hahahahahahahahahaha....

I nearly pissed myself laughing. LOL

"I said 'your name is Nawaz Sharif Zardari.'"

And now the poor bugger will be cursed for life with having the names of two of the biggest crooks Pakistan has ever known.

A fine example of Pakistani sense of humor.

Zardari = known as "Mr.10%".. (thats the going rate of kickbacks he is said to demand). Also best known for killing his wife Benazir Bhutto. Was diagnosed with dementia and sever short-term memory loss. Sleeps all day, makes no public speeches, useless piece of shit.

Nawaz Sharif = Mushi said BOOO and Nawazoo lost all his hair so, during his exile in London (Mushi had kicked him out of Pakistan), he pulled hair out of his ass and transplanted it on his head. Now he looks like a fat alien.

"Go and rob no more..."

What a guy! Gives Islam a good name.

Gives Islam a good name.

Maybe. But he didn't have to give him that awful name.

I swear, if this guy find himself in Pakistan, either someone will slap him when they hear his name or die laughing.

Too bad the shop owner wasn't a Rasta. They could have had a great conversation about Haile Selassie while burning a fattie.

Why didn't he just name him "Mohamed Smith"? THAT would be the most common name in the world. LOL

LOL

Gives Islam a good name

Maybe. But he didn't have to give him that awful name.

His inside joke that says "there IS a price for crime"?

Anyway, how Chrislamistic (TM) of the storekeeper. Jesus and Mohammad would both be proud.

Hi, I'm a Muslim now I got me new name!

What's your name, bud?

Nawaz Sharif Zardari!

In Pakistan that would translated as "Ape like Buffoon". Congratulations!

Anyway, how Chrislamistic (TM) of the storekeeper. Jesus and Mohammad would both be proud.

Something similar happened with Mohamed himself... I am sure the shopkeeper has that running through his mind.

One day Mohamed was resting under a date-palm tree. A Kaffir sneaked up on him and held his sword at him.

"Who is going to save you now?" the Kaffir declared triumphantly.

Mohamed, without blinking, said, "Allah will, of course".

Hearing this the sword slipped out of the Kaffir's hand and he fell to his knees.

Mohamed got up, took his fallen sword and pointed it at the Kaffir.

"And now, WHO will save YOU from ME?"

The Kaffir replied, "nobody but God himself can save me now" and he became a Muslim.

This is a famous and well known event.

But I am damn sure Mohamed didn't name his attacker "Nawaz Sharif Zardari" ahahahahahahahahahahaha..... man that's so sick... LOL

TOSSER

How does the 'naming' thing usually work?

Does a convert pick it or someone else pick it for him if his name is Pat Robertson to begin with?

Three old muslim ladies named Gertrude, Maude and Tillie were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when Mohamed approached from across
the park. Mohamed went up to the ladies, stood right in front of them and opened his parka.

Gertrude immediately had a stroke. Then Maude also had a stroke. But Tillie, being older and more feeble, couldn't reach that far.

LOL

I expect a car bomb, in my car, by daybreak...

Three nuns were killed in a car crash. Upon reaching the Pearly Gates they were all asked a question they had to answer correctly for St. Peter to let them in.

Peter asks the first one: "Who was the first man?"

The nun of course replied: "Adam", and the gates swung open, angels sang, and bells started ringing.

Peter asks the second one: "Who was the first woman?"

The nun of course replied: "Eve", and the gates swung open, angels sang, and bells started ringing.

Peter asks the third nun: "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam"?

The nun put her hand to her mouth in a gasp of horror at the prospect of eternal damnation, for she didn't know the answer. So, she shook her head in a trembling, fearful voice and said, "Oh, my. That's a hard one", and the gates swung open, angels sang, and bells started ringing.

Actually, I don't think you have to rename at all. You can keep your old name.. if it isn't ridiculous.

But giving another even more ridiculous name like "Nawaz Sharif Zardari" is simply unforgivable.

If I ever get a blond and she is called "Linda" I will IMMEDIATELY ask her to change her name to anything else.

"Linda" sounds a lot like "Lainda" (turd).

Mohammad Swaggart. Doesn't sound like it'd work.

