had just turned out the lights when there were rabbit screams in the bedroom. "What's that?" she shouted. "It's just Max killing a rabbit." "Well aren't you going to get up and do something?" I actually had to get out of bed, retrieve the partially skinned rabbit and eject it from the house. Max followed promptly.

Max got a lizard once that got a good grip on his tongue. Funniest damn thing I ever saw. Lizard got away, too.

from the Guinness book -

The world's best mouser was tortoiseshell cat, Towser, April 21st, 1963 to 20th March 1987. In her lifetime she caught 28,899 mice, plus numerous other unfortunate creatures such as rats & rabbits. Towser worked for the Glenturret Distillery. A statue has been erected in the distillery grounds to honour Towser.

Towser was what a cat is supposed to be housecats on the whole are worthless.

Signed a Dog Person

who here did not know this to be true? it's so obvious.

One day a tame Florida Panther walked up and sat down by my side. I reached down and started to stroke his head.

Damned if this critter didn't lean against my leg and start to purr.

Yes, a real genuine contented purr.

It was one of the strangest cat experiences I've ever had.

One day a tame Florida Panther walked up and sat down by my side.

Tame or not, I'd shit my pants if a panther sat down by me.

GOATMAN

The panther didn't scare me. I just wasn't sure what would happen if I stopped petting him.

A little later I went into the lady's house and there was a full grown lioness stretched out on the couch.

Fast asleep.

Her husband had a three-legged black leopard that he took for walks on a leash late at night.

I lived in a very interesting neighborhood . . . out in the country obviously.

After that little pussycats were a piece of cake.

Cats are for Gheys and Lonely Old Women -- #11 | Posted by 101Chairborne

Phoenix,
I don't know why, but I like you. I saw you had cats and actually felt bad about infering you were a lonely old woman.

Phoenix, I don't know why, but I like you. -- #73 | Posted by 101Chairborne

Yeah, yeah, I bet you say that to ALL the 350-pound mixed-race trannies with dominatrix fetishes.

Did I say "like"? I meant LOVE! Grrrrrrrrr!

Loved cats my whole life but as soon I had the kids, no thanks.

One tabby lived 22 years. Another Maine Coon about the same.

Crisis

#76 | Posted by CrisisStills at 2009-07-16 10:03 AM | Reply | Flag Gayrod

My cat Pele catches bats in mid air..

Watch out for rabies

#61 | Posted by bruceaz

I'm still too worried about swine flu to worry about rabies :) been vaccinated for rabies anyway years ago.

Wiki says that a cat can kill a cobra. Can a cat kill a rattlesnake?

I don't know Grumpy but I wouldn't want to be close enough to find out.

"Wiki says that a cat can kill a cobra."

Still, it's not a good idea to give them a can of malt liquor.

i'm pretty sure our cats don't control us - i'll be back after i get my clawedy mewnet some packed salmon and tell you.