Request denied.
The more they put in, the less they'll get back.
~Henry "I Got Mine" Paulson
Secretary of the Treasury

Could be worse.

They could be asking for package stimulation.

Time to prime the pump.

Won't inflation help?

The taxpayers need to get properly positioned for this.

Money shot!

"The taxpayers need to get properly positioned for this."

My little buddy, Danforth, the out of work actor, would appreciate a little "stimulus," I'm sure. Maybe they would finally make the sequel to "Brokeback Mountain," which they're gonna name "Reachback Ridge" or "Sore In The Saddle." He fervently wants to land the lead in that picture. You're a good friend of his, aren't you?

They heard that everyone was riding the government train, so to speak, so why not.

I think that Larry Flynt was only half serious about this, but Joe Francis believed every word he said.

The Ferderal Goverment has already shot it's load with the Banks and Automakers. Sorry

Maybe they would finally make the sequel to "Brokeback Mountain," which they're gonna name "Reachback Ridge" or "Sore In The Saddle."
#7 | Posted by jestgettinalong

Good luck getting the part. I'm just afraid you'll be disappointed since I heard they're not planning on including any barnyard animal extras.

Good luck getting the part. I'm just afraid you'll be disappointed since I heard they're not planning on including any barnyard animal extras.
#10 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis

I'm sure they'd hire him as fluffer.

I heard Vivid plans to lay half of their workforce.

FF for Hagbard!

"I'm sure they'd hire him as fluffer."

Doc, Hag...are y'all talking about Danforth or his little running mate, AmericanUnity? I don't think Danny is into cows and sheep, but not sure about AU. He has a masters degree, ya' know. Ya' can never be sure about those denizens of academia.

You've completely missed the point. (Sooprise!) You're made for the part. Just make sure you wash your hands afterwards.

Just make sure you wash your hands afterwards.

#15 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at 2009-01-08 10:56 AM | Reply |

Jest,
That's experience talking.

"You've completely missed the point."

No I didn't. The subject of the conversation was NOT myself. I realized you and Hag were confused, (or were a little weak in reading comprehension) so I attempted to set you straight. (You DID successfully complete English Comp 101, didn't you?) It obviously didn't work, but that's not a major shock. If you're still confused, I'll parse the sentences for you.

Ya' can never be sure about those denizens of academia.
#14 | Posted by jestgettinalong
I'll parse the sentences for you.
#17 | Posted by jestgettinalong

with a mouth that can use words like parse and denizen.... the perfect fluffer.

"with a mouth that can use words like parse and denizen.... the perfect fluffer."

To be honest, I didn't know what in hell a "fluffer" WAS until you used the word and I looked it up. I have to wonder now how YOU knew. Hmmmm?

If you're still confused, I'll parse the sentences for you.
#17 | Posted by jestgettinalong

Well, get to work, then. And don't call me (or anyone else, for that matter). You will be contacted in due course, about the time you're finished. Let's say the year 2026.

"To be honest, I didn't know what in hell a "fluffer" WAS until you used the word and I looked it up.
#19 | Posted by jestgettinalong"

". . .and then I knew I were one."

I didn't know what in hell a "fluffer" WAS until you used the word and I looked it up.
#19 | Posted by jestgettinalong

I prefer the term "Lobbyist".

I have to wonder now how YOU knew. Hmmmm?
#19 | Posted by jestgettinalong

I live in Chelsea. There's alot I know which I never intended.

I prefer the term "Lobbyist".
#21 | Posted by wisgod

The difference between a lobbyist and a fluffer is that the lobbyist finishes the job.

". . .and then I knew I were one."

Maybe when THIS was the definition:

"Fluffing is a hairdressing and makeup term. Fluffers were originally those who touched up an actress's hair and makeup during a shoot."

But then, that was back when "gay" meant happy, merry...

But then, that was back when "gay" meant happy, merry...
#24 | Posted by jestgettinalong

I know, I know: your chicken salad and Twinkie days.

"I know, I know: your chicken salad and Twinkie days."

I think you have me confused with those tofu-eating, latte-swilling, girly men out West.

Soy-eater.