"Linda" means pretty in Spanish.

A man staggers into an emergency room with a
concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a 5 iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asks him what happened.

Well, it was like this, said the man.
I was having aquiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.

We went to look for them and while I was rooting
around, I noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt. That's when I made my big mistake

What did you do? asked the Doctor.

Well, I lifted the cow's tail and yelled to my
wife, 'Hey, this looks like yours!'.

I don't remember much after that

TOSSER

You should go to Scandinavia or Czechoslovakia. Lots of blonds. A lot of blonds in Minnesota here in the U.S. too. Many of their immigrant great great grandparents came from Sweden, Finland, Norway, etc.

Study up on this for the U.S. American women love it when you refer to "their big American breasts". Don't try to be both guys at the same time. You'll scare blonds. Just practice being a "swingin' guy'. It's all the rage here:

Nice going Americanunity...teaching him to be a cool white guy! lol

If you want blondes Tosser go to Iceland it has the most beautiful blondes in the world without a doubt.

"Linda" means pretty in Spanish.

I ain't Spanish.

American women love it when you refer to "their big American breasts".

Thanks... I remember that.

I love boobies.

Oh yeah Tosser you're one of the more famous on the Drudge Retort check the link

Yep... as I thought.. a lot more anger than humor. The usual "3rd world shithole" with a pic of car junkyard as "slum".

Nothing new there.

Seems like I got under the skin of whoever wrote that. LOL

If you want blondes Tosser go to Iceland

It's cold in Iceland! You go to Iceland! LOL ... I am not THAT desperate for blond pussy.

Dude... I've never seen any snow and you want me to go someplace where I can freeze to death?

Dude... I've never seen any snow and you want me to go someplace where I can freeze to death?

It gets cold in Pakistan, doesn't it Nancy?

Get a coat. Wear it.

Tosser:

Snow is fun! Get a warm coat, experience it!

Sorry, Lisa. You are wrong. Snow sucks. *grin*

LOL

I love the snow!

Sorry, Lisa. You are wrong. Snow sucks. *grin*

Mud sucks.

Snow freezes.

Get a coat and some mittens and go sledding.

I love the snow!

You and me both, Lisa. In 39 years (38 years and 361 days is close enough) I have never gotten tired of it. I am still a like a kid when those flakes start to fall.

#32 | Posted by moomanfl

It does bring back the kid in us.

Moo and Lisa -

Yes, the early snowflakes are fun, but by January 10 I am ready for spring. For the most part, Michigan winters are pretty brutal.

I've always enjoyed peeing my name into the snow.

My dad's timeless advice is, "Never eat yellow snow."

Every parents advice is "never eat yellow snow"! lol

I usually get spring fever by the beginning of March. But until then, I love the snow. There is so much fun to be had in it!

And hot cocoa with mini marshmallows just isn't the same in spring!!

For the most part, Michigan winters are pretty brutal.

And that is with the first big snow of this year still fresh in your mind I am sure. I happened to be driving up in your neck of the woods at the time and remember it well. Afterward I was stuck at a truck stop in Michigan once when my air brakes froze on my trailer. A couple days later, in Toronto, in the next week I had to have someone come out to pull my truck free 4 times. Once in Canada, and 3 times in Buffalo. One of those was from a snowbank on the side of the interstate. Scary.

That said though, my only real regret is that I didn't have anyone with me to throw a snowball at.

Err... change that first sentence to "the first big snow of this last winter".

"Afterward I was stuck at a truck stop in Michigan once when my air brakes froze on my trailer. A couple days later, in Toronto, in the next week I had to have someone come out to pull my truck free 4 times. Once in Canada, and 3 times in Buffalo. "

Here's some advice:

SLOOOOOOW DOOOOOOWN!

From M*A*S*H -

"Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice...pull down your pants and slide on the ice." - Dr. Sydney Friedman

Just took the bike over 2 passes and plenty of snow at the top, not too cold though about 65 degrees.

It's weird having 5 foot wall of snow on the side of the dry warm road.

Lisa,

Hot chocolate rocks!

We purchase Giahardelli and then lace it with a dash of Peppermint Scnapps and a dash of Bailey's Irish Cream.

