XXXXX DRUDGE RETORT XXXXX 13:47:08 UTC THU JUL 30 1998 XXXXX

Correction: No Van Susteren Sex Orgy After All!

In a dispatch filed late Wednesday, the DRUDGE RETORT reported that CNBC legal eagle Greta Van Susteren recently opened up her Beltway home [and her belt] during a period-authentic Roman orgy attended by Wolf Blitzer, several colleagues from the Georgetown School of Law and flaxen-haired goddess Debbie Matenopoulos of ABC daytimer THE VIEW.

There is no evidence that Georgetown faculty, Blitzer or sloe-eyed sex kitten Matenopoulos have been invited to Van Susteren's home for any reason, much less granted ingress to engage in public acts of sexual debauchery involving "a punitive-minded Van Susteren and a gavel once owned by legendary jurist Learned Hand."

Van Susteren did host a dinner party recently that was followed by monogamous heterosexual sex with 10-year-husband John Coale. However, the consensual coitus took place after all guests had left and did not involve any objects traditionally employed in the practice of law, a source close to the intercourse has told the RETORT.

Additionally, Van Susteren appears on CNN, not CNBC.

The DRUDGE RETORT regrets the errors.

© DRUDGE RETORT 1998