Be boop

GENTLEMEN AND LADIES

elvis would be 74 if he hadnt died while on the shitter..

and no matter how much money others make or how many cds are sold...

he is and always will be

THE KING..

(thank ya very much..)

Bubba Hotep.

wouldnt you know that if would be corky showing off young boys with t shirts...............hee hee

dont be cruel
to a heart thats cruel

thank ya very much.....

Bubba Ho Tep Flex

Geez BLT, get the lyrics right. Or are you doing the "fat, drug-addled Elvis"?

Elvis isn't dead. He shares an apartment with Tupac.

fat maybe........but my drug is life..........( holy crap)........sounds like IM in california, doesnt it?

and ever since I read about this yesterday I cant get heartbreak hotel out of my mind..

Sign the fucking Contract, Trevor Hoffman!

Bubba Ho-Tep trailer

so corky
when is that movie coming out

or am I behind and miss it

its hard to believe that something new and creative might actually be coming out of hollywood
what a great premise....

Bubba Ho Tep came out long ago, directed by the guy who did Phantasm and stars Bruce "The Man" Campbell. There is a sequel coming out soon, but it will not have Bruce "The Man" Campbell in it, but buy not rent, buy this DVD. The commentary by "The King" alone is worth it.

I am way too uncool to have heard of Bubba HoTep before now. What a riot, though!

Bubba HoTep is a great, great film.

I will have to look for it. I guess I just missed it when it came out but it must not have done all that well...a cult film perhaps....

and the woman making her breasts move on the thing after it was....well.........enthrallin
g........to say the least...

okay so lets look around the computer terminals here at the ole library

hmm....she looks okay but those tattoes on her shoulder arent too attractive..........

and then theres the mom at the end..

ah yes..a nice attractive black lady...

hhhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

hey why not..............she certainly is showing that she knows how to use her fingers

maybe I can watch her type some too

BA DUMP DUMP

thanks smitty......

hmm....she looks okay but those tattoes on her shoulder arent too attractive..........

and then theres the mom at the end..

The daughter has tattoos on her shoulder?

naw......I was looking around the room.....

and alas...its another MUCH TO SOON end to a broadcasting day

and yes gentlemen and ladies we are another day down in the big countdown

TWELVE DAYS AND COUNTING until the big day..

I just get all tingly even thinking about it,.

Way better ho tep

See #5 NG.

See #5 NG.

Yeah, that made it up before the trailer did, ;^)

Forbes recently profiled the 13 top-earning dead celebs with a combined income of over $194 mil last year. Elvis is in the house for the second year, taking the top spot with a whopping $52 mil, pulling in more than alive stars Justin Timberlake ($44 mil) and Madonna ($40 mil).

oh yeah...forgot

how about them dems uh..

lets see...just the other day dingy harry said

NO WAY
NO HOW
NO MATTER WHAT

we wont seat this guy in the senate

and today

WELLL....uh...you know....we might....

what balls and stamina..........shows that he is a pussy when he cant bullshit about bush or mccain

yes thats the one I was talking about..
so how is that related to the movie???

or should I get it and find out

or maybe I could ask this good looking women to my right if SHE can do that with hers...

any bets on how hard the slap to the face is?

My bad-musta been dazzled by the wit and wisdom of the Rusty postings that bracketed #5.

Other famous birthdays today include Soupy Sales, Larry Storch, and Butterfly McQueen.

"any bets on how hard the slap to the face is?

#27 | Posted by bushlovertwo "

Better get a mop. Shit splatters.

hey thats ALMOST funny.........thats what you get when you have to keep asking northguy for comedy help...........ho ho ho

and as always.......this friggin place has made me late for lunch.......

so hasta laredo and give um hell harry...keep those promises coming and breaking..........

and out

TWELVE DAYS AND COUNTING until the big day..

I just get all tingly even thinking about it,.

#21 | Posted by bushlovertwo

Chris Matthews is going to unload like a cannon.

because of my new name announcment

gee thats pretty flattering

You guys are both changing your names here after the 20th, right?

I just have to share this with each of you

I am about to get to sam houston race park and play the pick 6 at both acqueduct and the fairgrounds and when I win the couple of hundred thousand from them both I will be getting on a plane and heading for the nude beach in tahiti so I wont be on the site for awhile...........

and if nothing else then I have left you with the thought of ..

me on a nude beach..

oh oh.....

bl2 and WisG

Economic gloom, as expected, dragged down Christmas sales at retailers throughout the U.S., with discounters like Wal-Mart, luxury vendors like Neiman Marcus and pretty much everybody in between saying today that their holiday season results were poorer than expected.

We can blame Nieman Marcus' problems on saint sarah not having to buy any inaugural dresses, but c'mon righties, Walmart and China need your support!

You guys are both changing your names here after the 20th, right?

