After I had inserted all my junk in her trunk, she turned to look at me and said, "Wow! That's the most junk I've ever had in my trunk!"

the end.

"I'm surprised" I told her for it was one of the biggest trunks I've seen this side of D.C.

Awwww, C'mon, Nanc, you've a better imagination than that, surely!

okay...once upon a time.

the end.

then comes the sequel...

You can change the direction of the story, Nanc...it's kinda like...the point.....

LOL! Part II so quickly?

Good one, Phan!

Hope that's not a recurring theme, Nanc....

we're losing steam on this story. C'mon Nanc add something to the story.

Give it time, Brotha Phan...post a music thread....

I followed her to the outskirts of town. She was a fast driver but my hybrid was up for the challenge and I hung right in there. I lost her though when she took a right on the 290 and I couldn't cut the lane fast enough. Oh well.. I had bigger fish to fry that night.

because she was doing eighty in a twenty-five - even the speed of light couldn't catch her.

Speaking of fishy...the whole thing stank. Like a big ol' Red Snapper caught on a rod it just couldn't get awaqy from...

There ya go, Nanc!

*correction to #14*

"Speaking of fishy...the whole thing stank. Like a big ol' Red Snapper caught on a rod and couldn't get off...

okay, so i was really going a hundred and twenty five when i saw the lights in the rear view mirror on the salt flats and because i had no license, had to switch seats with my b/f...

oh sure it was a successful save - desperation and the thought i'd NEVER have a license if caught kicked in and the officer asked, "do you have any idea how fast you were going?" my b/f, "um, no."

His name was Chevy... Chevy Space and he lived a little south of Stump Jump County

"You could blow a Rod at those speeds"
the officer said...

Dang! No one on here tonight? (Beside us?)...Aw, shucks..it's a threesome!

no, actually his name was chevy stepside and he was about '79 - why the hell else would they make the speedo meter go that high?

surely we're not going to look like the calvin klein billboard? i WILL NOT be the creamy filling...

I told the officer, "If I had wanted to live, I would have died. But I didn't care anymore, so instead of trying to swerve to avoid the oncoming Oscarmobile, which would have slid me off the cliff onto the tops of the Sequoias below, I slammed on the gas and hit the wiener....

Instead I blew my lid! Don't you sumbitches have anything better to do on a Friday night?

some people have dates on friday evenings, my date went to p/u our daughter from summer camp...he's a great date and good father. i'm taking him camping tomorrow night. i hope no one hears him scream...

Hiya, Cork! Nice add to...

LOL@ Corky!

I hate that frigin' weiner!Although everytime I see it I say yell there's the weiner! BWahahaha

i hope no one hears him scream...

#27 | Posted by nanc

Naughty, naughty girl!

"His screams were muffled by the sound of the chainsaw that was cutting through the tree, next to his head"...

...but her screams became hysterical when she started reading this awful thread...

Yo, Bill=O...help straighten it out, man....the premise is solid....as rock solid as my junk, in fact...

Hey, Bill...post a music thread, if ya don't like this one....

How about "Anarchy" as a theme? I'm warming up to the idea.....

.....at that moment the clippers snagged, so he said "fuck it" and just sheared a mohawk onto his head.

The British punk movement was formed...

oh fiction! i thought you said, "fraction"! i missed his head with the chainsaw by 1/4 inch.

he hates when i use the chainsaw inside the vehicle...

LOL, Nanc....but he likes it outdoors? ^_^

#36...Good one, Jak!

#39 | Posted by American1st

yes, i have a reputation as a "stumpbuster"...broke the window out of my ford trying to yank one out of the ground, but only after she bucked a few times. oh, hell yes it was worth it. i ain't lyin'.

LOL! Ya gotta watch gettin' slack in the chain, Sweetheart! It'll whip steel through the backglass in a flash!

BTW...I R Hillbilly...and proud uv it!

Nulli...waiting on the music thread, brotha....

I just got back from the top of the derrick. Last month we had a terrible accident (fortunately no one got hurt) where the driller ran the top drive into the crown. Fucked things up badly. We just installed a third fail-safe device to ensure it won't happen again.