The quantity used for both is insufficient to make a 'potent' drink, but they both add tremendous flavor as well as that 'warm' feeling.

SLOOOOOOW DOOOOOOWN!

Would you believe that every single time I was stopped?

The time beside the interstate the road was completely covered, but I had to make it to the truck stop outside Buffalo. The interstate was virtually deserted of traffic, but the snow was coming down so hard it was freezing to the windshield faster than the wipers and the defroster to clear it.

I pulled over to the side to scrape the ice off because my view was almost completely obscured and I still had 5 miles to go. The plows had piled up a 5 foot high bank of snow on the shoulder, and I didn't know that the ONE lane they had plowed was the far right lane. I tried to pull over as far as I could to keep from getting hit since visibility was less than 30 feet when driving into the snowfall.

Well after clearing my windshield tried to pull forward and realized I was stuck. I wasn't hauling a trailer, so my back tires had no weight to get traction, and I had parked with them just into the edge of that snow bank from the plows. My drive tires were just spinning.

Normally only one side of the two back axles provides drive power... the back right one. That was the one in the snow bank. So I cut in my differential lock which provides power to that set of tires, plus the front left side of the back two axles. For about 5 minutes I spun my tires and tried rocking out of the snow (which had worked for a few other instances I didn't mention above). However, I quickly stopped when I realized that every time I started spinning the tires my back end started sliding farther to the right off the road.... and there was a 15 FOOT EMBANKMENT that I didn't see because of the snow. I was about 3 inches from going over.

Well fortunately for me (but not the drivers involved) there was an accident back the way I came on the opposite side of the interstate and traffic was backed up. Some of the drivers saw my predicament and called in for some help. I was out of the embankment 30 minutes later and the company picked up the tab for the tow with nothing on my record against me.

Alls well that ends well I guess.

Lisa,

You are seeming highly attractive today - it's the snow, isn't it?

MW - Good to hear you've busted out the Honda.

PS - if you enjoy fiction, here's a book that should be right up your alley:

Sounds like an interesting read, I will buy it.

First long road trip today, about 400 miles. It was great, too much sun though.

Boy did I get the girl looks though, even the younger ones......OOOOHHHH!!! Baby!!

"You are seeming highly attractive today - it's the snow, isn't it?"

Actually, I thought perhaps you had just finished a full thermos of hot choco and schnapps!!

A little too much schnapps at that!

No, a little morgans and the captain makes everything just fine.

lol

G' morning, Money

Actually, I thought perhaps you had just finished a full thermos of hot choco and schnapps!!

Nah - in your honor I just consumed a Captain and Coke - mostly Captain. I am serious. Now that I work nights, this is the END of the day for me!

Actually, I was thinking of the last photo you emailed to me - blonde hair, blue eyes, perfect teeth.....everything is going perfectly...BUT...you cropped out those vaunted C-Cups!

That was very mean of you.

Ok, Ok...enough. That pic is old!!

My husbands favorite pic is one I have from earlier this year. Just a head shot, but it's got a sort of Grace Kelly feel to it.

I'll send it to you.

Sounds like an interesting read, I will buy it.

It lacked his usual hilarity when it came to character development. Other than that, it was a really enjoyable read.

First long road trip today, about 400 miles. It was great, too much sun though.

Sounds great to me.

Boy did I get the girl looks though, even the younger ones......OOOOHHHH!!! Baby!!

It was that huge bulge you were displaying....from your back-pocket...stop storing receipts in your wallet!

My dad's timeless advice is, "Never eat yellow snow."

Are you Frank Zappa's son?

"Watch out where the huskies go
And don't you eat that yellow snow."

zappa

It gets cold in Pakistan, doesn't it Nancy?

Not where I be.

And who's nancy? Should I know her?

" Now that I work nights, this is the END of the day for me!"

You're working nights now??

Lisa,

The pic I have is just a head-shot - well mostly...you were clearly wearing a Packers uniform.

Please include the rack if you are sending me a pic! ;-)

Morning Lisa, how is my blond blue eye beaut?

You're working nights now??

Yep.

I'm feeling a little better, Monte. Got hit with pnemonia two weeks ago. Yuck.