#34 | Posted by Hagbard_Celine

Not until I move out of Wisconsin.

larry's tapped out:

After repeated attempts to clear his name, ex-Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) is finally giving up on his effort to withdraw his guilty plea stemming from his 2007 arrest in a Minneapolis airport bathroom.

A month ago, a Minnesota appeals court rejected his motion to overturn a lower court's ruling denying his petition to withdraw his guilty plea to disorderly conduct charges. Since the case went public in August 2007, Craig has argued that he was pressured into the plea by police and that his conduct was not illegal.

But while Craig could still appeal to the state Supreme Court, his Minnesota attorney, Thomas M. Kelly of the Minneapolis firm Kelly & Jacobson, said his client would not do so.

and I am changing my name because...
well because its givin me something to talk about for months but also I will be retiring the name when the pres moves back to the great state of texas

sort of like doc and ed going out with johnny.......

Happy Birthday, Elvis !

Just a reminder...

Not until I move out of Wisconsin.
#38 | Posted by wisgod

You know, I have an easier time living with the idea that you are the god of Wisconsin than that my other interpretation of your name is true.

I sigh with you chris

because his 74th is a sure sign that YOU ARE GETTING REALLY OLD

but not me of course....hee hee

and as always.......this friggin place has made me late for lunch.......

Must suck when the crackheads beat you to the best corner...

oh hag..........rest easy son..........and try and worry about something with a little more substance.

"Happy Birthday, Elvis "

And what happen when the commies get a hold of the name?

Only the greatest band ever!!!

my person BDSM slave

As if we didn't think you weird enough.

But hey, what are boundaries for if you can't push them.

and try and worry about something with a little more substance.
#46 | Posted by bushlovertwo

Wondering is all. Not worrying.

Salamandagator:

You know, I have an easier time living with the idea that you are the god of Wisconsin than that my other interpretation of your name is true.

#43 | Posted by Hagbard_Celine

I guess I could move to Bumfuck, Ohio...

I could move to Bumfuck, Ohio...

No need to be redundant.

"Six String Samurai"

It has been a while, I'll have to dig our my VHS tapes and find it again.

I didn't "get" Six String Samurai. It started off fun and silly, but then just got pointlessly weird. Great first 1/2 hour though

I sigh with you chris

because his 74th is a sure sign that YOU ARE GETTING REALLY OLD

but not me of course....hee hee

#44 | Posted by bushlovertwo at 2009-01-08 01:10 PM

Elvis fans pass down from generation to generation, BL2.

I have a friend whose mother was a fanatical Elvis fan and another friend 1/3 the age of my friend's mother who never missed a single Elvis movie on tv and owns every song he ever sang. Elvis lives.

Say, I heard there was an Elvis sighting in Texas. Is that true? lol

Elvis! Sarah! Two totally media-created "personalities." herm

Say, I heard there was an Elvis sighting in Texas. Is that true? lol
#55 | Posted by CalifChris

Like every 20 minutes from what I hear.

Well, if we're gonna do it, we ought to do it right.

Ho hum. Sun spot minimum comes early and persists long. Astronauts endangered. Will we experience "Snowball Earth?" Crops fail. Billions starve. And Al Gore continues to hawk carbon credits. Cold. Colder. Brr. Brrr. Brrrr.

Good thing that Obama is ascending to the Presidency, and so can implement the response to "global warming," er, "climate change," promptly, i.e., before it is noted by "a consensus of scientists" that the phenomenon does not exist.

Third base!

What did the Jewish pedophile ask the little boy?

Would you like to buy some candy?

To Joe,

A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down the street and they pass a little boy playing in a sandbox.

"Boy I would love to screw that," say the Priest.

"Outta what," asked the Rabbi.

And in other news...

Ex-Senator Craig accepts sex sting guilty plea

CHICAGO (Reuters) Former Sen. Larry Craig has ended his effort to void the guilty plea he made following his 2007 arrest in a men's toilet sex-sting operation, his lawyer said on Thursday.

The Minnesota courts have denied the Idaho Republican's appeals asking that he be allowed to withdraw his disorderly conduct guilty plea, which was processed by mail much like a traffic ticket.

Another appeal to the Minnesota Supreme Court would have been fruitless, because the case did not raise significant or novel issues, Craig's attorney Thomas Kelly said.

Okay, san, since I just got busted for reposting, I'm gonna point you in the general direction of post #39.

