RIP

I believe we'll keep those pitchforks and torches handy for the end of The None's next hundred days.

Did Obama crack wise about retarded persons?

Yes, Dean. But his remarks were specifically addressed to the first 3 posters on this thread.

i heard dick couldnt make it because he was involved in a fender bender out on the beltway and his wheelchair was in the shop.

Someone there had to make jokes about Obama. No one else was going to.

Obama reiterated that he thinks he is "The One".

And the roasting of Obama wasn't. Instead they roasted Rush, Hannity, Palin and Cheney.

The best line of the evening;

'Dick Cheney couldn't be here, he's working on his memoirs, tentatively titled, How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People'. ---obama----

Obama to Micheal Steele;

'For the last time, the republican party cannot get a bail-out, Rush Limbaugh does not qualify as a troubled asset.'

He thinks he is the messiah?

Hope and change

Don't forget to wear your brown shits over to moms today. But then again I am sure a lot of you still live with your mothers.

"Among those attending were Eva Longoria Parker, Ashton Kutcher, Christian Slater, Natalie Portman, Sting, Mariska Hargitay, Steven Spielberg and Jon Bon Jovi. Also there was Richard Phillips, who was held hostage by Somali pirates after his cargo ship was attacked."

I just love the priority shown here.
Assholes.

~The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Obama reiterated that he thinks he is "The One".

#6 | Posted by KBM at 2009-05-10 12:05 PM | Reply | Flag:

No, he was providing humor at the expense of morons such as you that push that and other Lush Rimjob talking points. The event is not a roast of the POTUS, rather, it's a dinner for the press that usually includes humor. Some of the humor is self-deprecating, some is pointed at others and sometimes it's just stupid. Witness Bush looking for WMDs.

He thinks he is the messiah?

Don't forget to wear your brown shits over to moms today. But then again I am sure a lot of you still live with your mothers.

#9 | Posted by chickenrancher at 2009-05-10 12:14 PM | Reply | Flag

See above.

Brown shits?!? Your mother must suck if she didn't teach you the basic lesson of wearing clean tighty whiteys when you go out in public. Of course, maybe she was less concerned about accidents after raising you.

I hope Rush Limbaughs' kidneys fail.

--wanda sykes---

The humorless reactions from Obama haters here are as funny as his jokes.

So should we now hope that Wanda Sykes gets breast cancer?

Does everyone remember Dubya trying to be funny looking for the WMDs under the tables and chairs???

Not funny.... What was funny was seeing him make an ass of himself doing that gig....

Then there was "Pickles" wisecracking about dumbass "milking" a male horse.....

When did they start letting horses in Public Bathrooms in DC?

Spud liked it when Wanda Sykes called Obama "the first black President" and then waited a well timed beat before noting...

"Unless you screw up... ...cos then it'll be "wot's up with the half-white guy?'"

Liked the "Sasha and Malia are grounded for joyriding in Air Force One over Manhatten" joke.

The Cheney sequel to the Dale Carnegie classic was also pretty good.

Even funnier than all of that is listening to the collective whining from the site's resident rtards.

Rethuglican Whine made with 100% Sour Grapes!

Yummy!

Be Well.

/Nice that the proceeds of this dinner went to feed hungry kids and give young journos scholarships.

#19 should be read as obvious sarcasm, but I thought I'd leave this qualifier here anyway for the irony-impaired and literal-minded.

That was actually really disappointing. I wanted Rove to be rapping. Damn. (Given that he is a master of spin, isn't he actually a DJ, not an MC?)

The humorless reactions from Obama haters here are as funny as his jokes.

#14 | Posted by rcade at

you may want to sit down for this

I agree

but a couple do have a point
I mean if its a roast where in the hell was lisa lampanelli????

ON MY

I just realized what would have happened if lampanelli was there..

but its not like she could have been anymore UNFUNNY than wanda sykes was..

and even on the obama jabs...AS SOFT AS THEY WERE>..

she just WAS NOT FUNNY.........

and the rush bullshit crossed the line of the event. as sam donaldson said on abc this morning
the event is supposed to use 'roast' not 'fire' and the rush shit was just that ...cross the line
lets put it this way...it was something that many posters HERE would find funny......NUFF SAID.

I did enjoy obama's stuff...all well done jabs at almost everyone......

of course as george will said this morning.
good writers
good delivery
what more can you ask for......

Aw, come on, AFK, the "troubled asset" bit was good.

Albeit off by 2 letters.

Colbert set the gold standard forever with his Press Club roasting of George Bush.

I have a better headline.

Obama on Crack at Press Dinner!

Wanda Sykes Says Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker.

Weeping Butt Boil would have gladly licked Mohammed Atta's balls for a month's supply of hillbilly heroin.

