Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs
Thursday, April 23, 2009

Homely British singing sensation Susan Boyle has been offered $1 million to make a porn flick.

The plain Jane superstar with the spellbinding voice would have to lose her virginity on camera to earn the seven-figure payday from Los Angeles-based Kick Ass Films.

"We want to get this movie shot and out while Susan has the world's attention," said Kick Ass boss Mark Kulkis. "Besides, after 47 years of virginity, I'm sure Susan is also anxious to get something cracking as soon as possible."

Boyle, who says she's never been kissed let alone bedded, has taken the entire world by storm since she appeared on the American Idol-style TV show "Britain's Got Talent."

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The title of the film will be "Peyote Ugly"

Betcha OLD Hermie would watch it!

She would have a nice orgasm voice.

OMG!

This is just so wrong on so many levels. My God. The humanity!

$1 million is NOTHING compared to how much they are going to have to pay the GUY to fuck her.

The woman hasn't had any in 47 years for a reason. A damn good reason.

Even the less attractive need luvin ManyPaths.

Larry

$1 million is NOTHING compared to how much they are going to have to pay the GUY to fuck her.

The woman hasn't had any in 47 years for a reason. A damn good reason.

#6 | Posted by Manypaths

I wonder if John Bobbitt is still active in the industry?

Many Pants Pisser would fuck her after two wine coolers.

I wonder if John Bobbitt is still active in the industry?
#8 | Posted by SanAntonioRogue

I thought he was overwrought with guilt and became a minister to make amends?


Even the less attractive need luvin ManyPaths.


Larry

#7 | Posted by LarryMohr

Yeah, but they pay a lot more for it.


Even the less attractive need luvin ManyPaths.


Larry

#7 | Posted by LarryMohr


Don't dispair Larry, I am sure you'll find someone to love, lol!

Don't dispair Larry, I am sure you'll find someone to love, lol!

#12 | Posted by member2586

its wewwy ucking ard oo ype en you ite you ongue........

I'm waiting for the liberry to get a copy of the DVD!

aflacshaheen

I would watch the movie if they got Simon Cowell to star opposite Susan.

Then I'd take a shower to wash the vomit off of my shirt.

"$1 million is NOTHING compared to how much they are going to have to pay the GUY to fuck her."

You know it would be a gloryhole video.

It could be called die glorylei

I see #13 got a FF.

I just want to know who it was that got it?

You mean understood it or got your joke?

Got the joke?

I would have thought only Chair would have known what tree I was BARKING up.

Got the joke?

Nah... my limit for today was the Obsidian thing.

It took me a minute to figure out what you were saying though.

It's going to be called The Jizz Singer.

"Susan Boyle offered $1 million to star in porn flick"

Ron Jeremy offered $10 million to co-star, turns down offer.

I am sure most of you basement trolls would jump this gal in a minute.

"I am sure most of you basement trolls would jump this gal in a minute."

The crack of dawn isn't safe around these bastards.

"The crack of dawn"

Posted by babuenthal at 2009-04-23 08:46 PM | Reply

The last woman I recall being referred to with that term was strikingly, and memorably; since it was 1970, beautiful. In case you have no imagination, her name was Dawn.

Nobody thought "die glorylei" was funny?!
Jeez, what is it with you people?
Yeah I'm blogging drunk. So what?
Damn...

Manypaths is a DUDE?

who knew?

Hagbard, close your eyes and spin around in your computer chair.

It'll help.

Susan Boyle offered $1 million to star in porn flick

I'd pay to tap that!

Sincerely,

Rastaninja

The woman hasn't had any in 47 years for a reason. A damn good reason.

#6 | Posted by Manypaths

And the reason is-she's WAAAAAAAAAYYYYY past fugly.


I took one look at her pic-and my dick crawled back into my body, and threatened to NEVER come back out!

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