Drudge Retort: Red Meat for Yellow Dogs
Monday, October 20, 2008

Parents of children with attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder are almost twice as likely as other parents to divorce by the time their child is 8 years old, a new study suggests.

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Yet one more reason to stop and think before you fuck.

If you're not prepared for whatever slides down Mommy's Love Canal, you're not prepared to have kids.

Rubbers are cheap. Kids are expensive, even on those rare occasions they turn out to be perfect.

Jeez, MTW, what crawled up your love canal today?

The study tracked divorces among 282 families with children who had attended a summer treatment program for ADHD symptoms.

The number getting divorces is probably even higher for those whose children are not in treatment programs.

MaryTylerWhore has a point but it's a little too extreme seeing these people were (or got) married and anyways nobody plans on having an ADHD kid so they did the best they could but the stress is too great for a lot of people.

Let's go ride bikes.....oh a kitty....

Yet one more reason to stop and think before you fuck.

You need to knock that shit off right here and now!!!!!!

"MaryTylerWhore has a point but it's a little too extreme seeing these people were (or got) married and anyways nobody plans on having an ADHD kid so they did the best they could but the stress is too great for a lot of people."

Which is why I advised people to be prepared for anything before trying to have a kid. You cannot predict what you get, so counting on the lil' darlin's to be perfect is a fool's game.

So far as "doing the best you can" is concerned, again, planning is key. What is your best? Thinking about that up front beats the almighty shit outta trying to cope with stuff you're really not cut out to deal with. I know one mom who decided to have a cute lil' Munchkin of her very own. Her plan was fine as far as it went; she had a pretty good career, a decent amount of money, and could afford all kinds of daycare and stuff. Kid turned out to be autistic, and her life is basically a shambles now. She hadn't prepared for that level of trouble, and her "best" just ain't a-cuttin' it.

i think parents bound for divorce
have adhd kids

and not the other way around

i think parents bound for divorce
have adhd kids

and not the other way around

#8 | Posted by klifferd

Maybe in Muslim world. LOL.

Parents that allow their kids to be diagnosed with
phoney-baloney boutique illnesses are more likely
to get divorced than parents that don't hand their
kids over to shrinks, lazy teachers and pill-pushing
pharmeceutical companies.

i think parents bound for divorce have adhd kids and not the other way around --#8 | Posted by klifferd

Good point -- it does tend to run in families, and it does affect relationship skills.

Sad.

Hey what do you call an 8 year old with ADHD?

Hey, wanna go ride bikes?

Parents that allow their kids to be diagnosed with
phoney-baloney boutique illnesses are more likely
to get divorced than parents that don't hand their
kids over to shrinks, lazy teachers and pill-pushing
pharmeceutical companies. -- #10 | Posted by dean_buvia

There are undoubtedly a lot of false diagnoses, in part because it's widely misunderstood as a set of behavioral problems.

It's very real, though -- I wasn't diagnosed until well into adulthood, was well-behaved to the point of ridiculousness, was high school valedictorian, etc., and the diagnosis changed my life. (Like many with ADD, I will work myself to death; with treatment, I don't have to.)

Clinically, the problem is under-stimulation of the areas of the brain affecting organization and prioritization (which is why medical treatments include specific stimulants -- counterintuitive given the hyperactivity symptom). There have been advances in the use of qEEG's (quantitative electroencephalograms) and SPECT scans to detect ADD, but neither is 100% reliable yet.

ADD often manifests as behavioral problems because our brains don't prioritize stimuli the way others' do -- e.g., focusing on a teacher in a classroom and tuning out all the other things competing for attention for long stretches may be extremely difficult or even impossible. It's not necessarily associated with behavior problems though -- some with ADD tend toward daydreaminess instead, and some manage it better than others. Oh, and I keep writing ADD instead of ADHD -- most researchers do not believe that hyperactivity is always present. OTOH, I never thought of myself as hyperactive until a friend pointed out that most people do not require at least an hour of hard cardio every morning to be able to get any work done, and that left to my own devices, I'll spend 4-5 hours per day doing some kind of physical activity (dance, hiking, etc.). (Side benefit -- my RHR is in the low 40's.)

Finally, I know the term "differently abled" as a substitute for "disabled" is a PC cliche, but it seems particularly appropriate in the case of ADD. There are lots of positive traits that tend to go along with it -- creativity, outside-the-box thinking, generosity, etc. A lot of successful people have ADD. I'm in academia, and see the symptoms in a lot of my colleagues and students -- many very smart, original thinkers who would have trouble functioning in normal 9-5 jobs. An MD who has ADD himself and co-authored one of my favorite ADD books, put it this way:

Maybe it's just because I have ADD myself, but it seems to me that if anyone has a disorder, it is the people who plod along paying close attention to every little speck and crumb, every little detail and rule, every minor policy and procedure in every minuscule manual. I think these are the people who have a disorder. I call it Attention Surplus Disorder. They did exactly what they were told as children, told on others who did not, and now make a living doing what they're told, telling others what to do, and telling on those who don't...

