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XXXXX DRUDGE RETORT XXXXX 15:21:12 UTC TUE SEP 8 1998 XXXXX Exclusive: White House Should Consider Having Mole Removed!
By Jonathan Bourne Tue Sep 08 1998 15:21 UTC -- It has been learned that prosecutor Ken Starr has a secret White House source [rhymes with "pillory"] who has been providing a road map for the Independent Counsel's investigation of the president's genitalia! One hideously-placed source describes how Starr and his deputies have been secretly taking depositions from many witnesses who claim Clinton has a "very unique and hauntingly beautiful" mole. In a stunning development sure to induce paranoia [and perhaps hiccups] inside the White House compound, one inconsequential witness has claimed the mole can only be described as "Cindy Crawfordesque." Another person/animal with detailed knowledge of the situation explains: "[Starr] has too much outside information -- that only an outsider could have provided." Developing... © DRUDGE RETORT 1998 |