Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs
Saturday, July 04, 2009

Alaska's governor Sarah Palin resigns, dooming her presidential pipe dream.

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On vacation, heard this, typed it in...ande, of course, it's elsewhere on the Retort (earlier and already much commented upon) at www.drudge.com

Paul Begala's insight (obviously critical of Palin), in "Sarah Palin Turns Pro":

I wish Hunter S. Thompson had lived to see this.

As Hunter said, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro." Sarah Palin makes Mark Foley, the congressman who sent filthy emails to pages look almost normal. She makes David Vitter, the senator who was hanging out with hookers, look almost boring. She makes Larry Craig, caught hitting on a cop in a men's room, look almost stable. She makes John Ensign, the senator who was having an affair with a staffer, look almost humdrum (and compared to the rest of the GOP whack-jobs, he is). And she makes Mark Sanford, the governor with the Latin lover, look positively predictable.

It was an almost impossible mission, but in resigning from office with 17 months to go in her first term, Sarah Palin has made herself the bull goose loony of the GOP.

Let's stipulate that if there is some heretofore unknown personal, medical or family crisis, this was the right move. But Gov. Palin didn't say anything like that. Her statement was incoherent, bizarre and juvenile. The text, as posted on Gov. Palin's official website (here), uses 2,549 words and 18 exclamation points. Lincoln freed the slaves with 719 words and nary an exclamation; Mr. Jefferson declared our independence in 1,322 words and, again, no exclamation points. Nixon resigned the presidency in 1,796 words -- still no exclamation points. Gov. Palin capitalized words at random - whole words, like "TO," "HELP," and "AND," and the first letter of "Troops."

Gov. Palin's official announcement that she is resigning as chief executive of the great state of Alaska had all the depth and gravitas of a 13-year-old's review of the Jonas Brothers' album on Facebook. She even quoted her parents' refrigerator magnet. (Note to self: if one of my kids becomes governor, throw away the refrigerator magnet that says: "Murray's Oyster Bar: We Shuck Em, You Suck Em!") She put her son's name in quotations marks. Why? Who knows. She writes, "I promised efficiencies and effectiveness!?" Was she exclaiming or questioning? I get it: both! And I don't even know what to make of a sentence that reads:

*((Gotta put First Things First))*

Ponder the fact that Rupert Murdoch's Harper Collins publishing house is paying this, umm, writer $11 million for a book. Ponder that and say a prayer for Ms. Palin's editor.

I'm no latter-day Strunk & White, just a guy who was struck by Palin's spectacularly rambling and infantile prose. It bespeaks a rambling and infantile mind. But perhaps not. Perhaps this is all a ruse. Perhaps Gov. Palin wants us to believe she's an intellectual featherweight who is slightly shallower than an actor on High School Musical. Maybe she's trying to throw us off the trail.

Naah. A lot of people thought that about George W. Bush. He couldn't be so block-headed, they said. He couldn't be as childish and churlish as he came off. Oh yes he could. And so, too, might Ms. Palin be as vapid and puerile as her inane statement suggests.

We will know. In the fullness of time (and I predict, not much time) we will know. Again and again in her statement, Gov. Palin returned to the nettlesome ethics inquiries that have been visited upon her since she signed on to be John McCain's running mate. No doubt they are annoying. But does anyone believe that's why she's resigning? No, there's more to this story. And Ms. Palin's resignation only increases the chances that we will all know the rest of the story soon. Or, as she might put it:

We will all KNOW the "rest of the Story" *((SOON!))*
www.huffingtonpost.com


Loo-ooo-zaaaa-her

Big Fat Loser
Intellectual Snoozer
Narcissistic Nazi

The mean girl on what she sees as being on the "A" List has resigned from high school cheerleading.

Don't worry. She'll want back on soon.

"The mean girl on what she sees as being on the "A" List has resigned from high school cheerleading."

Ah, yes, the rigors of cheerleading. Comparable to governing a patch of frozen dirt.

Didn't Sarah! say something in her speech yesterday about asking her kids (as she planned on moving to bigger and better things) if they [paraphrasing here] "would you rather I help ALL the children of the world than just the children of Alaska?" -- or something similarly idiotic.

What's next, a glove, Neverland Ranch North, and dancing lessons for your savior, righties?

The only Palin-For-President pipe dream was by Democrats hoping she'd actually run.

My not-so-farfetched guess: a phone-in show on The 700 Club, all about how Jeebus doesn't want you to abort brain-damaged fetuses. If only Barbara Bush had called her in time. herm

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