Sven and Olaf worked together in a Wisconsin factory..and both were laid off.
Sodey went to the Unemployment Office together.
Asked his occupation, Olaf said, 'Panty stitcher. I sew da elastic onto da ladies cotton panties.'
The clerk looked up panty stitcher. Finding it classified as unskilled labor, she gave Olaf $300 a week in unemployment compensation.
Sven, when asked his occupation replied, 'Diesel fitter.'
The clerk looked up diesel fitterand it was classified as a skilled job. So, the clerk gave Sven $600 a week in unemployment compensation.
When Olaf found this out, he was furious !
He stormed back into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his benefits.
The clerk explained, 'Panty stitchers are unskilled labor and diesel fitters are skilled labor.'
'Vat skill?' yelled Olaf. 'I sew da elastic on da panties. Olaf puts dem over his head and says,
'Yah. DIESEL FITTER.'

F+1/2 flag

Okay, san, since I just got busted for reposting, I'm gonna point you in the general direction of post #39.

#64 | Posted by northguy3

Sorry NG - I usually try to read back up the thread, but got lazy today. Besides, I think ol' wide stance deserves extra attention for his last hurrah.

"Would you like to buy some candy?

#61 | Posted by JOE "

Joe's favorite pick-up line.

Anyone notice any similarities in all these mugshots?

Is Obama the anti-christ? No, but America will be an Obama-nation

Anyone notice any similarities in all these mugshots?

i.cdn.turner.com

#69 | Posted by JOE at 2009-01-08 02:56 PM | Reply

I noticed they photoshopped the 2 white guys in there, but beyond that...

A couple more good ones:

Why the photo of AmericanNutty?

So I can do something like this,

That's AmericanUntidy.

That's AmericanUntidy.
#76 | Posted by LeeAtwater

Fish meet baited hook, lol.

Sorry, AU.

Here's one for all you out in calif.

Do you know what happened 158 years ago this past fall... back in 1850?

California became a state.
The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets...

So, basically nothing has changed except the women had real breasts and the men didn't hold hands.

Sniper,
You earned 10 out of a possible 10 for that one.

And this is supposed to be different in CA compared to AZ NM TX NY DC ??

That's AmericanUntidy.

#76 | Posted by LeeAtwater at 2009-01-08 03:31 PM | Reply

Actually that was LaRryMohR. You may not have recognized him without Precious near by.

Silly dog...

"Chris Matthews is going to unload like a cannon." 32 | Posted by wisgod

FF wisgod

Olbermann will wet his pants and Maddow will have an orgasm thinking about her 'man'.

and as always.......this friggin place has made me late for lunch.......

Must suck when the crackheads beat you to the best corner...

#45 | Posted by northguy3 at

yeah it does get crowded

and YES WE hAVE ELVIS sightings in texas

or is it ufos.....

GO OKIES>

KICK THE SHIT OUT OF THE GATORS...

do it for the big 12...

RAH RAH RAH.............

have to put this here since there is obviouly no thread

in november it even made it here that three police officers in houston severely beat the father of donald driver and it was all over the news and now we find out that medical records and eye witness accounts and even lie detector tests on the officers is showing that they were ALL LIES and the da is expected to investigate and even bring charges to the people who knowingly signed false statements

and the homeboy muslim POVERTY PIMP named quannel X is expected to be sued in civil court for inflammatory false statements knowing they were false or something like that

I just wanted to post this since the cops being exonerated simply wont make the national news and its hardly even mentioned here as well.

if the cops did it, throw them in jail but evidence shows they didnt.

and this guy was on crack coccaine according to the medical records as well

MORE TO COME AS YOUR MAN IN HOUSTON IS RIGHT ON TOP OF THIS STORY

You want to hear some disturbing stuff about our economy listen to Coast to Coast.
The woman who is on giving the financial news is really telling some interesting stuff.

I'll stream the link to the radio show. TRILLIONS have completely disappeared from our government - both parties -- under Clinton, under Bush, and she says now one of the main engineers of helping the trillions disappear is on the Obama team. She spares no one. But she's not a partisan, just telling the truth about the financial mess we are in.

TRILLIONS have completely disappeared from our government

No biggie, darlin'.

That's what those printing machines are for.

I'm drunk.
I have no idea how I made it to work this moring. All I knoiw id my wife is pissed off becaise I pissed the bed.

good one 101!

Tell us some more:>)

I would if I could, but the last thing I actually rememebr is leaving Applebee's of all places...

I went to watch the gane and use a gift certificate some tool from work got me and the next thing I know is I wake up in a wet bed.

I know I wnet to some bar after aplebees, and they supposedlly had free dradfts from 10pm till midnight (rollingrock), but the rest is a blur.

I hope I sober up for my 3om meeting.

I was at a Marriot last nite watching the game...

your team win?

I was at a Marriot last nite watching the game...

Posted by Bani

I went to Sears to watch the game....

If you aren't spoofing 101ST .... good luck. I really mean that.

your team win?

#94 | Posted by Bani at 2009-01-09 09:18 AM | Reply |

Ihonestly have no idea who won.
I didn't "have" a team, so it really doesn't matter, but regardless, I do not even know who won.