"Instead they roasted Rush, Hannity, Palin and Cheney. "

That's called going after the low-hanging fruits.

"Obama even took on former Vice President Dick Cheney, who wasn't in attendance: "He is very busy working on his memoirs, tentatively titled, "How to Shoot Friends and Interrogate People."

Classic.

Wanda Sykes Says Limbaugh was the 20th hijacker.

Well he was gonna be on one of those flights but then the airline wanted to charge him fer an extra seat so he sed "Screw THAT!" and left in an oxy-contin fueled huff.

* ka-shing *

Thank yew!

Be Well.

I have a better headline.

Meh, Spud prefered the alternate headline from last years dinner.

"Dumbya Licks Jeff Gannon's Ass-Crack After Press Club Dinner."

Be Well.

Funny, but nowhere as hilarious as Dubya's where are those WMDs that 4300 Americans died for slide show presentation.

That was killer. Da bomb.

"Dumbya Licks Jeff Gannon's Ass-Crack After Press Club Dinner

Come on now, Guckert always asked the most probing questions.

LOL. Nice one.

Guckert, by day lobbing softballs at Bush in the WH press room.

Bush, by night slobbering all over Guckert's soft balls in WH guest bedroom.

Be Well.

/Btw, Spud was too pised off last night to mention it but Gratz on going ahead 3-2 in the series.
//That sed, it aint over yet, Rein. Believe that.

Gratz on going ahead 3-2 in the series.
//That sed, it aint over yet, Rein. Believe that.

Gracias, I'm just pleased the Hawks have come this far considering how far the organ-i-zation(Bob Pulford speak) had fallen. If they do get past the Canucks I don't give them much of a chance against the Ducks or Wings.

If they do get past the Canucks I don't give them much of a chance against the Ducks or Wings.

Yeah, and if the Canucks manage to eke out the next two wins they won't have much gas left in the tank to face either of them two as well.

Meh, on the plus side if we do get eliminated in the second round at least Spud'll finally be able to shave off his traditional play-off beard so really it's a win win thing here fer Spud.

/Seriously, the damn thing itches most annoyingly.

Be Well.

I hope Wanda Sykes gets Sickle Cell.

Were there any jokes about Obama's cocaine use or making fun of Special Olympic kids?

I cannot believe I live in a world massively threatened by environmental catastrophe, and my government is barely even talking about half-measures, let alone moving heaven and earth with fierce urgency to save the planet. And the oil guys aren't even in the White House anymore.

I cannot believe I live in a world where the economy is imploding and the guy in charge of the country where the recession is rooted has hired agents of the very criminal crowd responsible for the problem to produce a solution, and that, shockingly, the solution' once again benefits wealthy elites while doing little for the rest of us.

I cannot believe that I live in a country with a crumbling healthcare system, and the solution being offered by the "change" candidate-now-president - to the extent we will see one at all - will forego the obvious model of universal coverage adopted by all other developed countries in the world, and will instead slap Scotch Tape on the train wreck of the existing for-profit healthcare disaster, in an attempt to hold it together a little longer.

I cannot believe that I live in a world where the Taliban is within spitting distance of capturing nuclear-armed Pakistan, and my government can't even get serious enough about peace in the Middle East to show some real security guarantee carrots and foreign aid sticks to its client state in the region, forcing it to end an illegal and deeply antagonizing annexation masquerading as a forty year occupation.

I cannot believe I live in a country where individuals who knowingly broke the law and ruined the national reputation by torturing are exposed by the president, only for him to then turn around and deploy magical powers which supposedly allow him to exonerate them in advance.

This is Obama's America? This is Obama's America.

dave green

...making fun of Special Olympic kids?

~UTI

No, nobody mentioned you.

the rush bullshit crossed the line

~Babbler

Rush "I Hope Obama Fails" Limbaugh versus Wanda "I Hope Rush's Kidney's Fail" Sykes?

Wanda was definitely funnier.

A Dittohead whining about somebody else crossing the line?

Bwa hahahahahahaha!

Damn, that's funny.

Rush crossed the line a long, long time ago, Babbler.

Wanda's crack was an attempt to point that out.

Sam Donaldson is a hack.

K?

Be Well.

It's a trifecta for me, SPUD... tonight I'll have the Bruins, Celtics and Red Sox to watch.

Sweet. Vancity only has AAA ball and our basketball team left town a while back leaving Spud with only the Canucks and the Lions (CFL) to root fer.

Bruins trail 3-1. Must win three straight. Pretty unlikely, though two of those games would be at home. At least they're healthy, unlike the Celts.

Just to cover all bases, talk to the hockey gods one more time for me, OK?

The Hockey Gods are neither taking nor returning Spud's calls at present.