How's things with you?

Jeff:

How do you like working nights? My ex loved it. He got bumped to 2nd shift now...he hates it!

My husbands favorite pic is one I have from earlier this year

Husband???

I didn't realize you had re-married!

God! It's been too long.

I'll email you Jeff.

Lisa,

Nights has worked out well.

The only problem is sleeping patterns - no rhyme or reason as to when I am dead-tired vs. when I can stay up indefinitely.

I'll email you Jeff.

#62 | Posted by Lisa

I look forward to it, INWI.

#63 | Posted by JeffJ

I know. It's hard. My ex would fall asleep sitting up doing his cross word puzzles. He never got a good, lenghty sleep when he was on 3rd shift.

Gotta get the boy moving for school. You all have a great day. I'll email you later this AM Jeff...look for it!

Have a beautiful day everyone!

Been on 3rd shift for the last several years and it is tough on the sleep.

During the week it is nothing but a series of naps, Lisa. It would be different if I didn't have kids - but I can't miss baseball, soccer and basketball games - my boys would be devestated if I did.

6 hours of broken up sleep is NOT the same as 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I catch up on the weekend, but the weekday sleep-pattern is tough.

Lisa, as I was eating my fried eggs and toast, it dawned on me what you were talking about.

Yes, I did see your brain wave response. However, not wanting to belabour the point I didn't respond. But since you asked . . . *grin*

Your stepmother's heart was beating because her brain stem (a very primitive part of the brain that performs purely automatic tasks) was functioning. If you google [legal definition of death] the first hit says:

Legal definition of death, in most states, requires "irreversible cessation of all functions of the entire brain, including the brain stem."

Been on 3rd shift for the last several years and it is tough on the sleep.

I love the graveyard shift. I've been on it pretty much steadily for 25 years. It dovetails nicely with my favorite pasttime, astronomy.

Money,

What I have found to be so tough is that there's no rhyme or reason to the sleep. It's ALL random.

My wife really works hard toward creating an environment where I can sleep blissfully. Nevertheless, sometimes I simply can't sleep soundly during the early part of the day.

There's a reason that 3rd shift usually warrants a premium - working it is a bitch!

The only problem is sleeping patterns - no rhyme or reason as to when I am dead-tired vs. when I can stay up indefinitely.

When I am on-shore I have the craziest sleep patterns, but it is not a problem. Sometimes I go to bed at 6:00 PM and wake up at 2:00 to start the day. Sometimes I go to bed at 3:00 AM and wake up at 10:00 AM. Sometimes I take a series of naps. It's crazy, but it's actually kind of nice. No alarm clocks, nap when I want, etc.

My eating patterns are similiar. Some days I'm so busy I forget to eat. It drives my endocrinologist crazy.

Kids make it tough, I don't have them home any more.

I find staying up after getting home about 2 hours and reading a book for a short time in bed helps.

Goatman,

I kind of do the same thing, during the summer try to get up early around 9 so I can ride, lots of country side to see and pictures to take.

Contrasting this man's action to the store keeper who shot an unarmed, wounded, unconscious 14 year old boy, and the shooter of the unarmed child doesn't look like such a hero.

I kind of do the same thing, during the summer try to get up early around 9 so I can ride, lots of country side to see and pictures to take.

I'm going to do that this weekend. My jeep is in the shop and I am going to pick it up on the way back from the airport on Friday. I think I am going to go back to Big Bend National Park. I love west Texas. It's beautiful country and unique geography. Big Bend is the only place in the world where new mountains have erupted under old ones and both are visible. I.E., you can see old, smooth formations like the Appalachians and new, relatively non-weathered jagged mounains like the Rockys.

Lisa,

I muddled through your email link and am not sure you got my reply.

Anyhow, this is my email addy -

moneywar: Here are some pictures I took on my last road trip to Big Bend about 3 months ago. I had my truck then. This time I'm going to take my jeep so that I can drive on the off-road trails. I ought to get some great pictures there

Goat,

I guaruntee your linked pictures are shitty when compared with the linked photos of your cauldron of chili!