Is it really a sign of mental health to be able to balance your checkbook, sit still in your chair, and never speak out of turn? As far as I can see, many people who don't have ADD are charter members of the Congenitally Boring. And who do you suppose comes up with the new ideas today? People with ADD, of course. -- Edward Hallowell and John Ratey, "Delivered from Distraction," pp. 21-22.

A major cause would be one parent agreeing with the school about putting the child on the mind altering drug that makes the kid depressed by the end of the day and the other parent disagreeing knowing that kids are different in the way they learn. And that is not to mention the school receives an addition $5,000.00 per year for handling a 'special needs' child.

"Maybe in Muslim world. LOL."

wisgod

silly
though, it makes zero sense hahaha

"You cannot predict what you get, so counting on the lil' darlin's to be perfect is a fool's game."

I think you mistakenly assume that the parents are divorcing because their child has ADHD. Couldn't the study also indicate that children inherit an inability to focus, pay attention and "commit" oneself from the parents, and that their divorce is simply a manifestation of their own inability to do the same?

When my oldest son was about 13, his grades went to shit and each day brought new comments from his teachers that basically went something like this, 'Your son is very smart and he knows the work but if he makes one more smart-aleck remark, I'm gonna kill him with a #2 pencil'. Of course, I'm paraphrasing.

so, we took him to a 'specialist' who promptly recommended we put him on Ritlin. So we did and it was the worst mistake I ever made. He tried it for about a month. After seeing what it was doing to him, I took the rest of the perscription and flushed it down the toilet.

Turns out he was just bored, school didn't challenge him, since they taught to the lowest common denominator. I got him involved in a local theatre group, he wanted to take guitar lessons, so he did that. He also played sax in the high school jazz ensemble.

You would think someone with bad grades certainly doesn't need more responsibility, but it snapped him right out of it. His grades increased by 2 letter grades almost immediately.

If you've got a smart or dynamic kid, they are ADHD only when compared with the average. And most so-called ADHD kids are above average intelligence and need to be challanged as such.

And turn off the fucking TV.

If you've got a smart or dynamic kid, they are ADHD only when compared with the average. And most so-called ADHD kids are above average intelligence and need to be challanged as such. -- Lip #18

Amen to that, except for the implication that they may not really be ADHD.

It's unfortunate that it's been tagged with the term "disorder." The only reason to think of it that way is because most people are different, and the world is structured by and for "most people" -- which puts ADD'ers at a disadvantage.

There are good reasons for the drug controversy -- the adults I know who went that path worked through a lot of possibilities with their doctors before they found something that worked properly. (Different medications, generic vs. name-brand makes a HUGE difference w/ Ritalin and different people do better on one rather than the other, dosage, extended-release v. immediate release, etc.) An ADD friend whose daughter does well on massive doses of Ritalin can't tolerate it at all, and uses a mix of behavioral strategies (including alternating activities as you describe with your son -- easier as an adult than as a kid in school) and low doses of something off-label (legal, but typically prescribed for something else).

Turning off the TV is a really good idea -- limiting time on the internet is another.

Good for you for paying attention to your kid and figuring out what works.

I don't seem to remember any ADHD children in my classes in the UK (30 years ago). I think maybe the Headmasters caine was the magic cure...

I don't seem to remember any ADHD children in my classes in the UK (30 years ago). I think maybe the Headmasters caine was the magic cure... --#20 | Posted by boyracer_x

There's some truth to that. Growing up in that kind of household was partly responsible for my success in grade & high school.

I paid big costs, though -- I actually got yelled at for spending too much time on HW, but it was the only way to avoid the "underachiever" label given my test scores and the fact that in a 4-hour stretch, I was likely to get only about a half-hour of real work in.

So were the parents adhd too, and that caused the divorces....or did the resultant family life's discourses cause the divorces?

Horseshit studies like these are throwaway worthless. Just another dime a dozen "studies" done with good intent, reported on by a know nothing reporter looking to create anxiety amongst the uninformed....

"I think you mistakenly assume that the parents are divorcing because their child has ADHD."

Joe:

I'm not assuming anything, and neither should anyone contemplating that old "be fruitful and multiply" stuff. Doesn't matter if the chicken or the egg came first - the fact is, kids are a crapshoot, they're a handful, they're going to eat you alive until they finally move out for good. All I'm saying is that people wanting to have a cute, sweet, smoochy, cuddly lil' bay-bee of their very own need to ask themselves if they're really ready for all that. From what I can see in public, with ballistic kids out of control while their exhausted parents leave them to their own devices, I don't think many people think much beyond the gratification of announcing the birth. I see more kids that no one should have had in the first place - their parents don't have the skills to raise them, see that they're educated, guide them towards a place in society, nuthin'.

Goddamnit, they're human beings, not puppies. A kid deserves a good start in life, and its parents' love, education and support through all its growing-up years. If you cannot do that NO. FUCKING. MATTER. WHAT., then you really shouldn't have a kid. Sorry, but that's the truth.

Hey kids are ok and all, just keep them the fuck away from me OK?

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