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XXXXX DRUDGE RETORT XXXXX 19:09:38 UTC FEB 12 1999 XXXXX Superexclusive: President Clinton Removed From Office!
By Rogers Cadenhead The U.S. Senate threw a kink into President Clinton's after-party plans when they voted to remove him from office. The Senate vote, cast shortly after 1:30 p.m. EST, makes Clinton the first chief executive to be evicted "in a long time -- like maybe ever," says Rep. Mary Bono of California. The vote was split strictly on party lines: 56 votes for removal, 45 votes against. Republican Sen. Arlen Specter relied on a centuries-old Scottish law that enabled him to vote four times: yes, yes, "not-telling" and "huh?" Under the terms of the removal, President Clinton must vacate his office before 9 a.m. on March 1 or he'll lose his $12,000 property deposit. During the remainder of his term, the president cannot inhabit any other office that receives federal funding. Independent Counsel Kenneth Starr will be allowed to use the executive office of the president until January 2001. "This will save me a great deal of time," Starr confided to BRILL'S CONTENT publisher Steven Brill in an interview that will hit newsstands in about six months. "We'll also be able to cut costs by sending subpoenas through interoffice mail." The vote took place shortly after the Senate rejected two articles of impeachment on Friday afternoon, a move that's widely considered to be a slap in the face of Vice President Al Gore. Although it takes a 67-vote supermajority to remove a president from office, it takes only 51 votes to make him leave the office and work someplace else. In a related story, the Friday afternoon Oval Office kegger has been cancelled, White House spokesman Joe Lockhart announced to a profoundly disappointed press corps. "Are you fucking kidding me?" longtime UPI political correspondent Helen Thomas asked. A source close to the White House told the DRUDGE RETORT that aides are scrambling for temporary quarters in which Clinton can carry out the affairs of state. "Our first choice was the Chinese Embassy," the source revealed. "Unfortunately, they're receiving $1.2 billion in discretionary funds from the State Department during the current fiscal year." President Clinton quickly suggested an alternative choice, CNN's Jeff Greenfield reported Friday afternoon. "I expect them to lease space in the Watergate Hotel," Greenfield said. "Almost 90 percent of an American president's job can be accomplished with a wet bar and a full-service Kinko's." © DRUDGE RETORT 2001 |