Thanks AU, I'll make it through the day. The McD's steak bagel didn't mop up the excess alchohol like I had anticipated, but lunch is right around the corner.

Throw down a Red Bull.

W,
I've never had one of those, and I don't plan on starting today.

As for saying I don't know how I made it to work today, I don't mean it literally. I obviously know how, I just can't believe I actually made it!

I got home at 1230, so how in the hell can I still be lit? I only drank beer for shits sake (my wallet and bank tell me as much...).

I went to some bar that had free Rolling Rock after I left applebees...

Now I know why I prefer drinking my beers at home! Going out to drink is dangerouss!

101,

OUCH!!!!!!!! DOES YOUR HEAD HURT????? AM I WRITING TOO LOUD!!!!

Sorry, get a orange juice and asperin and drink lots and lots of water.

good luck

I went to some bar that had free Rolling Rock after I left applebees...

Posted by 101Chairborne
If you were drinking tappers, their beer lines might have been shitty. That's happened to me before and it can really kick a guy in the ass.

Money,
I'm not hung over, just drunk.

W,
I'd love to balme the lines, but instead I'm going to blame the bartender...I was horribly over-served.

...I was horribly over-served.
#103 | Posted by 101Chairborne

Yeah, it's the bartenders fault, you drunk!

-Hagbard "former bartender" Celine

My wife called...She's still angry. She asked me if myass hurt and when I told her "no", she saud "Well you can't claim you were roofyed (sp)".

Supposedly the down comforter isn't cheap to have dry-cleaned...again.

101ST

Take Money's advice: Load up on OJ when you go out for lunch and drink a lot of water now.

I'm sure you don't need tips on getting over a hangover, but from the amount it sounds like you drank a couple of things are important from a medical standpoint:

-Your body is throwing massive amounts of insulin into your system to combat the sugar the alcohol is metabolizing into. You'll need to let yourself down slowly.

-Eat pasta for lunch. All that insulin in your system will make you feel like crap as the sugar moves out of your system. The pasta will slowly keep sugar in your system. Hypoglycemic shock (too much insulin - not enough sugar) is one of the hardest things at the end of coming down from too much alcohol. Eat lots of carbs.

Hang in there. This too shall pass....

She asked me if myass hurt and when I told her "no", she saud "Well you can't claim you were roofyed (sp)".
#105 | Posted by 101Chairborne

LOL... sounds like my old lady.

LOL... sounds like my old lady.

#107 | Posted by Hagbard_Celine

Mine too. What's worse? The hangover or dealing with the little lady after the crime?

She's angry, but at least she's joking about it.

May assisatnt told me she got a contact buzz after coming in my office. I've eaten at least 20 candy canes to attempt to cover the smell of the booze...Nothing is working.

Fucking applebees...

Cost of a carton of orange juice, bottle of aspirin, and tap water = $9.97

Cost of a 12-gauge shotgun shell = $0.66

Tell her you were at the Dentist, and the asshole ran out of novacaine.

I've eaten at least 20 candy canes to attempt to cover the smell of the booze...Nothing is working.
Fucking applebees...
#109 | Posted by 101Chairborne

If it's that bad, the smell is coming from your pores as much as it is your mouth. Give your assistant a garlic necklace to hang around her neck. It's probably preferable to how you smell now. lol.

I can picture 101 standing in a puddle of Rolling Rock...

I can picture 101 standing in a puddle of Rolling Rock...
#113 | Posted by wisgod

Except that it's not Rolling Rock.

From the Appleby's camera...

Except that it's not Rolling Rock.

#114 | Posted by Hagbard_Celine

I beg to differ. The last time I tried one, I thought it tasted like piss.

Bwahahahaha Corky! You da man!

Here's a current pic....

From my experience, if you're still drunk now, the headache will kick in in the afternoon. I'd recommend taking 4 advil, drinking about a gallon of water and sleeping in your car for an hour during lunch.

Good advice from Joe. Especially the water. Dehydration is the cause of the hangover.

Coming up on 11 hours after my arrival home (so I'm told). Still a little buzzed, but getting tired.

I actually recall trying to give a table of fat chicks (6 of them) a $20 gift certificate (it was for food only, no beverages). When they declined it I said "Look, I know you like to eat, you know you like to eat, who are we kidding here?"

I pray to god (or whomever can make my wish come true) that nobody me or my family knows was witness to anything I did last night. I was 101chairborne last night, and it couldn't have been pretty.

I understand it was free, 101, but of all things, why Rolling Rock?

I was 101chairborne last night, and it couldn't have been pretty.
#121 | Posted by 101Chairborne

Did you introduce yourself that way? That would've been trouble. "Hi, I'm 101Chairborne from the Retort"

Yeah, keep the Chairborne identity on the internets... for your own safety.