When I was 12 YO I might have liked riding a work basket 170 feet up and stepping out over 5 feet of open space to climb over a hand rail. I'm too old and fat for this sort of shit now. (cue monteboor)

But we got 'er done! The roughnecks are bolting the apparatus in now and I'm going to have to go back up in a few minutes to calibrate it.

Be safe, Goatman....hell, I was up about 25 ft today (without gear) and couldn't stop the knees from knocking ....completely....I used to work 4 storys wiothout harness....no more!

...and we're back from our commercial break.

no, i only recall being that high.

yes, goatman -

be swafe.

methspud

....I used to work 4 storys wiothout harness....no more!

Very strict safety rules here. More than 2 meters off the ground a safety harness and lanyard are required. So yes, at 170 feet, I've got it on!

Just found out the fabricated bracket that holds the proximity switch is an inch too short. Welder has to go back up and modify before we can procede. Good time to get a bite. I think there are fried oysters on the menu. I hope so. I love 'em.

#49 | Posted by goatman

raw oysters better.

C'mon! Back up:

His junk in my tunk? I cringed at the smirk on his face when he said it, but his slim waist and deep, black eyes held a hint of menace...or playfulness?

raw oysters better.

I agree, but they don't bring them. Only once, two Christmases ago did they bring them in. 300 lbs for ~70 people. They were gone by that night.

Suddenly my mobile phone rang.

That ring tone... Joe. Yeah, it was Joe. And a call from Joe could only be bad news.

"Your cover's blown buddy! Evac in 10 minutes! We are homing in your mobile signal!"

"IS THIS NECESSARY? I think I am about to get laid.."

"They activated the ninja squad to getcha Boy. Off your butt! NOW!"

Oh boy... here we go again....

Whatever you add to the story, please use BOLD so we can see through the off-topic posts.

Thanks.

raw oysters better.

Maybe better than fried oysters, but with mostly all men eating 300 pounds of raw oysters they'd have to fly in a caseload of salt peter too. Otherwise they'd be chasing each other all around the rig.

A1

OK, I've been thinkin' of something that would be fun. Here's what I came up with...I'm going to start a story, and each poster who cares to, will add his/her part to it, as they see fit. I know not where this story will end up, only where it begins. If there is enough participation, I may copy and paste the gist of the thread into a summary at the end of it. Leave your hate at the door, and have some fun, folks. Try to make it as funny as possible...my reason for that is that I love to make folks laugh, more than anything! Here we go!

Great idea. Fun too. It was a slow night so just because there wasn't a lot of participation this first time, don't give up. Try your story idea again next week and see if it catches on.

"Who was that, Honey?"

"Just some idiot on the phone, luv. Some guy who calls himself Joe and talks silly. Keeps calling me and pretends he and I are some kind of international spies."

"Do you HAVE TO indulge him? You know your doc said.."

"I know what he said luv. But when I was in the loony bin, Joe was always there for me. He was my buddy. I can't just hang up, you know."

"Sure... whatever... let me change into something more ... comfortable. Be right back..."

OK... load the gun... load the gun... good... FUCK... one bullet missing! Joe always said "trust nobody!"

You whore.... just wait till you get out of the bathroom.

Is the loony bin story a cover? Are they really spies? Or is everyone a psycho?

The story can go either way!

Same bat time, same bat channel!

Goatee! Add something!

#56 | Posted by CalifChris

the night the rig shuddered...it was a dark and stormy night...

So... you guys are such awesome intellects, playing this game is beneath you?

LOL... Dullards.

It was better than the awful "muzak" threads. Thank you America1st.

Where do you want it?" I asked. "In my trunk", she said, pointing at the ass-end of her car "put every last ounce of it in my trunk"...

she then got a glassy eyed look and moved her eyes skyward as if to look toward the heavens and she said
"OF course it cant compare to the size of the artist formerlly known as bushlover two...(SIGH)...I dont think I could ever match that piece of burning love manhood",..she said as her lips got moist and her hands began to shake as she could even feel a little moisture begin to accumulate from her
pulsating pink pubic pleasure palace as she continued..." and if the enourmous size wasnt enough, he was nonstoppable. I CRIED OUT that I couldnt keep up with him but to no avail as he was REEDY To go again and again and again....