#80 Certainly not as tasty. LOL

#78 | Posted by JeffJ

Got it and message sent Jeff.

Ahhh, Goatman! Big Bend was my favorite when I lived in Texas. Try Pedernales Falls Park sometime, too.
Hey, how did a thread about a robber converting to Islam turn into a discussion about tits and the travel chat?

Try Pedernales Falls Park sometime, too.

Thanks for the tip. Perhaps I"ll try that instead of another trip to BB next week. Living in San Antonio, it is closer.

To reciprocate -- check out Seminole Canyon State park if you have a chance. There is ancient Indian art on the canyon walls.

Nearby is the town of Sanderson where I serendipitiously stumbled on the best chicken fried steak I've ever had at a restaurant on the main drag call the Round House. It really was a roundhouse at one time and the pictures on the walls of it are very interesting.

Cool! But I live in NJ now. Pedernales has some of the most beautiful rolling waterfalls you can hike through, and it's close to you. Round Mountain is a decent hike in your area and, of course, Gruene with tubing on the Guadalupe and the dance hall. I miss Texas.

Hey, how did a thread about a robber converting to Islam turn into a discussion about tits and the travel chat?

America is lining up it's blonds for me by tit size. That's how.

Hey INWI--

Hope the pneumonia is gone and everything is going great!

"American women love it when you refer to "their big American breasts".

Thanks... I remember that.

I love boobies."

Also, a strong smelling vagina is considered a sign of femininity and fertility here in the US. Make sure to let any American womean you meet know that you can smell her vagina.

Also, a strong smelling vagina is considered a sign of femininity and fertility here in the US. Make sure to let any American womean you meet know that you can smell her vagina.

Yes yes... I will make sure to mention who told me that.

Make sure to let any American womean you meet know that you can smell her vagina.

Hannibal Lecter: Now then, tell me. What did Miggs say to you? Multiple Miggs in the next cell. He hissed at you. What did he say?

Clarice Starling: He said, "I can smell your cunt."

Hannibal Lecter: I see. I myself cannot. You use Evian skin cream, and sometimes you wear L'Air du Temps, but not today.

Do I come across as Hannibal the Cannibal Lector???

Sheesh....

Historically, most coverts to Islam have been looking at the point of a sword/gun. Some things stay the same. Somebody better go and find some more virgins, the current ones will be tapped out.

That's like being held at bay with a massive black dildo in an Adult Bookstore...

...and then going gay as a result.

A real Muslim would have chosen to be martyred on the spot.

...Some days I'm so busy I forget to eat. It drives my endocrinologist crazy....

Next time have your endocrinologist write you a prescription -- "RX: one wife" -- preferably one who's a half-way decent cook and would make sure she nagged you into eating a healthy snack or two every day.

Hey INWI--

Hope the pneumonia is gone and everything is going great!

#87 | Posted by MURPHY at 2009-06-03 12:02 PM

Murphy, the advice you gave INWI the other day to change toothbrushes often to help her get rid of any possible pneumonia bacteria still around was a good suggestion. Not something one often thinks of, but toothbrushes can breed more bacteria if not thoroughly cleansed.

This was heart warming story. This guy was lucky. Most criminals don't have their "come to Jesus" moment until after they go to prison or jail.

Of course you meant "come to Mohammed".

Sanan - ya whatever... same thing to me.

Converting to become a Muslim in the middle of a crime?

NOT A WISE IDEA!!! Unless he wants his hand cutoff, I'd wait until after the sentencing to convert.

(YES...I know he was released by the owner...just jokes folks)

Converted under duress --- what a conman, the thief... got $40, a piece of bread, and escaped gunshot wound and a trip to jail.

A cheap gimmick but it worked for the guy.

BTW, this story will find mention in my sermon --- what rich material. True human story.

BTW, this story will find mention in my sermon --- what rich material. True human story.

This was a story about a Pakistani guy letting a crook live and giving him a stupid name for life... like "Cheney Bush Nixon"... I don't think it's going to fit in your Christian preaching.

Nawaz Sharif. Zardari. I like the names. Do you think these PMs are not thieves? Arafat.... he stole millions and gave it to his wive to live in Paris.... Than Shwe. Mugabe. Can go on.... too many thieves running governments in different parts of the world.