Did ya catch the Canucks shellacing last night at the hands of the Hawks?

Brutal.

We's behind 3-2 now and need to win the next two to see Round 3.

Dagnabbit!

Be Well.

My biggest laugh came from Sykes analogizing Cheney defending torture pointing out all the subsequently obtained intel to a bank robber defending his robbery to a judge by pointing out all the bills he subsequently paid.

What, no jokes about WMD's that weren't there? You remember 'those', right?

The ones Bush sent 4000 American Soldiers to their deaths over.

Ahhhh....that sure was some funny stuff to the republicans when Bush joked around about a matter that resulted in 4000 DEAD American soldiers.

Funny, funny stuff indeed!

What, no jokes about WMD's that weren't there? You remember 'those', right?

The ones Bush sent 4000 American Soldiers to their deaths over.

Ahhhh....that sure was some funny stuff to the republicans when Bush joked around about a matter that resulted in 4000 DEAD American soldiers.

Funny, funny stuff indeed!

Posted by COMMONSENSE at 2009-05-11 03:09 AM | Reply

I'll bet Obama read his jokes from a teleprompter.
And I'm not joking.

I'd rather have jokes read from a teleprompter Than to poke ones Head out of a helicopter.

I'll bet Obama read his jokes from a teleprompter.
And I'm not joking.

#47 | POSTED BY JEFFNDENMARK AT 2009-05-11 03:36 AM | REPLY | FLAG:

Took you long enough to finally get the right-wing talking point down, Jeff.

Proof you can teach an old dog a new trick. Just don't make it too complex.

Barack Obama and the CIA: why does president pantywaist hate america so much?
Gerald Warner.

If al-Qaeda, the Taliban and the rest of the Looney Tunes brigade want to kick America to death, they had better move in quickly and grab a piece of the action before Barack Obama finishes the job himself. Never in the history of the United States has a president worked so actively against the interests of his own people - not even Jimmy Carter.

Obama's problem is that he does not know who the enemy is. To him, the enemy does not squat in caves in Waziristan, clutching automatic weapons and reciting the more militant verses from the Koran: instead, it sits around at tea parties in Kentucky quoting from the US Constitution. Obama is not at war with terrorists, but with his Republican fellow citizens. He has never abandoned the campaign trail.

That is why he opened Pandora's Box by publishing the Justice Department's legal opinions on waterboarding and other hardline interrogation techniques. He cynically subordinated the national interest to his partisan desire to embarrass the Republicans. Then he had to rush to Langley , Virginia to try to reassure a demoralised CIA that had just discovered the President of the United States was an even more formidable foe than al-Qaeda.

"Don't be discouraged by what's happened the last few weeks," he told intelligence officers. Is he kidding? Thanks to him, al-Qaeda knows the private interrogation techniques available to the US intelligence agencies and can train its operatives to withstand them - or would do so, if they had not already been outlawed.

So, next time a senior al-Qaeda hood is captured, all the CIA can do is ask him nicely if he would care to reveal when a major population centre is due to be hit by a terror spectacular, or which American city is about to be irradiated by a dirty bomb. Your view of this situation will be dictated by one simple criterion: whether or not you watched the people jumping from the twin towers...

President Pantywaist's recent world tour, cosying up to all the bad guys, excited the ambitions of America 's enemies. Here, they realised, is a sucker they can really take to the cleaners. His only enemies are fellow Americans. Which prompts the question: why does President Pantywaist hate America so badly?

Wanda Sykes is an absolute NOBODY .

she's not even B list

She's C list

Oh but there were no other FEMALE, BLACK, comediennes available as Whoopie Goldberg is just too bizarre to be taken seriously anymore.

Entitlement by gender and skin color. It's the Obama way. Forget the fact that Wanda Sykes has ZERO fans and is nowhere close to funny. She's female; she's black. That is how we make our decisions.
Kinda like putting a lesbian on the short list for the Supreme Court.
Never mind the track record as a judge, you're a Lesbo? Well you definitely should sit on the SCOTUS for that reason !

GoBama!

Wanda is black and a lesbian. Obama actually wanted her to be on the Supreme Court because she can empathize, but she did the correspongants dinner instead. She probably has tax issues.

She was funny on Curb Your Enthusiasm, but the angry black woman speaking ebonics schtick was played.

Hahhahhh, good one!

Go REDWINGS!

Entitlement by gender and skin color. It's the Obama way

#51 | Posted by Fredo_C at 2009-05-11 11:01 AM

I agree.

Sincerely,

Clarence Thomas aka CTOM aka Uncle Tom.

Yo Yo.

Hard Core.

Why are Obama's lips always purple?

