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XXXXX DRUDGE RETORT XXXXX 12:44:30 UTC WED JUL 29 1998 XXXXX Scoop of the Century: President's Sexy Screensaver Filled Monica's Box, Vanity Fair to Report!
By Rogers Cadenhead and Jonathan Bourne As the free world waits with breathless anticipation to see what Monica Lewinsky does with her newly acquired immunity, VANITY FAIR is going to press with a story that may push Lewinsky's tattle-tale to the back pages of the nation's leading dailies. On cappucino-stained hardcopy printouts obtained by the DRUDGE RETORT from VANITY FAIR's Madison Avenue digs, the wags at the rags mag have uncovered physical evidence that adds a sordid new meaning to the phrase "You've got mail!" ... Or should that be "You've got male!" ... According to VANITY FAIR, the president liked to fill Lewinsky's box [that is, her electronic one at AMERICA ONLINE] with pictures and video created on his personal PC computer. Using a Connectix QuickClip that retails for $94.95, the man Monica called "the creep" composed a megabyte multimedia movie made for her point-and-click pleasure. "It was so large," Monica has told friends who told VANITY. "I had trouble doing anything with it, and I had to make space by dragging some other files to my recycle bin." Lewinsky might be wishing she had placed this file in her bin as well, for it shows the president doing his best impression of ALLY McBEAL's Dancing Baby in nothing but an adult-sized diaper and a smile, shaking his groove thing to George Clinton's "Booty Body Ready for the Plush Funk." Using the QuickClip's photo-album feature, the prez created a viewer-discretion-is-advised screen saver of his baby boogie, VANITY is prepared to report. By a stroke of luck, his inexperience with the device resulted in a blurry black-and-white film in which his identity isn't immediately apparent. "You wouldn't know it unless someone pointed it out to you," one source close to the situation told us late Tuesday night on a secured line. "It looked like the films of Max Ophüls." Seasoned readers of the DRUDGE RETORT might suspect that this file turned up when Kenneth Starr's team was probing the recesses of Monica's hard drive, the digital smoking gun that may have caused her to start shooting straight with the extra-special prosecutor. However, the screensaver was reportedly given by Monica to photographer Herb Ritts as a thank-you for his work this spring. He made floppy copies for several coworkers. (Ritts snapped the chick's pics for the slick's June layout in Malibu, the intern's best-known spread outside the confines of the Oval Office.) If the glossy bosses don't lose their nerve, the next VANITY FAIR cover will show more skin to the American public than Demi Moore's infamous pre-calfing portrait. Say cheese! © DRUDGE RETORT 1998 |