#102.... oh, don't you worry.... there are many ways this story can be used....like...

... the guy would not be stealing if he had heeded the promise of Jesus in Matthew 6:31-33.

... the dying thieves: one to paradise and one to hell. Luke 23:39-43.

Self-righteous liberals, on the brink of hell, yet unaware and living in arrogance --- the rich man is warning them (Luke 16:30).

etc etc etc etc.

And much more....

Do you think these PMs are not thieves?

If you had the brains to read the thread from the top I said "both Zardari and Nawazoo are the biggest crooks Pakistan has ever seen".

God, you're more than a bit stupid, aren'tcha?

Btw, Taki.... Won't it stick in your throat if you try to mention it was a Pakistani Muslim who did this "christian" thing? LOL

I am sure you'll try to lie and make it your own story somehow.

That's what you lying Christian Fundos do.... make up stories and take credit as if it's all about you you and more you.

I know you scum, inside out.

Hey Toss --- don't worry, be happy.

I'm not going to change the story.... only I'm going to use it to highlight points.

(also for boring preachers known for putting people to sleep, this story will keep the audience a bit curious and attentive...).

And aren't you already supposed to be in India, you little phony? LOL

You said you will be in Slumdogland by June.

I'm not going to change the story....

I find that very hard to believe.

Yes, third week of June.... going places preaching and enjoying Indian food (I love it!). Tickets and reservations all in place.

Youtube: glowing cross in Shillong.

Good riddance. LOL

Go have a road accident on me.

Though now that I think about, persuading a bunch of Hindoos to become Christian, is good for the region.

1. Christians are not as blood-thirsty as Hindoos.

2. Christians are stupider than Hindoos.

Taki really is doing God's work. LOL

#112... I live here: Psalm 91.

#113.... Hindus are getting insecure and lashing out against Christians. 1 Corinhtians 1:18.

We know what Muslims are doing to non-Muslims.

Hindus are getting insecure and lashing out against Christians.

Oh I know.

I know how the hindoos burnt those nuns to death.

When will your turn come, I wonder? LOL

We know what Muslims are doing to non-Muslims.

Yeah. They give them $40 and some bread and tell them to be on their way. hahahahahaha

Well, this story only surprises me in that the conversion to Islam took place for this criminal BEFORE he went to prison. Most American Muslim's are prison converts.

From a friend of mine that works in the prison system, it is often as much for solidarity (ie gang related) as anything else.

The whites all join some Aryan Nation type group, the hispanics all join some type of La Rasa group, and the blacks all become Muslim.

The only thing that would surprise me about this is if the guy doesn't commit another crime this year. In fact, wonder if the local news will follow up on this guy from year to year and see if / when he gets busted.

The only thing that would surprise me about this is if the guy doesn't commit another crime this year.

He probably will. With a name like "Nawaz Sharif Zardari" (or "Cheney Bush Nixon") you can't help yourself.

If you read the article, the guy ran off as the store owner was getting some milk for him.

Most American Muslim's are prison converts.

#116 | Posted by 1libertarian

7 million of them?

You're funny.

desperate times call for desperate measures.

Nanc you would have shot him and let God worry about him.

"Hey INWI--

Hope the pneumonia is gone and everything is going great!"

#87 | Posted by MURPHY

It's FINALLY starting to break up a little Murph. I finally coughed up some stuff today. Still can't do much without getting tired, this time it's really zapped the energy from me. But...I'm on the mend! Thanks for being concerned Murph.

"Murphy, the advice you gave INWI the other day to change toothbrushes often to help her get rid of any possible pneumonia bacteria still around was a good suggestion. Not something one often thinks of, but toothbrushes can breed more bacteria if not thoroughly cleansed."

#95 | Posted by CalifChris

When I used regular toothbrushes I always flopped them out every 3 months or sooner if one of the kids got sick.

We have Sonicare toothbrushes now. They can go into the dishwasher and then I soak them in bleach water to really sterilize them.

Lisa you need to spend more time posting here and less time doing whatever you normally do.

I guess you don't have to wait until you're locked up in prison to find god.