I don't agree with the President acting like a stand up comedian and cracking jokes about things they have done. I did not agree with Bush poking fun at the WMD hunt and I don't agree with Obama making light of the fear New Yorkers felt. Leave the jokes to the comedians.

Kanrei, It was pretty much a roast!

Get over yourself!

The best was when Colbert pretty much shredded Bush and The Bushling was clueless about the whole insult.

If you say so jerrytarkanian taliban!

If you say so jerrytarkanian taliban!

#60 | Posted by obamadrama at 2009-05-11 12:29 PM

Hi Box_Itch.

In english please

In english please

#62 | Posted by obamadrama at 2009-05-11 12:34 PM

Exactly.

Did Obama crack wise about retarded persons?

#3 | POSTED BY DEAN_BUVIA AT 2009-05-10 10:35 AM |

Yes, he poked fun at Fox News.

Speaking of Fox, I heard Murdoch had decided, as Pravda did at the end of the Soviet era, that his "News organization" was going to start telling the truth. They are going to change their name to the "Faux news network" to begin with, and quit lying about being "fair and balanced." They are still going to lie like dogs, it's just that now they will admit that they are liars.
Murdoch actually admitted last week that the "recession is over." I'll bet Limbaugh choked on his hot fudge sundae when he heard that. Puts a huge dent in his "I hope he fails" wish about Obama.
To Yav and Beth, the guy that you say hates America is the one who just managed to back the national Bus back off the edge of a cliff wbere your hero, the "W" managed to leave it after 8 years of total corruption and incompetence. And don't presume to represent the troops in your dogmatic ramblings. My son in law is a marine in Iraq presently serving his second tour of duty. I can tell you that his company voted overwhelmingly for Obama in November and they love the guy, because he is smart enough to know that you aren't going to win the hearts and minds of a country by killing hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, and talking about America's "Crusade" in the middle east.
And, once again, the Limbaugh loving Dildo heads have to choke on the reality that their blessed "trickle down" theory has once again failed miserably, other than making sure the rich get richer and everybody else gets screwed. The republicans have a 100 percent batting average since 1928. Seven presidents, one depression, NINE RECESSIONS, Hyper Inflation, 12 Trillion in DEFICIT SPENDING. It's been a huge success if you own an oil company, or sell drugs (pharmacuticals), or a bank, or Halliburton. Hopefully, the barnburner republicans ("I hope he fails" is the modern day equivalent to the group who were described in the 1800's as being so stupid that they would burn down their barn to rid it of rats). Speaking of rats, is Limbaugh off the drugs or did he just gain 200 pounds in spite of taking massive doses of the stuff?
All my love,
Mac

Speaking of Fox, I heard Murdoch had decided, as Pravda did at the end of the Soviet era, that his "News organization" was going to start telling the truth. They are going to change their name to the "Faux news network" to begin with, and quit lying about being "fair and balanced." They are still going to lie like dogs, it's just that now they will admit that they are liars.
Murdoch actually admitted last week that the "recession is over." I'll bet Limbaugh choked on his hot fudge sundae when he heard that. Puts a huge dent in his "I hope he fails" wish about Obama.
To Yav and Beth, the guy that you say hates America is the one who just managed to back the national Bus back off the edge of a cliff wbere your hero, the "W" managed to leave it after 8 years of total corruption and incompetence. And don't presume to represent the troops in your dogmatic ramblings. My son in law is a marine in Iraq presently serving his second tour of duty. I can tell you that his company voted overwhelmingly for Obama in November and they love the guy, because he is smart enough to know that you aren't going to win the hearts and minds of a country by killing hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians, and talking about America's "Crusade" in the middle east.
And, once again, the Limbaugh loving Dildo heads have to choke on the reality that their blessed "trickle down" theory has once again failed miserably, other than making sure the rich get richer and everybody else gets screwed. The republicans have a 100 percent batting average since 1928. Seven presidents, one depression, NINE RECESSIONS, Hyper Inflation, 12 Trillion in DEFICIT SPENDING. It's been a huge success if you own an oil company, or sell drugs (pharmacuticals), or a bank, or Halliburton. Hopefully, the barnburner republicans ("I hope he fails" is the modern day equivalent to the group who were described in the 1800's as being so stupid that they would burn down their barn to rid it of rats). Speaking of rats, is Limbaugh off the drugs or did he just gain 200 pounds in spite of taking massive doses of the stuff?
All my love,
Mac

They are going to change their name to the "Faux news network" to begin with, and quit lying about being "fair and balanced." They are still going to lie like dogs, it's just that now they will admit that they are liars.

America is the world's leader in the production and distribution of Bullshit. Dole came out and said "I am an honest man" and America said "LIAR!" Clinton came out and said "I am totally full of shit" and America said "true, but at least he's honest about it."- George Carlin.