No, Tosser, thank you! You've won top honors for this thread so far! Thanks for posting, and please continue...I can't wait to see how it ends...

she could even feel a little moisture begin to accumulate from her
pulsating pink pubic pleasure palace

LOL! Good line, AFKABL2

I just give the truth.........

well maybe it was "STRETCHED" a little.

ah...another pun.....

ring ring... damn it... Joe again...

"Yeah?"

"You ready boy? My chopper's 5 minutes away. Bad guys are 5 and a half minutes away! Git on your damn roof NOW!"

"Joe... there is something I gotta tell you... I got a bimbo in the bathroom. I think she knows something. She stole a bullet from me gun."

"She WHAT??? You know what you have to do! Then get on the roof!"

Suddenly bathroom door bursts open... nekkid bimbo, leaps at me at cheeta speed and knocks gun outta my hand. My crazy-pills go flying in another direction.

I close my eyes. This is it. Never thought it would end like this....

"I WANT YOUR BABY!!!"

wha....? Right now?

I have created enough crap... please someone take over for a bit and create further confusion from where I left off. LOL

And please use bold-type if you can, Thanks.

...suddenly bathroom door bursts open... nekkid bimbo, leaps at me at cheeta speed and knocks gun outta my hand. My crazy-pills go flying in another direction.

I close my eyes. This is it. Never thought it would end like this....

"I WANT YOUR BABY!!!"

wha....? Right now?

#67 | Posted by Tosser at 2009-06-20 01:41 PM

Was the nekked bimbo a blonde? You forgot to say.

Was the nekked bimbo a blonde? You forgot to say.

Add to the story and make her a blond if you like.... though blonds usually can't move with "cheeta like speed".

The point of all additions to the story is to make the addition halfway convincing and smooth. Even if you have to take the story in another direction, you should do it keeping in mind what has been written before.

It's a very nice game. I used to play it in school with my mates. Usually some girl ended it in such a way, I nor anyone else could continue. LOL

halfway convincing and smooth. Even

well there is little if ANY doubt that my contribution was convincing....

#64 | Posted by American1st

it never ends...

my apologies for being absent most of the day - was busy canning pickled green tomatoes and making a meal fit for my man! tomorrow IS father's day, but tonight it's nancpop night...rrrrrrr...

okay - how about someone start a saturday night satire thread? we'll begin with this potus telling iran to STOPPIT!

Add to the story and make her a blond if you like.... though blonds usually can't move with "cheeta like speed".

- Tosser

It's not because blondes can't run fast, it's only because you're always holding them down and won't let them get away. lol

tonight it's nancpop night...rrrrrrr...

#73 | Posted by nanc

LOL! I dunno what a Nancpop is, but if it's what I'm thinkin' it is...you go, girl!

nancpop would be my husband. he's a fox like me.

My whole collection of heavy metal music and a six pack, gone just that fast!

I speed dial Joe's number...

"Joe, I can't make it to the roof... she wants a baby.. now".

"Wha? Right now?"

My words exactly. I always though of Joe as my older twin.

"Give the bitch your phone, kid!"

"It's for you..."

"Hello?"

I see my lady's expression change and the color draining out of her face. Joe has that kinda effect on the ladies....

So NOBODY here can add where I left off? LOL

Nobody?

I declare then that I am the winner of this game.

Thanks again to America1st.

The whole point of the game was, to have fun.

I write something... and you write something in return, trying to outwit me, making the story more and more fantastic, ridiculous, funny, or exciting. Turning it into a porno is too easy, so don't even try.

You are supposed to twist the story in such a way as to make it harder for me to add to it.

Too bad that in this thread, all you guys did was make smart-ass comments.

Thanks for playing.

Too bad that in this thread, all you guys did was make smart-ass comments.

This is the Retort.