Porn Foley Artist in action:

The jokes and opportunities to be a smart ass are just too easy on this one aren't they? Anytime you have the words porn, stimulus, & package in the same headline, you've got jokes for days.

Anytime you have the words porn, stimulus, & package in the same headline, you've got jokes for days.

And with that, you shouldn't need a "fluffer".

One too many words in the headline.

Look at the bright side "porn stars"....you're had ample practice for the screwing your about to receive.

You're all well trained pardon the pun).

ooops you're (as in you are).

". . .and then I knew I were one."

#20 | Posted by Doc_Sarvis at

Are you any good at it?

Hahaha, what's next? Is Larry going to sew erectile dysfunction Drug companies because guys no longer need a DVD to get worked up enough to perform?

I agree with sitdown, you just can't take this thread seriously because the humor of adding porn, stimulus & package in the headline.

Lonnie

And with that, you shouldn't need a "fluffer".

Of the many things I've learned on the DR, the definition of the word "fluffer" was unexpected.

Well, there TOO BIG to fail.

Are you any good at it?
#34 | Posted by Sniper

Considering the faux quote is attached to Jest, you might want to see if he wants to (a) share the work with you or (b) cut you in on the action.

If they don't get the money they will run the business by hand.

I hope you guys watched the related video. Olbermann can be dreadfully earnest and full of himself, but this is pretty funny.

It looks like they need better content to create a "rise" in viewers.

Bill Clinton could be in charge of the new program.

*** Anytime you have the words porn, stimulus, & package in the same headline, you've got jokes for days.
....#29 | Posted by HATEBIGGOV ****

......they just keep on coming......

Bill Clinton could be in charge of the new program.

#42 | Posted by grumpy_too
--------------------------
Bill would have no problem having trojan sponsor the new program. LOL.

Lonnie

They don't want things to get so bad they have to do something degrading for money.

MrB,
It should read "They don't want things to get so bad they have to do something's that is not degrading for money."

Correction for free =D

"...I think you have me confused with those tofu-eating, latte-swilling, girly men out West.... Posted by jestgettinalong"

No, Moron. We have you pegged right: A pig-lickin', horse-gropin' saddle-humper who has way too much fun with the family vaccuum cleaner hose when mommy and the kiddies are off at the mall.

Just like the rest of your intellectually inferior 'family-values' trailerpark trash clan.

BTW: Funniest bunch of retorts yet, everyone. Bravo.

Americans are already bent over--what's another one.

dems already up in arms about obamas tax cuts,so they just as well take it and give it to these fuckers.

This just beats them all.

I want a bailout too.

Gimmie somemoney bitches!

They could make a porn movie about the title of this thread.

Due to the bad economy, the male porn stars couldn't get it up.

They'd have some of their female porn stars registerd as lobbyists, screwing their way through congress in persuit of a bailout.

Any suggestions for a title?

"Warm Lovable Dick, Urban Legend" ?

By all means, approve the request. By the way, several years ago, I read a report that the feds had taken over the ownership of the Mustang Ranch in Nevada. Do they still own it? If so, the place can be turned into a stimulus place for Democrats. Liberals like Reid, Frank, Todd, and the like can be sent there, at government expense, on a two weeks stimulus vacation of their own. The poor gentlemen, they work so hard, they deserve it.

If they dont get it, how are all your sons and daughters gonna' make a living while attending the college of their choice? how are the milfs gonna pay for all that plastic surgery?

More people work in porn than for govco, the automakers and the banks combined.

pay attention.

I wonder if strippers nationwide are also feeling a pinch.

"I wonder if strippers nationwide are also feeling a pinch."

I doubt it.

I think that's still grounds for getting bounced, but you never know in these economic times.

FF BABUENTHAL

Porn Stars Seek Stimulus Package

Sounds as if someone's palm is ready to be greased...

The Porn community gave thousands to Al (The Clown) Frankin.

The Porn community gave thousands to Al (The Clown) Frankin.

#60 | Posted by ozzieoswald

And you're pissed because of the way they used the revenue generated from you?

It's not the size of the package it's the amount of stimulus it can deliver.

Be Well.