Israel is not the problem
Islamofascism is
Wherever Islamofascism flourishes
It must be stamped out
and wiped from the planet
Even if we have to blow up the entire world
because the Islamofasicsts have one or two nuclear weapons. Even if we have to become like our enemies and blow up innocents and stuff.
They cannot be left to hurt Israel because Israel is our friend.
Who stood up for us back in 1776 when we just a fledgling nation trying to secede from Britain? Israel.
Who warned us of the evil Mexicans back when we were just a small weak country and helped us decimate the formidable Mexican army? That's right. Israel.
Who were the first to be on the north's side in our fight to preserve the union and free the slaves? Israel.
Who gave us the confidence to push back and overthrow the savage Indian hordes who threatened to kill our sons and rape our daughters and and kill and rape our grandmothers and grandfathers and keep us from fulfilling God's command to spread our country from sea to shining sea? Israel.
Who was the voice of reason and told us to forgive the southerners and bring them back to the union even though we wanted to kill them all? Israel.
Who told us about the perils of non-interventionism and led us to glorious victories against Spain in 1898, the Germans in 1919 and the Germans and Japanese in 1945? Israel.
Who helped us stop the onslaught of Communism and Stalism and win the coldest of all wars? Israel.
Who warned us of the coming wave of Islamofacism and the evil nefarious intentions of Saddam Huessein with all his nuke and chemical weapons which he intended to use on Israel and America and even Kansas? Who helped us destroy the formidable Iraqi army and bring peace and prosperity to the Iraqi children? Who helped us drive the taliban from their caves? Who generously provided us with enhanced interrogation techniques that could be used to prevent evil Islamofascists from nuking California? Israel.
It was because of Israel's help in all those wars and more that we decided to create Israel as a reward for all the times Israel helped us.
If it wasn't for Israel, we would have Neville Chamberlain as our president, Chicago would be nuked by Libya, and we would be getting our heads hacked off daily by Islamofascists in the state of perpetual slavery. We wouldn't ever have the freedoms to write what we want on blogs, to watch American Idol, to subscribe to Drudge Report, or to drink beer and eat bacon. Israel is to thank for that.
So we found some land that had absolutely no people living on it-- near Jerusalem-- and gave it to them to thank them, despite all their horrible sufferings and tribulations that they didn't do anything to bring upon themselves, for all their staunch support throughout our history. And even though there might be a few of them who might steal our money or secretly conspire against us, they have done far more to help us than hurt us, and we should be thankful, for without them we would surely be in the deepest depths of a Islamofascist controlled world.
So next time you see an Israeli at some airport or next time you see a "kosher for passover" decal on a box of cream cheese, take some time to reflect upon their sacrifice for keeping our nation great. Long live Israel!