Smart-ass comments are our stock in trade.

/Except fer the resident Rtards who specialise in Dumb-ass commentary.

^_^

Be Well.

/Yes, enjoying meself immensely ta fer askin'.

Potato! I challenge YOU to end this story from where I left off!

You and me bro. To the bitter end!

Potato! I challenge YOU to end this story from where I left off!

You and me bro. To the bitter end!

Sorry, Tosser old bean but Spud has got to make like a baby and "head out" now.

While it may not look like it Spud is actually at werk at this very moment and all this blogging has left Spud with a load of shite to do afore taking off fer the night.

Got to admit today was one of the funner days Spud ever had at the old Tort.

Luff this freakin' place.

Warts and all.

Be Well.

/To all and sundry: The Tater o' Doom wishes each and every single Drudgie a fond farewell and good night.

//As Darth Tater do, exiting the Deliriously Rambunctious Drudge Retort
stage left.

"I WANT YOUR BABY!!!"

wha....? Right now?

My words exactly. I always though of Joe as my older twin.

"Give the bitch your phone, kid!"

"It's for you..."

"Hello?"

I see my lady's expression change and the color draining out of her face. Joe has that kinda effect on the ladies...."

..............................

As she held the phone and listened for a minute, she suddenly threw it down on the floor with a look of disgust.

"Joe actually thought I wanted him over you, my big Pakistani hunk of a man."

With only minutes to spare, we could hear the helicopter overhead. So, tossing her long natural blond hair over one shoulder she proceeded to grab my arm and pull me into the outer room and opened the door to a closet.

"Hurry, we don't have much time, my love, but this closet has a hidden trap door on the floor which leads to a secret hallway and a secure room where they will never find us."

I let her lead me through the trap door to the room where we were able to escape unseen. We spent the next 5 days hidden in the secret room which had been stocked with delicious food and drink.

9 months later Tosser was a proud papa.

The end.

Okay, Tosser, I finished your ongoing story (starting with your post #54?) and included the natural blonde you always talk about. Hope your happy now.

Okay, Tosser, I finished your ongoing story (starting with your post #54?) and included the natural blonde you always talk about. Hope your happy now.

hahahahaha... That was SO lame, it was GOOD!

LOL... well done.

I declare CalifChris the winner! She ended it when nobody else could. LOL

Everyone wasn't a psycho. Everyone was just horny. And Joe was a filthy-lecher.

Oh, and the spy stuff seemed to be for real and the loony bin was a cover story. LOL

Classic. Calf-Chris did a great job. I can't continue without making scrambled eggs out of the whole thing, she ended it splat.

Or perhaps, they forgot about the nuke I put in the lady's trunk? Timed to go off at 9 months and one day, after I got into the closet?

I declare CalifChris the winner! She ended it when nobody else could. LOL

#88 | Posted by Tosser at 2009-06

FRAUD SIR>..and WE will hit the streets to protest this VOTING FRAUD...oops..sorry...meant that to be on the iran thread..

oh PLEASE...you are just appeassing her arent you?

you know good and well that mine was the most creative..........chris cant compete with this

pulsating pink pubic palace.....

you know good and well that mine was the most creative

Creative porno... you are right.

oh PLEASE...you are just appeassing her arent you?

You ignored the story that had been written that far, and went back to the beginning. That isn't how the game is played.

Chris is the winner because I can't continue the story after she flattened it like that.

If you wanted to branch off, you should write "meanwhile, across town..."

so what have you got against creative porno

I mean there are only so many times that the washer repairman or the pizza delivery guy can walk in with his pizzas and get fucked by the blonde who comes to the door with the robe halfway on..

HEY

it was a nice thread...something different for a change.

so what have you got against creative porno

Too easy.

And when everyone starts doing it, it doesn't seem all that funny, is all.

it was a nice thread...something different for a change.

Oh yes. Great idea.

Oh yes. Great idea.

#96 | Posted by Tosser

Thanks, Tosser, and in the same post, I give you my permission (not that you'd need it) to compose the next Friday Night Fiction.