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XXXXX DRUDGE RETORT XXXXX 18:27:13 UTC MON OCT 16 2000 XXXXX Gore Condemned Gays But Sodomizes Wife! By
Rogers Cadenhead Though Vice President Al Gore declared 19 years ago that homosexuality is "just plain icky," he regularly commits acts of consensual sodomy with his wife Tipper, the DRUDGE RETORT can reveal. "When these two get a 15-minute opening in their schedules, you couldn't separate them with a hose," a senior Gore adviser told the DRUDGE RETORT. "Al told me that Gerard Damiano based his film DEEP THROAT on their relationship." In 1981, Gore discussed his views on man-man lovin' during a Tennessee "hootenanny," a gathering at which the menfolk of the town come together to drink hootch, discuss issues of the day, rig elections and hatch schemes to keep the black man in his place. According to one participant who left a message on the high-tech analog answering machine of the DRUDGE RETORT, during the hootenanny Nebuchadnezzar McCoy of the Knoxville McCoys asked Gore what he thought about buggering. "My good sir, pray tell what is your opinion of a man who intrudes himself upon another man's most indelicate of areas, the spankhole?" McCoy asked. "I think it is gnarly," Gore responded, and he immediately launched a detailed 30-minute discussion about fecal bacteria, the thin, blood-vessel-rich walls of the anus and the risk factors for venereal disease, complete with numerous charts. "It is not just another normal optional lifestyle," he said. Gore later issued a clarification after the COOKEVILLE HERALD-CITIZEN wrote an angry editorial condemning his remarks. "I would like to state for the record that nothing I said related to the practice of sheep bothering," Gore told the paper. I have a great deal of respect for the cherished folk traditions of Tennessee." These comments sharply conflict with Gore's current statements on the love that dare not speak its name. Earlier this year, Gore declared: "The time has come to widen the sphincter of opportunity to include sodomites. I will fight against the powerful forces for your right to sodomize the people you love and be sodomized by them in return." Reaction was swift in Austin to the news of Gore's 20-year-old anti-gay remarks. "Now do you understand why we ran a candidate who never entertained a political thought prior to 1990?" Bush chief campaign strategist Karl Rove told SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST. "Back in 1981, our man was too busy snorting cocaine off the breasts of strippers to get himself into any trouble." © DRUDGE RETORT 2000 |